SWNOVELXO Chapter 58
Si-Hoo is approaching that person.
I’m not a monster.
I asked for forgiveness, so why are they coming?
I have to run away.
I haven’t received proper treatment yet.
Given my odd condition, I don’t want to see Si-Hoo right now.
However, I did tell the Saint to come, but I never told Si-Hoo.
Is that really Si-Hoo?
He looks like he’s been hurt pretty badly.
“Seo-A?”
Seo-A?
If you strip all the petals off a flower, is it still a flower?
Peeling away one petal for the self, one for the personality, and one for humanity and reason left me with something that barely resembles a human.
“I’m not Seo-A.”
Seo-A is much cuter, kinder, and purer than I am.
“It’ll be okay, so, Seo-A…”
Who is Seo-A?
I’m not her.
I’m not that kind of girl.
“No, I’m… a tuna can!”
I can understand that much.
It’s not written anywhere that I’m Yoo Seo-A.
But it is written that I’m a tuna can.
“Um…?”
“Ah, hello! I’m a tuna can. Pretty name, right? Since you gave it to me, I have to protect it now, right? I’ll even get it for Seo-A…”
“What… are you saying?”
Do you not understand?
That’s possible.
But that’s not important.
“You went to the Academy, didn’t you? Seo-A was home. Was she home?”
She should be if I go home.
“I’m just a tuna can, so I’m not sure. But it seems like Seo-A really wanted to play with you.”
I start talking about what’s been going on.
What has happened.
It’s been a while since we met.
“I was looking through your window since you didn’t come, but you weren’t there. Oh? Did you know? Your room’s curtains were waving. They told me to wait. So I waited, you know? All day long.”
All day.
Day, two days, three days, four days, and still nothing.
But Si-Hoo had no intention of coming.
“You didn’t come to Seo-A, did you? Of course, you wouldn’t. Why would you come here? You have friends other than Seo-A. But isn’t it funny? Seo-A was clearly waiting for you, yet I saw you walking around laughing with other kids. I definitely saw it! You were talking and laughing with someone else. But it’s okay, it’s really okay. You should do what makes you happy. I’ll just sit here, because that’s the type of person I am. I get it if you dislike me; I could never be friends with someone like me anyway—no one likes someone like me.”
What are you rambling on about?
“But why are you standing there like that? If you stay too still, you know… it feels like you’re hiding something. You’re trying to reassure me while attacking me, aren’t you? Huh? You’re hiding something, right? Right? You should be telling me something right now, but you’re not. Aren’t you? Why aren’t you answering?!”
“……”
Han Si-Hoo seems to want to say something, his lips parting, but he hesitates for a moment.
Our eyes meet.
Han Si-Hoo speaks, looking surprised.
“Seo-A, your eyes…?”
Eyes?
It seems I accidentally removed my hand that was covering my eyes.
Did he see?
I quickly cover them again.
“Y-you know, my eyes? No, it’s nothing. Just a bit tired, that’s all. Yes, just tired. I am definitely not a monster.”
“No one thinks you’re a monster.”
“I’m just a tuna can. Or maybe a cabbage or lettuce. What was—wait a second… you came with someone else, didn’t you? They’re all hiding, right?”
For some reason, a vehicle that’s been half-destroyed is visible in the distance.
It looks like it was attacked by a monster.
From the smoke rising, it seems like it just arrived.
Si-Hoo doesn’t know how to drive.
“I-I’m going home. I’ll go alone, so stay there. Got it? You go play with your friend!”
He starts to step back.
“And you don’t know this, but I have friends too. I can play with my friends when I get home… Friends who won’t threaten me with swords… Ahahaha…”
There’s a reason I have to go home.
I don’t really have anywhere else to go.
“I only came here to talk to myself. Other people won’t interfere. They’re just dealing with the monsters over there, so don’t worry.”
He approaches.
“Don’t come near me.”
Crack.
An attack.
A black wooden root stretches out to strike Han Si-Hoo.
The root of a tree.
– You’re a rotten root beneath the tree. A root no one cares about.
I hear a strange voice.
“Shut up.”
[5%]
They repay the debt by transferring the pain.
They are grateful.
To pay off my debt for me.
But all I can give in return is pain.
Rrriip.
Light flashes, and the black root is cut away.
The attack fails.
This time it strikes more sharply and thinly.
But again, I block it with a single swing.
– Someone like you should have never existed. Who created you? It must have been a mistake. If the word ‘mistake’ is still alive, that word is you. The world would be better without you.
“Please, shut up…”
I wish everything would just die.
Crack crack crack!
Black thorns burst from the ground.
Han Si-Hoo retreats to avoid them.
The surface is turned upside down with just one attack.
