I Accidentally Got Isekai'd To Teyvat!

Alright, here's the thing. When you realize you're stuck in a time loop after eating mystery cake and being tongue-flicked by your pet lizard for the tenth time, you start to wonder if this is karma, fate, or just really bad writing from the universe, or maybe the Developers with weird kinks.

We stepped out of the tavern, bellies full and brains only slightly fried from déjà vu. The sun was still shining like it hadn't realized we were spiraling into metaphysical nonsense.

"So... how exactly do we escape this loop again?" I asked, stretching my arms with all the grace of a soggy pancake. "Asking for a friend. A very confused, emotionally unstable friend."

Lumine rolled her eyes so hard I think I heard them click. "I swear, even though you know a lot of things, you're useless most of the time. You always forget. Or get distracted."

"I do not get distracted!" I declared proudly.

Then immediately tripped over a rock because I was busy watching Greg lick a signpost.

Flick.

Greg didn't even hesitate.

"Betrayal!" I cried, holding my forehead.

Paimon floated down with a tired groan. "Paimon is so done with you..."

"Same," Lumine muttered.

"Wow, tough crowd today," I mumbled, brushing off my pride. "Greg, you could've warned me, you little cold-blooded backstabber."

Greg blinked innocently. That smug little menace.

We already knew we were in a loop—that was old news. But what I didn't realize until now was just how many times we had looped. I had chalked up the deja vu and repetitive Greg flicks to, well, Greg being Greg. But no. We weren't just ankle-deep in this nonsense—we were swimming in it. Drowning, actually. With style.

Lumine sighed. "We need to get serious. No more distractions."

"Define distractions," I said. "Because I'm fairly sure Greg is plotting my assassination with that tail flick of his."

As we walked down the street—me pouting, Lumine pretending she didn't know me, and Greg plotting his next flick—Paimon pointed toward a nearby bench.

"Hey, Dunyarzad is sitting by herself over there..."

Sure enough, our favorite festival girl was chilling on a bench, looking like the personification of 'I'm tired but still polite.'

"What a coincidence!" Paimon floated closer. "Dunyarzad! We meet again! Uh... why are you sitting here all alone?"

Dunyarzad looked up with a soft smile. "Oh, I ran into some kidnappers just now, but thankfully, Dehya came to my rescue. I started feeling unwell afterward, so I sat down here."

"Kidnappers?!" Paimon shrieked. "Oh my goodness! Are you hurt?"

"I'm okay. Dehya's arm got scratched, but it's nothing serious."

"Phew... That's a relief. But Dunyarzad, you seem kind of down today... It's the Sabzeruz Festival, and you've been looking forward to it so much!"

I blinked. "Kidnappers?"

Then it hit me like a Hydro Slime to the face.

My hand instinctively flew to my mouth. "Oh no. Oh no no no. We're in far too deep..."

Lumine's eyes sharpened. "What is it?"

"The radish," I whispered dramatically.

Paimon tilted her head. "The what now?"

"THE RADISH!" I shouted. "It's already starting! The loop's repeating—just like last time! I should've realized when Greg flicked me like that. That was his loop flick!"

Lumine facepalmed. "This is what I have to work with."

I turned to her with the urgency of someone who just realized they accidentally restarted the entire story. "We need to find the radish! Now!"

Her brows furrowed. "Oh—you mean—"

I nodded. "Yes. The thing. The moment. The Archon. Dendro-style. Lesser Lord Kusanali. We have to break the cycle before we end up eating that awful cake again."

Lumine sighed but nodded back. "Let's try to end this loop. Fast."

Paimon crossed her arms. "You realize this is all because you took too long to connect the dots, right?"

"Rude but fair," I said. "I'll take full responsibility by dramatically leading us into victory. Probably."

I crouched slightly and pointed at Dunyarzad like I was directing an action movie. "Hey, can you still move, pretty princess?"

Dunyarzad blinked, a little surprised by the nickname, but then smiled softly. "I think I can."

"Good," I said, standing up like a man on a mission. "We're going to the Grand Bazaar Theater. Right now. Operation: Radish Reboot is a go."

Paimon blinked. "That is not a good code name."

"Says the emergency snack fairy. Let's move!"

Lumine sighed. "Let's just go before he names another vegetable."

And just like that, we were back in action—me, Lumine, Paimon, Greg, and a slightly confused Dunyarzad.

The loop was alive.

But so were we.

For now.

And I had a feeling Greg was about to flick us into another revelation.

Cue dramatic montage music... and maybe some radishes.

***

Alright, so here's the thing. I've lost track of how many times we've looped. Five? Ten? A baker's dozen? Honestly, at this point, I've probably gotten into a fistfight with that Akademiya geezer Azar so many times, I should start charging rent in his nightmares.

And let me tell you... worth it. Every. Single. Time.

We arrived at the Grand Bazaar. Again. And as expected, surprise surprise, the Akademiya buzzkills were already there, preparing to rain on everyone's glitter-filled parade.

"I've looped at least a dozen times now," I muttered, cracking my knuckles. "And this part right here... this part's my favorite."

