SWNOVELXO chapter 223
223 – Chapter 223 Just Like Me
Episode 223: Just like me
“…”
“…”
As soon as Mulia finished her question, a heavy silence fell in the room. She was so heavy that it felt like her shoulders were getting heavy.
“Do you remember what I told you earlier? “Please answer me.”
“Yes, Lady Mulia.”
“Please answer honestly. Because I was prepared.”
What kind of resolution are you talking about?
I had doubts about that, but it was obvious that it would be rude to ask.
I felt Mulia’s light purple eyes carefully examining my expressions. It’s as if they’re trying to catch a clue from my facial expression
‘Hmm. How should I answer…’
To be honest, her question was very troubling to me. It was because she had never thought of having feelings for Cecilia.
Well, I have the mindset that I can’t betray my trust right now…
I just rolled my eyes and looked at Mulia. She still had her eyes fixed on me. At this rate, it was like there was no way for her to escape.
Let’s try this.
“Young lady. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, so I needed to go to the bathroom…”
“I’ll go with you.”
Mulia spoke without even a second thought.
“…”
“Did you ask a question that was that difficult to answer?”
This was too shallow…
I let out a sigh and looked at her in the eye again.
“Actually, I’m not sure how to answer.”
“I see.”
Mulia sounded more serious than before.
“Because… I never thought about it like that in the first place. “After all, I am merely Her Majesty Cecilia’s direct secretary.”
She is also the eldest cousin, but she keeps that fact quiet.
“It means that you contributed to His Majesty as Secretary.”
I said yes and nodded her head. Mulia looked at me quietly.
“Hmm…”
While making a soft moan.
“Hey, Lady Mulia?”
“Is that how you feel right now, Mr. Luke?”
“Actually… One more thing I would like to say is that I don’t want to betray the trust we have built up so far.”
“!”
Mulia suddenly opened her eyes wide and reacted in surprise.
“But Mr. Luke… “You still haven’t given up on her resignation, have you?”
“Yes.”
“But isn’t it contradictory to say that I don’t want to break faith?”
At Mulia’s point, I was momentarily left speechless. No, this was something I was secretly thinking about myself.
But I gave my own answer to that.
“The trust I am talking about is the trust I have built up as a direct secretary. At first, I was going to leave regardless… After being rejected a few times, I think my thoughts have changed a bit. Let’s end things properly and then part ways.”
“I see…”
Mulia blurted her words. Maybe it’s because the answer is very different from what she expected.
I don’t know what kind of answer she was expecting.
“Then Mr. Luke, after he resigns, do you think he will never meet with me, Flora, and Her Majesty Cecilia?”
“…”
I was speechless for a moment.
When I first submitted my resignation letter, I had decided not to meet at all. But her plan goes awry, and she continues to stay with them… There seemed to be a slight change in my state of mind.
I honestly confessed this feeling to Mulia.
“In fact, he intended to do so when he first decided to resign… That’s not the case now.”
“I see.”
There was a strange look of relief in Mulia’s tone
“I didn’t want to be separated from Luke forever like this. Perhaps Flora and our Majesty will do the same.”
After speaking up to that point, Mulia got up from the stool.
“Still, I’m glad to hear your honest feelings. Have a restful night.”
Mulia bowed, and I also stood up and responded to her greeting her.
“I hope you too have a peaceful night.”
Immediately after Mulia left her room, I sat back down on the bed. After sharing my feelings for the first time in a long time, I felt relieved for some reason.
Is it because it was thanks to her that she was able to say something she had never said to anyone before?
Or maybe Mulia has become a person I feel comfortable with now.
Well, that doesn’t mean she gave up on her resignation.
* * *
As soon as Mulia returned to her own room, she jumped into her bed. She then crawled under the blanket.
She grabbed the hem of her blanket and only peeked her eyes out of the blanket. All the lights that illuminated the darkness were turned off, so all she could see was the dark ceiling.
She thought, blinking her eyelids occasionally. About the conversation I had with Luke a little while ago.
The reason she asked Luke if he had feelings for Her Majesty Cecilia was because she was genuinely curious and wanted to find out.
He has not submitted any more resignation letters since he made a pact with Cecilia.
Perhaps the agreement was related to some kind of action against the aristocratic faction. Still, Cecilia said her goal today was to get two members of the noble faction to join the emperor faction.
‘Of course, I still don’t know what His Majesty is ultimately aiming for…’
However, there was something else that really bothered Mulia. Luke gave an ambiguous answer to her own question.
