I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

I wished I had more time in my previous life.

I was always struggling with late-night work, rarely receiving proper overtime pay, and I had to keep working at a company far away just to make ends meet. I constantly thought how nice it would be to have some personal time.

Even if I had the weekend off, I would just collapse and couldn’t even think about playing games or watching movies, having only managed to read a little bit of novels here and there.

There was a time when I wanted to be born into a wealthy family, living carefree without money worries.

…Actually, I still have that desire now. Honestly, when I woke up in Sara’s body, I was thinking about such things.

Every day, I could spend money like water, while even more money came in. The lives I saw wealthy people leading on the internet, like collecting supercars, raising rare animals, or even creating amusement parks in their mansions… all of that was now within reach.

If only I had more money, I could have done this and that—my daydreams all coming true with plenty to spare.

Despite having all of that, there was only one thing that Sara truly wished for.

The love of her remaining family.

Looking back now, the reason I could have such dreams or fantasies was because I had my fair share of what others might have. Although I couldn’t meet friends often due to work, I had a few whom I could catch up with occasionally. I also had family who supported me and parents who cared for me during tough times.

I wouldn’t say I lived a life without envy.

I merely had what Sara couldn’t.

Unlike my former life where I lacked time to pursue hobbies or anything deeply, now what I had was simply time.

While Sara, who shared my vision, would strike up conversations with me, I couldn’t do the same.

I was only wandering through Sara’s heart, reading her memories.

As I saw before, Sara’s memories were a continuous monotony of daily life.

Except when she went to school, she was always at home. There was no one to converse with. No one to play with, and of course, no friends.

It was as if she couldn’t engage in things like the internet unless it was absolutely necessary.

In reality, all of this was stuff she could do if she had wanted to.

When I asked for a smartphone, Yang Hye-in handed one over to me. Whenever I caused a stir inside the mansion, the staff would be surprised, but they never stopped me.

Yes, Sara could do anything she wished if she set her mind to it.

She just didn’t know how, having been crushed at such a young age.

…Sara was sitting on the bed with her knees drawn up, staring blankly ahead.

At first glance, it looked like a still frame, but with a closer look, you could see her shoulders rising and falling rhythmically as she breathed.

A moment from Sara’s repetitive life I couldn’t pinpoint when exactly it happened.

For no reason, I sat down next to Sara. I knew well that even if I sat beside her or spoke, Sara wouldn’t respond. This was merely a recreation of Sara’s memories.

There was no one beside her at that time.

Just watching Sara waste her time, doing nothing in the room, was pitifully heartbreaking.

“What if I had come just a little earlier?”

The silence weighing down the room was too heavy, and I muttered to myself.

Of course, the young Sara had no reaction.

I sat down beside her. Was it because the memory Sara was younger? Even though I looked like her, I appeared taller, while Sara seemed smaller.

“If I had come when you were younger, before everything happened…”

“…What happened to me?”

“Ah.”

Sara interrupted my words.

When I turned to look, the young Sara was staring up at me. She didn’t look much different from the current Sara, but perhaps due to her age, her eyes seemed a little bigger and more innocent.

Yet what was visible in those eyes wasn’t the innocence of a child. It was much deeper, a wound that wouldn’t heal easily. Dark memories of her childhood.

“Did you come?”

When I asked like that,

“Yeah, I’m back!”

Sara smiled brightly.

And then she leaned her face on my shoulder.

Sara liked it when I looked slightly bigger than her. She enjoyed leaning on me, hugging me, and looking up at me.

Even I, who wasn’t the most perceptive, could easily notice that this was an expression of the parent she couldn’t have had in her childhood.

Well, to be honest, I’m still a bit too young to have a daughter like this.

“Was school fun?”

“Yeah!”

I experienced this kind of daily conversation every day.

Although I only saw Sara’s face when she was asleep, I didn’t think it was particularly bad.

“Guess what, at school….”

Sara excitedly told me about the day she had. What the school lunch was, what happened with Ha Neul, Sohee, and Sua, what Son Ah-reum pointed out today, how much she ran around on the playground, and how much she practiced with the soccer ball.

All of it was tales of peaceful days amidst a repetitive routine.

There didn’t seem to be anything important or serious in her stories. I thought that was a good thing.

I believed it was the process of Sara pursuing the life she wanted.

Aside from “her mother’s love,” which was Sara’s life goal, she was merely an empty shell. A newborn babe, having no idea why she should live or how she should live. Having not learned what she needed to learn and missing the love she should have received, she was a frightened little child who didn’t know how to connect with others.

The reason Sara wanted to entrust her life to me was probably because of that.

However, even that Sara has changed a lot now.

Now, when she told me she would go tidy up “her life” and went back to the surface of consciousness, she no longer needed to say she entrusted her life to me.

I didn’t know when she would request help from me again, but for now, it looked like Sara was doing well.

That’s a relief.

It’s a bit sad that she hasn’t met Ha Neul, Sua, and Sohee.

I also feel a bit disappointed that I can’t run anymore, which I’ve begun to enjoy, and I can’t play kickball, which I’ve started to get used to.

But all of that was probably something Sara should have enjoyed in the first place.

“…Are you okay?”

Sara, who had been excitedly speaking to me, suddenly looked up with a worried expression.

Ah, at that moment, my thoughts had drifted elsewhere.

“Hmm? Of course I am.”

“Really? Aren’t you sad about not being able to meet your friends?”

“….”

Sara is really sharp at times like this.

Could it be because she had never faced anyone? Her instinct to read people’s emotions sometimes sent chills down my spine.

Perhaps it was a talent she gained from having observed people for so long without forming connections.

“No, it’s fine.”

Sad but fine.

But like I said earlier, those were things that Sara should naturally have enjoyed.

Wasn’t there a route for Ye Sara in the original game?

Even though I don’t know the story of every route, and in fact, the parts I know are just highlights from someone else’s playthrough, not my own firsthand experience.

But at this point, it’s hard not to know.

In that game, Ye Sara could probably be called the true heroine.

If you fell into a route with a male character, Ye Sara appears as the villain. In the female character routes, she doesn’t stand out much, but why does she suddenly appear as a villain with such a sad past?

Perhaps it was because she had given up on everything or maybe she had found her own way of using it.

In all those routes, in the end, Choi Na-kyung gives up on Ye Sara.

Right, perhaps even without my interference, Sara might realize the twisted nature of her relationship with Choi Na-kyung and make her own efforts to break that bond.

An uninvited guest who inadvertently butted into Sara’s life and meddled in various ways.

That’s where I stand now.

In the long run, it might be best for me to leave this body.

After all, I was already dead, and having a male persona in the head of a teenage girl with a bright future wouldn’t be beneficial for anyone.

“It’s okay.”

But for now, I answered like that.

Because Sara was looking up at me with such an anxious expression.

For the time being, I need to sit next to Sara and support her will.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

And someday.

When the day comes that I am no longer needed in Sara’s life.

Like a friend from her imagination that she remembered in her childhood and then forgot, I will take the path I’m supposed to go, as a wandering spirit.

I decided to do just that.

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