I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

It was only the first time that I felt embarrassed.

When I asked Sara to dry my hair, I was super embarrassed! But looking back now, it wasn’t just me, but Sara was incredibly embarrassed too. You see, it’s more embarrassing when the other person is aware of you than when you are aware of them.

However, the current ‘Sara’ was completely oblivious to Lee Soo-ah’s body.

Seeing this, I realized that ‘Sara’ and Sara’s reactions were clearly different.

Of course, ‘Sara’ flushed when it came to actions that were obviously not something friends would do. But conversely, when ‘Sara’ did things that are justifiable between friends, she accepted it very naturally.

Whether it was crossing arms beside me, being hugged by Sua or Sohee, or sleeping on the same bed…

The reactions were absolutely different from the blushing, unsure Sara.

If it was really Sara and not ‘Sara’, then we wouldn’t be able to bathe together like this.

And it seemed like neither ‘Sara’ nor Sara realized how different their reactions were.

“Sara,”

Lee Soo-ah said while lathering soap on ‘Sara’s’ back.

“Yeah?”

Sara replied.

“You know there’s another Sara inside you, right?”

“……Yeah.”

There was a hint of wariness in ‘Sara’s’ voice.

This reaction was the same. Every time ‘Sara’ spoke about Sara, she wore a deeply affectionate expression. It was as if she was looking at another person, not just another version of herself.

Or like someone she admired.

Of course, admiration is a feeling that can arise towards the same gender. Lee Soo-ah herself felt an admiration for Sara, and that admiration had developed into her current feelings.

…That’s right. Admiration can evolve into such feelings.

But generally, if someone has admiration for the same gender, the possibility of that evolving into romantic feelings is quite low. A lot of people simply don’t think of the possibility of becoming lovers among the same sex.

For admiration to transform into love, one must first be able to feel such emotions towards someone of the same gender.

But ‘Sara’ didn’t show much of a sexual reaction to other women. She didn’t seem to have a strong aversion, but she didn’t show it as openly as Sohee or Ha Neul either.

So, perhaps—

“Could it be that the two of you are of different genders?”

“Uh, what!?”

‘Sara’ turned around in shock to look at Lee Soo-ah.

How that was even possible was something Lee Soo-ah didn’t know either.

However, it was said that in cases where a person claims to have multiple personalities or has such a disorder, there are often cases where the genders of the personalities are different. It’s not just about the gender either; it can also involve past experiences, favorite foods, disliked people, and education.

Of course, not all of that can be ‘true.’ In the end, there’s only one body, and the past can only be one as well, and even if one claims to be a PhD in a certain field, they wouldn’t really be if they indeed lacked the knowledge and skills of a true doctor.

There are accounts of personalities absolutely hating and fighting with each other.

Of course, the differences between ‘Sara’ and Sara weren’t that extreme, but—

There had to be some examples even in the case of Sara and ‘Sara.’

Sara wanted to ride amusement park rides. That must have been part of her personality. But ‘Sara’s’ body didn’t suit the rides at all, so Sara couldn’t enjoy them properly.

If one were to pick the most contrasting differences in their personalities, Lee Soo-ah would definitely choose that aspect.

“Uh, why do you think that?”

Looking at Lee Soo-ah’s calm expression, ‘Sara’ seemed to have cooled her head as she quickly turned away and asked.

“It just seemed like that from your reactions.”

Even if she wasn’t a boy, Sara was certainly more interested in girls than guys. After all, she hadn’t shown much interest in her fiancé or the senior who helped her every day.

Regardless of their personalities, both were known for being good-looking at school.

“……”

‘Sara’ fell silent for a moment before saying,

“I don’t know.”

With her voice laced with anxiety, she responded.

I see.

But seeing that reaction, Lee Soo-ah was certain.

‘Sara’ and Sara were undeniably different beings.

The first person Lee Soo-ah ever liked was Sara.

But that didn’t mean she wanted to deny ‘Sara’.

The relationship of Sara and Lee Soo-ah existed because ‘Sara’ was there. Even if that beginning wasn’t a proper start and it stemmed from Lee Soo-ah doing something wrong to ‘Sara’, which in turn led to feelings of guilt…

In fact, the feelings Lee Soo-ah had when she first approached Sara and asked to take a photo were undoubtedly feelings that couldn’t be justified.

