I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

Episode 4 – Hearing the Saintess’s True Feelings (4)

“Wow, congratulations! Astar! Victoria too!”

Hearing our statements, the hero, with a delighted smile, launched into the bizarre act of preparing a drinking party. This is just a contractual relationship, is it really okay to do this in the middle of enemy territory?

“That said, there’s no need to go as far as having drinks and this kind of high-class meal.”

Right now, a perfectly roasted leg of jeweled deer was placed in front of me. Of course, the drink is water. Even if I said I wanted to drink with them, Victoria had stolen my share.

“What are you saying, Astar? If you don’t commemorate a day like this, people will be talking about it for a long time afterward.”

Right now, Kyle was sitting next to me, his arm around my shoulder. His words of advice, like a senior in life, irked me for no reason.

“Lovers misunderstand and disappoint each other over small things, causing their relationship to worsen. Have you forgotten that I’m in a position to send letters to my childhood friend every day back home?”

From the first day of the journey, Kyle hadn’t skipped a single day of writing to his childhood sweetheart, whom he was dating.

Since it was a letter being sent from the Demon Realm to the continent, it was my job to cast multiple layers of protection magic to prevent it from being eavesdropped on or having his identity revealed, so there was no way I could forget.

“I can’t do it like you. Where does such devotion even come from….”

To be honest, I still didn’t understand Kyle. If the letter fell into the hands of the Demon Army, his childhood friend could be taken hostage, so why would he risk it?

Does love really blind people like that?

“You were the one who confessed first, right? Then you should know? If you like someone, it can’t be helped. You end up wanting to do anything for that person.”

At Kyle’s words, I stared blankly at Victoria. When our eyes met, I realized something was wrong.

It was like this woman had no interest in the food or drink, and had just been staring at me the whole time. I think I was beginning to understand a little bit what it meant for love to be heavy.

– We made eye contact. What excuse should I make…? Ah, I know!

“…That’s right. Astar was secretly harboring a one-sided love for me. She always grumbled while taking care of me, so I knew her nature wasn’t bad.”

Victoria was answering Kyle’s words nonchalantly. It seemed her mind was thinking this was a genuine confession, rather than a contractual relationship.

“……”

I didn’t bother responding to Victoria’s words, instead just narrowing my eyes and glaring at her. After all, this was just a false relationship.

“Why are you like that? After confessing to me so passionately, are you suddenly feeling shy now?”

– Even if you glare like that, I’m not scared at all!

Victoria, showing a relaxed smile while looking at me, the opposite of her inner thoughts. Actually, I still didn’t believe the fact that she liked me.

From the start, shouldn’t someone who likes you treat you with a softer attitude? It wasn’t like a teenage boy, and I couldn’t even guess why she was hiding her true feelings like this.

“How did you confess? Tell me. There’s no way that troublemaker did it in a romantic setting.”

The spirit mage, Anima, was right next to Victoria, not taking her suspicious gaze off me. It seemed that Victoria was too flustered, and she didn’t completely trust her.

“Let’s stop at that. In the first place, love is not something to brag about to others.”

I tried to stop Victoria before she blurted out something she’d regret. She was already wasted, completely drunk. If she said any more, the fact that our relationship was a contract might come out.

Then she’d definitely use it to tease me. About grabbing her hand first, or making up that I confessed first.

If she got a hold of a weakness now, it might go on for years, so I really wanted this contract relationship to end smoothly.

“…No, no. It was quite a romantic place, actually. In front of the lake, under the bright moonlight, you got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with you.”

– If I say it like this, maybe he’ll really confess later…? I’m such a genius!

Victoria was already walking down a path of no return. She was rattling off her hopes as if they were facts.

I wondered since when she had liked me; in this area, she was completely unstoppable.

“Victoria, stop drinking. You’re really drunk.”

I bit my lower lip slightly, giving Victoria a warning look. It was obvious she was going way past her limit and pouring down the alcohol.