Paimon floated beside me, squinting at the gathering crowd. "Wait, again? You mean this scene too?"

"Yep," I said. "Old fart with superiority complex appears, yells at Nilou, then gets his soul drop-kicked into next week by yours truly. Rinse, repeat, re-flicked by Greg. It's practically a tradition now."

Greg blinked. I could see it in his eyes: pure approval. Or maybe hunger. Hard to tell.

Lumine raised a brow. "You're actually proud of this, aren't you?"

"Lumine," I said solemnly, placing a hand over my heart, "I have avenged Little Radish multiple times. And I will do it again. For Sumeru. For justice. For dance."

Paimon blinked at me. "You're turning into a dramatic Archon-simp."

"Correction: I'm a dramatic loop-aware Archon-simp. There's nuance."

And lo, the scene unfolded once more: Nilou getting berated by a scholar lady who looked like she hadn't danced in her life, and then Azar descending from on high to be the parade pooper of the century.

But I was ready.

Insert beatdown.

Insert glorious chaos.

Insert my foot metaphorically (and almost literally) introducing itself to Azar's pretentious backside.

The festival kicked off after that. Glitter, music, snacks, confused tourists wondering why I was flexing on a passed-out Akademiya dude. You know, the usual.

Then came the real highlight of the loop:

Nilou's lap.

I don't know what kind of karma I earned or what Divine Favor I unintentionally bribed, but falling asleep on her lap was the single most peaceful moment I'd experienced in any universe, timeline, or domain. 10/10 would loop for this again. And again.

Alas, peace is temporary, chaos is forever.

We were back in our room that night, sitting around, pondering existence like time-looped philosophers.

Paimon floated over, arms crossed. "We still don't know if we actually did something different to break the loop."

I slumped against the wall, arms splayed. "Well, we did cause more chaos than usual. Maybe that tipped the scale?"

Lumine tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Let's see what happens tomorrow. For now, let's rest."

"Agreed," I yawned. "But I swear, if I hear that creepy robot voice again—"

Beep.

"NOPE. THERE IT IS."

??? : "...Observing a modest drop in the output of Jnana Energy, but values still remain within normal parameters."

??? : "Continue to monitor for variances in the data, and find the cause as soon as possible."

Lumine's eyes darkened. She looked at me and muttered, "It's not over yet."

And the next morning... well...

Morning light filtered into the room like that one responsible adult friend trying to wake you up for school.

I groaned.

"Mmm... what a cozy bed," I mumbled as I stretched like a sleep-deprived starfish. "Ten out of ten. Buying one for the teapot. And another for Greg. So he stops sleeping on my face. Freaking cold-blooded menace."

Greg, already awake and licking a curtain like it owed him money, gave me an innocent blink. The tiny traitor.

"Maybe you should buy one for Paimon too," Lumine said from the corner, tying her hair.

"Paimon prefers floating, thank you very much," Paimon replied, puffing her cheeks. "Beds are for people who snore."

"Hey! That was one time, and I was dreaming about dodging Hilichurl axes, okay?" I said.

Paimon floated up midair and stretched, rubbing her eyes with her little fists. "Did we oversleep? We should probably meet up with Dunyarzad. She's probably been waiting forever!"

I blinked slowly, still in a semi-dream state. "Dunyarzad... Right, the polite one. The one who doesn't threaten me with her blade when I breathe too loud. Got it."

Lumine was already halfway to the door, brushing her hair back. "Come on, you two. Let's not keep her waiting."

"Ugh, responsibility," I grunted. "Fine. But I'm taking another fruit on the way out. This place got Sunsettias? No? That's discrimination."

We strolled out into the warm Sumeru sunlight and made our way through the vibrant streets. The city was already buzzing with life. Music, laughter, weird hats—you know, the usual. I was still adjusting to the sunlight when I heard a familiar voice.

"Shigeru, Lumine, Paimon! I've been waiting for you three!" Dunyarzad greeted us with a bright smile.

"Good morning, Dunyarzad!" Paimon said, stretching with a sheepish grin. "We must've overslept a little bit, hehe."

"Not at all," she assured us. "I arrived early. Today is finally here! I must cherish every moment as if it were gold."

"You've worked so hard for this day," Lumine smiled. "You should enjoy it to the fullest."

"You know it! Although... I had a bit of trouble falling asleep last night. I'm hoping my body won't be too much of an issue today."

"Let's hope the only thing that hurts today is my wallet," I said.

We walked toward Vihar, and I noticed Lumine had gone quiet.

I leaned in. "Hey, what's up?"

"This is all too familiar," she whispered.

My heart dropped.

I covered my mouth with a hand. "We're still in the Sashimi."

Lumine deadpanned. "Samsara."

"Whatever," I muttered. "Still fishy."

Moving on—children chanting, "Farris! Farris!"

A man with a weird hat barked orders. "Atten-tion! Fall into formation if you want Yalda Candies!"

"Knight of Sugar Distribution," I mumbled. "Living the dream."

"Miss Dunyarzad!" the kids beamed.

"Farris, the Knight of Flowers," Dunyarzad explained. "A popular icon for children."