Because ‘Sara’ seemed pitiful, and it felt like she had to reach out and talk to her.

It felt like reaching out in such a way would alleviate some of the guilt.

When digging deeper into that memory, at its very core, the psychology was probably like this.

…Lee Soo-ah still hadn’t apologized.

Not for what had happened then, nor for the things before that.

If she wanted to truly apologize, it would probably take much longer than this.

But until the day she could deliver a proper apology, Lee Soo-ah thought she would stay by ‘Sara’ and Sara’s side.

“I see.”

“……I didn’t say anything.”

However, Lee Soo-ah couldn’t hide the sly smile creeping onto her lips.

Separate from the guilt, she felt joy as well.

Sara definitely had an interest in girls, unlike ‘Sara’.

And she had shown a clear reaction to seeing her own body!

That fact seemed to tell Lee Soo-ah that she still had a chance, allowing her to relax just a little.

*

“I’ll go first.”

The ‘Sara’ who had entered first and was washing said. A moment ago, Lee Soo-ah didn’t seem uncomfortable at all, but now that feeling had changed entirely. It felt very much like she wanted to escape the situation.

…Indeed, it seems I had probed too personal a matter.

Lee Soo-ah nodded.

“I’ll finish washing and step out.”

‘Sara’ nodded and quickly left the bathroom. Sounds of her drying off echoed from outside the door.

“……”

Lee Soo-ah thought it was about time to wrap up her own washing as well.

After a while, Lee Soo-ah also exited the bathroom.

Outside the bathroom, Sohee and Ha Neul were wide-eyed, staring in this direction.

It seemed they had only just returned to the living room.

‘Sara’ appeared somewhat flustered at their reactions.

“Wh-why are you two there?”

“W-well, we bathed together, so…”

‘Sara’ replied to Sohee’s question.

At that, Sohee’s face turned pale.

“Wh-what? Why?”

‘Sara’ immediately questioned back anxiously.

It was a bit surprising to see how Sara, who was so confident earlier in front of the teachers, reacting like this now.

“Is that not okay?”

‘Sara’ asked while looking back and forth between Lee Soo-ah, Sohee, and Ha Neul.

“Of course not…”

Sohee was about to say so angrily but quickly shut her mouth. Then looking closely at Lee Soo-ah who had followed behind ‘Sara,’ she said,

“…You’re not thoughtless, right?”

Just like that, she quickly changed the subject.

Right, normally this would be something unthinkable, but if ‘Sara’ didn’t think it was wrong, then Sohee and Ha Neul also might have a chance next time.

“Um… I’m just asking in case.”

Sohee, who had briefly gotten lost in thought, asked ‘Sara’.

“You only washed inside, right? Nothing else happened?”

At that question, Ha Neul facepalmed, but Sohee seemed not to care greatly.

“Are there other things you could do besides washing in the bathroom?”

‘Sara’ asked back with a strange look.

“Right? Of course not. The bathroom is for washing. There’s certainly no way there could be anything else happening!”

With that response, Sohee’s face lit up instantly.

“Hey, Sara. Next time, let’s go in together. Even though it looks like this, I’m your exclusive maid, right? I can wash you clean!”

“Huh? W-wait?”

When Sohee suddenly rushed in, hugging her, ‘Sara’ became extremely flustered. Thankfully, she wasn’t wrapped in just a bath towel or something, but some strands of hair that had been pinned up were slithering down her neck and sticking to her fair skin.

“Uh, uh…?”

In response to Sohee’s enthusiastic appeal, ‘Sara’ seemed like she was ultimately consenting.

In reality, there probably wasn’t much reason to refuse from the beginning.

Just like she had done with Lee Soo-ah.

That’s right.

Lee Soo-ah still had a chance. For ‘Sara’, Ha Neul, Sua, and Sohee were all the same friends.

Watching Sohee cheerfully latch onto ‘Sara’, Lee Soo-ah felt a bit relieved.

…On one hand, she thought perhaps she should intervene a little.

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