“No. Why shouldn’t I get drunk on such a happy day?”

Victoria hiccuped and raised her voice at me. Her cheeks were flushed, and the tipsy feeling was hitting her hard.

“To think that a powerful wizard like you was actually messing with me because you liked me!”

“…Did I ever mess with you?”

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t recall anything. It was mostly Victoria who started the accusations against me, and I just responded.

“When you think about it, our first impression was the worst. What kind of wizard uses a flower rain spell on someone who has suffered from flowers their entire life?”

Victoria started to tell me off, clicking her tongue in disapproval. Her slightly glaring eyes felt almost aggressive.

“…”

I had nothing to say, not even if I had ten mouths, so I gulped down the cold water in front of me all at once.

Just as Victoria had said, I had cast the flower rain spell, Flower Rain, when I first met her.

“That’s why you’re so clueless about women. How could you be so oblivious?”

– Astar is an idiot. An idiot who doesn’t know my heart.

Victoria muttered to herself, calling me an idiot as she tilted her glass. It was like she’d been holding onto something from a year ago until now.

Come to think of it, maybe our relationship went sour from that point.

“People can be a little clueless.”

I retorted to Victoria as if I was making a protest. There was a reason why I had to do that back then.

‘Actually, the first spell I used was a healing magic, but thankfully she didn’t notice.’

The moment I saw Victoria, I could tell what structure the flowers were that were taking over her body.

It was a kind of curse. Something sinister rather than a holy miracle, a parasite that was eating away at Victoria’s body and soul.

‘You looked like you were about to die, after all. I had no other choice.’

A pair of empty eyes that lacked even the slightest hint of hope for life, as if everything was meaningless. That was how Victoria looked when I first met her, clearly.

So, I slammed every healing magic I knew into Victoria, but nothing worked.

‘That doesn’t mean we should hide the truth. Giving false hope is a terrible kind of torture. At least I need to find a sure way to get rid of Victoria’s side effects.’

I sighed deeply inside. If it got out that I’d used magic haphazardly on a Saint, the Holy See could brand me a heretic. That’s why I purposefully used other magic.

“…You’re the first person my magic hasn’t worked on. And I was pretty confident in it, you know?”

I mumbled to myself, a little unfairly resentful.

I deliberately chose to become a liar. Just mentioning the possibility of removing the flowers blooming on Victoria’s body could be hurtful to her.

“No woman would fall for such outdated magic. Did you think I was that easy?”

Victoria heard my lie, chuckled, and placed her chest on the table.

-She’s being easy right now though.

It was a deliberate act to seduce me. Since I could hear Victoria’s thoughts, I tried my best to avoid looking there and kept my eyes on hers.

“But I liked what you said after that.”

“What did I say?”

“Are you really that stupid? How can a so-called genius wizard not remember what he said?”

-I still remember the warm words that followed…

Victoria puffed out her cheeks slightly, looking upset. The drunken flush was almost palpable.

“You said you wanted to meet the Saint, even in a life that would disappear in the blink of an eye. Ugh, so cheesy. How’d you come up with such a pickup line?”

Anima, sitting next to me, nudged my ribs with her elbow, bringing up the situation from then. Her tightly furrowed brow expressed her inability to understand it, no matter how hard she tried.

“That’s right. And then you grabbed my hand tightly.”

“I remember what happened after that too. ‘Do you want to hold a woman’s hand even during a state of emergency? You’re a hopeless piece of trash,’ you said, while condemning me.”

The look Victoria had given me at that time was still etched in my memory, it was so shocking.

“That is correct. Back then, I mistakenly thought you had ulterior motives. If I may be so bold, I thought you were just a horny dog who couldn’t control his lower body.”

“So what, you’re saying you don’t think that now?”

“Yes. You didn’t even lust after me, after seeing my naked body. Instead, you seemed more worried about my injuries.”