"Fitting," I muttered. "The hat says 'tax fraud,' but the kids love him."

Farris handed us candy boxes. "Pick a number between one and five!"

Paimon gasped. "Lumine, help me pick one!"

Lumine nodded. "Number four."

Sunsettia flavor.

"See? She's got luck stats maxed," I said. "Also probably cheats."

Then she started listing them.

"One is Lizard Tail. Two is Harra Fruit. Three is Lavender Melon. Five is Onikabuto."

Paimon blinked. "Wait... what?"

Vihar's eyes widened. "How... how did you know?!"

Paimon floated up. "What?! She was right?!"

"Mind reading? Magic? Do you have X-ray eyes?!"

Paimon: "When did you get superpowers, Lumine?!"

I wasn't paying attention. Because something in my gut twisted.

She's here.

I scanned the area.

And then I saw her.

A tiny figure. Quiet. Observing.

I grinned.

"Found ya, Little Radish."

The second I locked eyes with her—tiny, cute, suspiciously radish-like—I knew.

"Found her," I whispered, grinning like a man who's just discovered unlimited pudding. I turned to Lumine and Paimon dramatically, striking a pose I was 90% sure made me look cool. "Little Radish acquired. Follow me!"

Paimon blinked. "Wait, 'Radish' as in the Dendro Archon? Or are you chasing produce now?"

"Both," I said, already bolting forward. "All roads lead to wisdom—and sometimes salad."

We sprinted through the marketplace like maniacs chasing a giant sale sign. Lumine kept pace, her eyes sharp. Paimon flailed behind us like a floating emergency balloon.

"Slow down! Paimon doesn't have legs, you know!"

"Get faster then! Upgrade those wings! Or drink some Red Bull!"

We skidded to a stop near a quiet alley where the little girl had gone. Inside, Dunyarzad was lying on a bed, just like in the loops before.

Paimon gasped. "Dunyarzad?! What's going on—why are you here?!"

Then, from the corner, that voice.

"It seems you're highly aware that this isn't your first Sabzeruz Festival... especially you."

I turned. Nahida—cute, tiny, deadly smart. Like a sentient marshmallow with divine authority.

"Heyya, Little Radish," I said with a grin. "Is it time yet?"

She chuckled, soft and knowing. "Sure. Here it is."

She handed me a Knowledge Capsule.

Paimon floated closer, eyes wide. "A Knowledge Capsule?! Where did you get it...? What's inside?"

I smirked. "Shush, Emergency Food. Don't question cuteness. Let's use it together. This has all our memories from the previous loops."

Lumine leaned in, eyes wary. "You mean—everything?"

I nodded. "Every detour. Every failure. Every spicy candy-induced breakdown."

And then—bam.

A surge of memories hit like a Vision Hunt Decree to the brain.

Flashes of our attempts, one after another. Trying to escape. Trying to cheat the system. Watching the same festival play out. Eating charcoal-baked cake. Watching Nilou perform. Punching Azar repeatedly—which, not gonna lie, made for a great montage.

I actually cackled at one of the scenes. "That one time I tried to throw Azar off the stage while screaming 'IT'S SAMSARIN' TIME!' Still one of my finest moments."

Paimon looked slightly dizzy. "Paimon's brain... is soup now."

Lumine blinked slowly. "So many loops... and none of it worked. what do we do now?" Lumine asked.

I looked at Nahida, who smiled at me with that expression that said she definitely knew more than she was letting on.

"Alright," I said, cracking my knuckles, Greg flexing his nonexistent biceps in sync. "Since you probably know what I'm about to ask... how do we escape the loop, Little Nahida?"

She tilted her head. "You already hold the answer. But are you ready to see it through... to save everyone?"

I blinked.

Then grinned.

"Bring it on. I've got snacks, a floating emergency ration, a battle-blondie, and a lizard with unresolved anger issues. We're ready."

Greg licked my cheek. Dramatically. For emphasis.

And just like that... the real mission began.

___________________

End of Chapter 102

Quests Completed:

*Uncover the truth behind the never-ending Sabzeruz Festival.

*Successfully uppercut Azar across multiple timelines. Therapeutic.

*Correctly guess all candy box contents. Confirm your party's awakening to the loop.

*Use the memory-infused Knowledge Capsule provided by Nahida.

*Nap on Nilou's lap in at least 15 timelines. Maximum softness achieved.

*Find Nahida before the loop resets again.

Rewards:

*Knowledge Capsule: "Loop Memories" (Stores every memory from previous Samsara timelines. Side effect: mild headache and overwhelming emotional flashbacks.)

*Azar's Dignity (x -27)² x=4

*Nilou's Lap Pillow Buff (+15 Comfort, +10 Motivation, +∞ Simp Energy Duration: Until next loop or emotional breakdown.)

*Nahida's "Memory Leak" Blessing (Passive)

*Relationship Boost: Dunyarzad (+20 Fondness. +100 Concern for your mental stability.)

*Loop-Stopping Firecracker

*Charcoal-Baked Ajilenakh Cake Recipe (Unwanted) 

*+ 0.25Primogem Fragment (Not enough to buy anything. But hey—it sparkles.)