– Why are you standing there? Just stepping on the ground is horrifying. The ground you step on hates you and wants to bury you. Just stay there until it collapses, and you’ll die trampled by people; that’s the ending that suits you best.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for hurting the ground.
But it wasn’t intentional.
Crack, crack, crack.
Black twigs and thorns.
No matter how much I attack, I can’t surpass Han Si-Hoo.
Because he’s the protagonist.
Even covered in blood, he blocks all my attacks.
“Don’t come here. You’re not the only one with friends.”
My friends will come and help too.
Surely they will.
“He’s a friend who even gives me gifts.”
A gift.
So it was a ribbon.
A black one.
Where could it have gone?
I’m not the type to keep ribbons on me, you see.
“A gift, a ribbon… I had a friend’s gift… but I lost it. Wait a second, I think I dropped it on the ground.”
Even when I search the ground, I see nothing but stones.
– Try to speak in contexts, but honestly, all your words are just junk. They mean nothing and I don’t want to hear them. Just be silent; your voice dirties the world, and a stone is better. Stones are quiet.
What in the world are you saying? It’s so noisy.
The ribbon is right here.
“Oh, here it is! Haha.”
With trembling hands, I pick the ribbon from the ground.
There’s no way I could have lost something my friend gave me.
***
Seo-A stops attacking and picks something up from the ground.
“Look, it’s a ribbon.”
It’s not a ribbon; it’s a piece of wire.
I laugh while holding the piece of wire that was discarded.
“It’s a gift from a friend. I have friends too.”
The one who gifted the ribbon was Han Si-Hoo.
But that’s just wire.
Seo-A lightly ties her side hair with the wire.
However, the wire is too loose to hold her hair.
It simply falls to the ground with a thud.
“……”
Silence.
That can’t be a ribbon.
A wire is just a wire.
“…A tuna can doesn’t have ribbons.”
Seo-A says that and steps on the wire without a care.
Han Si-Hoo has successfully reunited with Seo-A, but he can’t understand anything.
A tuna can? It doesn’t make sense.
My head hurts.
The situation is bizarre.
“I’m sorry, Seo-A.”
He apologizes.
He doesn’t even know what to say.
But he has no intention of giving up on Seo-A.
“I’m a tuna can. It’s delicious, you know.”
Seo-A tilts her head as if she doesn’t understand.
“No, you…”
“Don’t come near me.”
Yet, he still steps closer.
“But I’m not a tuna can; I’m Seo-A.”
“I told you not to come near me…”
A step closer.
Just standing still isn’t a solution.
There are no other options.
“I’ll save you, for sure.”
Somehow.
In fact, just knowing Seo-A is alive is a blessing.
Let’s be thankful for her being alive and look for hope.
“Ha, ah, I know who you are.”
Seo-A retreats a step and speaks.
“You’re a researcher, right? You’re planning to take me back again, aren’t you?”
“No.”
“Shut up. Just the fact that you’re breathing is the problem. You shouldn’t even be breathing. If someone like you is alive, the air gets dirty. Do you understand? Speaking itself is a sin. If you disappear, the world will be clean.”
Unbelievable rage erupts.
It’s the first time Seo-A has been this angry.
“It’s all your fault. It’s not me. The monster is you, not me—”
Crash!
Seo-A stumbles back and trips over something.
She tries to get up somehow but fails.
It seems her clothes are caught on something.
She can’t escape.
Seo-A slowly lifts her head, her expression filled with fear.
She really can’t escape.
“Ahhh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I was wrong, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“No.”
Don’t say sorry.
“W-well, it’s my fault for cursing at you and attacking. You want to fix me, right? I’m the bad person that needs fixing… I’m really sorry.”
“No…”
For Han Si-Hoo watching, it’s a desire to die.
What has Seo-A gone through?
Who on earth did what to her?
No matter how many times he asks that, there’s no one to answer.
“Just tell me what you want… I’ll do anything since I was wrong… Should I cut off a finger? Should I close my eyes? What should I do? Hehe…”
“……”
“Ahhhh, it’s because I moved that you’re angry, right? I won’t move again… No, I can stay still… I can even stop breathing if that’s a problem… I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
But now, she doesn’t get angry at Han Si-Hoo’s approach.
Han Si-Hoo gets closer.
Close enough to touch with a hand outstretched.
Seeing a childhood friend show a submissive attitude toward him feels strange.
To not recognize him while being soaked in medicine.
To fail at holding her breath.
To try to pull back in a moment of reaching out just to have her clothes caught on something, preventing movement.
There’s nothing he can say.
It’s vivid that he’s only causing wounds instead of providing help.
But still, he reaches out again.
His hand is covered in blood.
Both Han Si-Hoo and Yoo Seo-A are wounded.
“Let’s go home.”
Seems like we’ve come too far.
It’s time to go home.