Victoria was talking about the moment after she’d suffered a massive wound, when I had used healing magic on her.

A huge hole had been blown through her body, her intestines scattering everywhere. There was no way I could have been thinking such crude thoughts at such a moment.

“Isn’t that obvious? How could I have such trashy thoughts when a person was dying in front of me?”

I hid my shaking hands under the table and spoke nonchalantly. No matter how much I’d experienced it, I never wanted to see someone die before my eyes again.

“Weren’t you trash, though? You almost grabbed Victoria by the collar because she didn’t give you liquor and cigarettes.”

“…I may not be trash, but I do think you’re at least impotent. You’re the first guy I’ve met like you.”

-I have confidence in my figure. Is he really a eunuch? Or maybe… erectile dysfunction…?

I couldn’t help but let out a hollow laugh, dumbfounded by Victoria’s inner thoughts. There absolutely wouldn’t be a fool in this world who’d spend a night with a woman like you.

“There was even some crazy b*stard who pretended to be blind once, and tried to touch Victoria’s chest,” Tarion said, tilting his glass as if angered. It was quite rare for him, usually so gentle, to speak like that.

“Wasn’t it Astal who saved you then too? Surely, it was some bloke pretending to be blind with magic.”

As Kyle mentioned, it was my job to protect her every time something like that happened. It was endlessly annoying that demons or men, smitten with Victoria’s looks, kept flocking to her.

Magic, after all, was freer and more versatile than other disciplines, making it advantageous for dealing with these sudden situations.

“That’s right. It’s precisely for that reason that I accepted Astal’s confession. At least this man doesn’t have the guts to do me any harm… or so I thought.”

“Even so, I think you’re too good for him.”

“Is that so? Actually, I also accepted him because I wanted to know what this thing called ‘love’ is all about.”

– *Please notice me. Please like me…*

Though Victoria was clearly answering with a nonchalant attitude to Anima’s words, her true feelings hidden within were restless.

“So, are you two sharing a room at the inn tonight?”

Just then,

The hero, Kyle, said with a bright smile as if a good idea had just struck him. He was glancing sideways, as if testing our reactions.

“What?”

“Huh?”

Such shocking remarks left me and Victoria no choice but to be equally bewildered, like we had planned it.

“You’re dating, right? Surely, it’s not actually a lie like Anima said, is it?”

The hero, Kyle, even had the audacity to question us as if we were the ones who were strange. Anima and Tarion next to him were also watching us.

Come to think of it, I had forgotten that Anima and Tarion, being lovers, shared a room with each other.

“B-but… today’s the first day. Isn’t it still too… stimulating…”

“Yeah, I don’t think this is the right move, even so.”

Victoria’s face flushed as she stammered, and I frantically started acting to avoid exposing our contract relationship.

“You’ve already seen each other naked while treating injuries. If we want to stay in the Demon Realm as long as possible, we need to save on these things, remember?”

But the hero Kyle’s position didn’t change.

In the Demon Realm, where human dreams, blood, and lifespans were currency, we had to do anything to save every last penny.

“Hey, then you shouldn’t have eaten that thing just now!”

“That’s different from this. You clueless love-idiot.”

As I burst out angrily, Kyle grabbed my shoulders and sighed deeply. He even clicked his tongue, saying I had no sense.

“Here, take the room key. You lovers should resolve your pent-up feelings. I’ll be a third wheel and give you some space.”

Kyle pulled a stunt, handing just *one* room key and bolting before Victoria and I could even start with the nonsense. Arguing would only make him look even weirder.

“We’re leaving for the liar’s town tomorrow. Don’t stay up too late?”

He announced the plan for tomorrow and then vanished. What the hell is he even thinking doing all that?

And then,

– Oh, what do I do? Did I wear pretty underwear today? I don’t think I did…!

Hearing Victoria’s inner thoughts, picturing something strange, my head spun.