Perhaps Luke had already made up his mind but didn’t bother to tell himself.
But she was sure of Mulia. The expression Luke showed was not the expression he shows when lying. She seemed really lost herself.
“However, he said he could not abandon God…”
Wouldn’t that be Luke’s own expression of affection for Her Majesty Cecilia?
Mulia thought about it for a moment, but then she slowly shook her head. However, this conclusion was somewhat weak.
Faithfulness does not mean affection or love.
In any case, it is much closer to the meaning of carrying out my duties as secretary.
‘Then the conclusion is…’
Unlike Her Majesty Cecilia, she might not have any romantic feelings for Mr. Luke.
“…”
You know it yourself. The fact is that this is just a guess mixed with hope.
However, people sometimes feel the desire to lean on it, even if it is a vain hope. Current Mulia was in such a state.
She said that perhaps she still had a chance to appeal to herself.
After thinking about that, she quietly placed her right hand on her left breast. Her heartbeat, faster than usual, was clearly transmitted through her palms.
“Ha. I feel like I’ve become a really selfish woman…”
Even though she felt a little immoral, she couldn’t let go of the thought that Mulia would have her chance.
Flora has already confessed to Luke, and although Cecilia has not done anything special, she always tries to keep Luke by her side.
So what has she been doing all this time?
She didn’t need to think about it. Because she only made a decision and never put it into practice.
‘It’s a lot late, but even now…’
The first thing that Mulia thought of was to confess her feelings to Luke.
“…”
Mulia felt a warm feeling rising from below her neck.
Of course that was… It won’t be easy!
She didn’t want anyone to see her like this, so she turned over her blanket. Even in that state, she continued to think about it, and she decided to start by getting closer than she was now.
Speak more kindly, show a smile on your face even if it’s not as much as Flora’s…
Mulia, having decided on her course of action, clenched her fists in her blanket.
“I can do it.”
What would it be like to be a selfish woman?
It was better than regretting not being able to express these feelings, she thought.
* * *
As soon as lunch was over, Cecilia suggested that we go for a walk.
No, I would say this is closer to coercion than a suggestion.
Flora and Mulia looked towards us, wanting to follow us, but Cecilia said,
“You should rest well.”
We blocked that possibility in advance.
So, once again, I took a walk alone with Cecilia. The place she went to was the garden behind the main palace.
When I glanced sideways, I saw Cecilia smiling with the corners of her mouth slightly raised, as if she was happy about the situation.
“Hey, Your Majesty.”
“Hmm?”
As she turned her head in this direction, her face had a deeper smile than before. As if this moment was very enjoyable…
“I saw earlier that Lady Flora and Lady Mulia seemed very eager to follow.”
“Hmm. “I guess you saw it too.”
There was a certain ease in her tone.
“You don’t have to worry too much. “They are my old friends, so they will understand this arrangement.”
For reference, there was an incident a few days ago when the maids expressed their disappointment towards Cecilia.
But I didn’t do the stupid thing of mentioning it. Even if you try, you will only earn more.
Cecilia stood on the bridge across the pond with leisurely steps. Then she spoke to me.
“Luke. Let’s walk side by side with me.”
“If others see…”
“Don’t worry, there’s no one around.”
Surely there was no one else around but us. I lined up next to her, just as she wanted. Then she walked at her own pace.
In the middle of the bridge, there was a pergola with a view of the pond, and Cecilia stopped exactly at the pergola.
“Luke.”
She called me and cast her gaze towards the edge of the pond.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“If this thing goes well, do you really want to leave?”
“…”
Cecilia had already asked the same question before. The desire to hold on to me must be that great.
“You don’t answer right away this time.”
“My answer does not change.”
“Ha.”
Cecilia let out a short sigh and suddenly she turned towards me. Then she suddenly grabbed my right hand.
“Your Majesty?”
I was momentarily surprised by the sudden action. But instead of answering, Cecilia fiddled with my hand. It felt like I was molding clay, so I quietly looked down at it.
Only after some time had passed did Cecilia let go of my hand
“You are so stubborn too. Just like me.”
“!”
To hear Cecilia say we look alike…
I looked at her expression to see if she was reprimanding me, and I sensed her confusion. It seemed as if he was proud of having found something similar to himself.
‘What is it that makes you look like that?’
But strangely, I felt something tickling in my chest.
“Luke?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“It’s fun to see them embarrassed.”
Cecilia laughed, covering her mouth with her hand, and I also laughed along with her.
As I felt the tingling in my chest becoming stronger than before.