SWNOVELXO Chapter 66 - Willpower
Translator: Elisia
Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle
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“No.”
I shook off his hand just as the word for purification was about to leave his mouth.
Si-Hoo will die.
If he forces himself to use that in his current condition, it’ll be disastrous.
“You can’t die.”
I already knew he was pushing himself too far.
You really are kind.
Even after coming this far, you’re still trying to save me.
But what’s the point if Si-Hoo dies?
“…And yet, you’re always the one trying to die so easily.”
Si-Hoo spoke quietly, but it sounded like he was angry.
“I, I don’t want to die either. But my condition keeps getting worse… It’d probably be better if I just died. But you’re different.”
-Thunk.
The sound of monsters stomping on the ground as they fell echoed around us.
Their growls rumbled through the air.
They came from the gate I had just opened.
The Awakeners who had been attacking me shifted their focus to the monsters emerging from the gate.
For a moment, we had a chance to talk without interference.
“What’s different?”
“Huh?”
“I don’t want to live that much either.”
“What?”
I never expected to hear Si-Hoo say he didn’t want to live.
Aren’t you not supposed to say things like that?
You’re the protagonist.
“You have to be here.”
“What? Me?”
I have to be here?
“It’s better if I die and you stay alive.”
“Wh-what are you talking about? Someone like me staying alive is pointless—”
“Do you hate me?”
Hate you?
Would I have come this far if I hated you?
“No. I don’t hate you. I actually like you.”
“Yeah. I like you more.”
My mind went blank.
What does Si-Hoo want from me?
“Ah… But it’s hard to go back to the way things were. The Seo-Ah you like isn’t here anymore.”
“No, I like you no matter what state you’re in.”
“Huh? Snap out of it, Si-Hoo. I don’t know what you mean by ‘like,’ but I’m not worth going that far for. If you’re doing this out of a sense of duty, you don’t need to.”
Si-Hoo is kind.
It’s just that my strangeness led to all these misunderstandings.
Would things have been fine if it weren’t for the drugs?
“No, it’s not because of duty… I just like you. I’ve wanted to say this for a long time. You have to stay alive.”
“Because you need to.”
“S-snap out of it. Don’t talk nonsense.”
That’s not it.
That can’t be true.
I don’t even fully understand what it means to like someone.
But I know he’s showing goodwill toward me.
That’s not allowed.
The binding magic grew weaker.
I pulled myself away from Han Si-Hoo.
“You can hate me. I’m just a burden dragging you down, aren’t I? If you came here to hunt me, that’s fine. Telling me to go home or that we’d watch the stars together—those were just empty words, weren’t they? That’s what they were, right?”
“No.”
“Don’t lie. I never really thought you’d come to help me… I just figured you’d forget someone like me and live your life well…”
“No.”
“…That’s not okay.”
[Integrating consciousness…]
My ending has already been decided.
I’ll die in this broken state.
“I’m going to save you.”
“I’m going to die anyway! I should have died a long time ago, but I ended up living by mistake. I should’ve died before ending up like this. Then I wouldn’t have been in pain. I wouldn’t have been in pain. This damned world should just be destroyed.”
The world’s destruction!
It’s about time, isn’t it?
“I won’t let you die.”
He reached out toward me, but I shook him off.
I put some distance between us.
If this were the usual Han Si-Hoo, he would’ve caught up to me easily.
But this time was different.
“Don’t do this. I’m telling you, you’ll die.”
“I don’t care.”
Suddenly, all the things I’d done to Han Si-Hoo flashed through my mind.
I stabbed him with a knife, causing him harm countless times.
It wouldn’t be strange if he thought I hated him.
He might even think I wanted him dead.
No, that’s not it.
That’s not it.
That was all just a mistake.
It was all because I acted selfishly.
I understand now that Si-Hoo is prepared to die to save me.
But in this situation, no matter what we do, it’s a problem.
Si-Hoo is in terrible shape, and I’m turning into something dragon-like.
“Even if I survive because of you…! What’s the point if you’re not here? I’ll just end up as a monster by myself. Do you know what people think of me? They say just giving me canned tuna is enough to keep me. You’re the only one, the only one who even remotely sees me as a person.”
Han Si-Hoo froze for a moment.
He must have realized that purification wouldn’t solve the issue.
So there was only one choice.
To leave me be.
“…But if you disappear, I…”
Si-Hoo’s hand trembled.
“No! You’ll do just fine. You’re more capable, hardworking, kind, and talented than me. You were never meant to be stuck in a place like the slums with someone like me.”
“It’s all because of you.”
“Me?”
“I worked hard to protect you. I became kinder because I wanted to look good for you. I only seemed diligent because of you. It was all because of you. You made it possible.”
Han Si-Hoo’s driving force for growth.
Was it me?
Was it?
“…I see. You worked hard. Truly.”
“I…”
Si-Hoo staggered.
The fact that he was even standing like this seemed like a miracle.
Let’s think rationally.
Si-Hoo is no longer the character I once knew from the novel.
Not anymore.
Not anymore…
He doesn’t want me to die.
He doesn’t want me to disappear.
The protagonist wants this so much.
But it’s already too late.
[Complete]
“I really like you, Si-Hoo.”
***
Seo-Ah smiled.
She said she liked him.
He wouldn’t let her say something like that and then disappear.
He realized that purification was the wrong choice.
Leaving Seo-Ah alone was cruel in its own way.
His poor condition had led to this misjudgment.
But Han Si-Hoo had one last option.
There was a skill he had learned while capturing Lee Yu-Ram’s younger sister.
[Forced Transfer]
In essence, it was teleportation.
It allowed him to move a target to a pre-designated location.
After kidnapping Lee Yu-Na, he had used it a few more times.
And the transfer location was…
A type of prison.
Since kidnapping Lee Yu-Na, he had used it almost exclusively for combat purposes, which made sense.
A place capable of confining even a dragon.
A dragon would be too large to transfer, but someone like Seo-Ah would fit.
Seo-Ah’s eyes sparkled.
The horns formed from mana seemed to grow even larger.
It was clear she was being eroded by the dragon.
And not just partially—she seemed almost entirely consumed.
I could feel the flow of mana.
She might try to use Mana Devourer again.
There were no options left.
“[Forced Transfer].”
And Yoo Seo-Ah disappeared.
A rush of blood surged up my throat.
Fortunately, I was able to use the massive amount of mana in the surroundings.
The depletion of my life force was minimal.
But regardless, I had reached my limit.
Still, I was relieved Seo-Ah told me she liked me.
***
A ringing sound echoed in his ears.
Han Si-Hoo sat blankly amidst a pile of concrete.
Perhaps “laying down” would be a more accurate description.
The battle ended only after the gate was sealed.
The dragon was slain.
At least, that’s what the official story was.
“Si-Hoo.”
“Yeah.”
His head throbbed.
“Let’s go. We need to return to the Academy and get you treated…”
“Rena.”
Her silver hair was dulled by the dust and grime.
She must have fought hard.
“What?”
“I’m not going.”
There was no longer any reason to attend the Academy.
Maybe there hadn’t been a reason for a long time.
I had gained everything I needed.
“About Seo-Ah… I’m really sorry. I had so much I wanted to say to her too…”
“Yeah.”
It’s regrettable.
But it’s not over yet.
Not yet.
I confined Seo-Ah.
To a distant prison.
I never thought I’d use the transfer skill on her.
“Still, let’s get you treated.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
He closed his eyes.
He planned to rest for just a moment.
“…It’s sad that we won’t see Seo-Ah anymore, but still…”
“No.”
I can see her.
And one day, things will go back to the way they used to be.
Purification is undoubtedly a dangerous method.
Even using it in a perfect state without penalties comes with major risks.
And more than anything, the penalty affects me directly.
“…No?”
Everyone thinks Seo-Ah is dead.
By all appearances, it seems that way.
“Probably.”
If that’s the case, this is an opportunity.
“…Your condition isn’t good. Let’s go. Quickly.”
“……”
“Come on, okay?”
Rena helped Si-Hoo to his feet.
His vision blurred.
“What about the others?”
“I don’t know. This place is a total mess.”
Thanks to the rampaging Awakeners.
“Right… I see…”
Rena looked at Han Si-Hoo with a worried expression.
What kind of comfort could one offer to someone who had lost their last hope?
“Si-Hoo, you can lean on me whenever it’s hard. It’s better than suffering alone like this.”
“Thank you.”
Rena was a good friend.
But she wasn’t Seo-Ah.
Han Si-Hoo followed Rena.
Toward where their friends were.
The sun was rising.
The dawn air was cold.
A wasteland of twisted steel, concrete, and asphalt.
Han Si-Hoo suddenly stopped walking.
A future that had gone astray.
But there was still hope.
“What’s wrong?”
Noticing something was off, Rena turned back to look at him.
“Here.”
Han Si-Hoo held out his sword.
As if asking her to take it.
“Huh? Why? Are you giving it to me?”
“It’s from the Academy.”
“Uh, but why give it to me?”
“I’m not going to use it anymore.”
What the Academy lent him would be returned to the Academy.
He realized not long ago that there might be a tracking device embedded in the sword.
The same likely went for the uniform.
Though, even without such devices, he had intended to discard them.
“…Huh?”
“I won’t be attending the Academy anymore. So, Rena, I probably won’t see you for a while either.”
It was a withdrawal.
A choice I should have made long ago.
“W-what are you saying? Is this because of Seo-Ah?”
“Yeah. Meeting good friends like you was great, but honestly, I only stayed for Seo-Ah.”
“Then now… you’re saying you won’t even see me?”
“Probably not for a while.”
He planned to abandon all the connections he had made at the Academy.
“…I don’t know where you’re planning to go, but let me come with you.”
“You have a family.”
Han Si-Hoo only had one person he could call family.
But Rena was different.
She had several younger siblings and parents who were alive and well.
“But…”
He couldn’t take Rena with him.
“Take care. Let’s meet again later. It’s probably better if I just disappear here.”
Han Si-Hoo didn’t look like someone who had lost all hope.
A strong, almost blinding will still burned within him.
He still had a goal.
For now.
Rena silently watched Si-Hoo.
The sun was rising.
The light began to shine through.
“…If that’s what you’ve decided.”
Han Si-Hoo hadn’t lost his light yet.
So Rena placed her hopes in him.
She didn’t know what he was planning to do.
She couldn’t fully grasp the situation.
All she could do was hope that whatever Si-Hoo intended would succeed.