SWNOVELXO Chapter 3
Chapter 3 – How to Live Like a Master’s Degree Holder (2)
—–CROW—–
“I’ve come to the conclusion that every professor in this world is motherless.”
I muttered, downing the shitty, sheep-piss-tasting beer in my regular bar, a place more familiar than the local mart.
“Are you fucking insane?! Professors come to this bar too!”
At my heartfelt statement, my fellow research student, sitting at the same table, turned pale and kicked me under the table.
“Ow!! You fucking bitch!! If you’re a scholar, use your words!”
“Fuck that. You want me to get beheaded by the professors for letting a fellow slave run his mouth?”
My heart ached as I received a cold glare while in pain.
We’ve been through three years of the professors’ shit together, but I guess I still look like a slave to her.
“Fucking tomboy bitch who makes Vikings look tame… She’ll go to Valhalla instead of Mag Mell when she dies…”
“You wanna die?”
Glare—.
My slave (graduate student) colleague, who was nervously glaring at me and chugging down what seemed to be watered-down Cass beer. My friend, Dana, with her purple, frizzy hair that resembled dog fur, was truly impressive.
She’s technically a girl, but after three years of slaving away in the same lab, gender becomes meaningless among graduate students. She felt like a fellow human with boobs.
Is this what it’s like to have an older sister? She’s only a year older than me, and I don’t see her as a woman, so it’s probably similar.
“No, but seriously, listen. If you’re at the level of becoming a professor, you must be pretty old, right? Then their parents must all be dead by now, right? So they just live however they want, like they have maxed out their parental insult resistance, you know?”
“I get how you feel, but if you keep talking shit, I’m leaving.”
“Oh, please. Don’t abandon… a poor former slave who’s now a master…”
“Then shut the fuck up.”
Dana sighed and flicked a shelled bean, similar to a pea, at my forehead. The cheap bar snack bounced off my head and fell onto the table.
I shed tears of sorrow at the sight of the bean plummeting to the ground, just like my degree and career.
“Fuck… I’m a master. I’m a master…”
“Let’s be accurate. You’re a bronze-ranked master.”
“You fucking bitch…”
It had been a week since that rotten professor, Yernara, stole the culmination of my efforts over the past three years.
That blue-haired fucking elf bitch, who had flown off to a university in another country, copied my paper in her own handwriting and submitted it under her name before leaving.
And that bitch’s paper (which was actually my masterpiece in disguise) caused a huge stir in the academic world.
“Did you see Professor Gracier’s paper that she submitted this time?”
“Of course, I read it! It’s been a while since I’ve spent the night rummaging through my study. My god, to think that Elven might not be a derivative of Runes! What a revolutionary idea and hypothesis!”
“Right? I haven’t felt this excited since I was a kid listening to the tales of ancient heroes!”
“If this hypothesis is proven, won’t she win the Heavenly Wing Award this time?”
“Of course! No one will be able to refute it!”
The Heavenly Wing Award was roughly the equivalent of a post-Nobel Prize in this world.
Because this was a world where the cutting edge of information technology was carrier pigeons and mounted messengers, it didn’t have the same impact as the Nobel Prize, but there was no denying that it was the highest honor in the field of archaeology.
“Motherfucker.”
The more I thought about it, the more unfair it felt. I was so upset that tears poured out like a spigot had been opened.
The bitch who stole my paper was nominated for a Nobel Prize for it? And the thesis I hastily submitted was met with a “Well, this is something” from the examiners.
-Strong influence from former thesis advisor Yernara Gracier, but sufficient completion for a graduate-level thesis.
-Focus on the quality of the paper rather than embellishments.
-Lack of originality, as it follows existing research and summaries.
-For the above reasons, this scholar is awarded a bronze-ranked master’s degree.
-Asherah Cynthia, Head of the Thesis System Administration.
Can you believe this? Look at the way these fuckers talk.
What? Strong influence from whom? Of course it looks similar, you bastard, because that elf bitch stole the remaining materials after taking mine!
Originality, my ass. The paper you guys are going “Wow, this is amazing” about is my originality, so who are you calling unoriginal?
Anyway, as expected of people from a rank-obsessed culture, they were experts at pissing people off with just a few lines of text.
To make a pure-blooded Korean, Kang Buk-ho, known for his lineage of parental insults, froth at the mouth with just one sheet of A4 paper. Truly, educated people are different.
“Motherfucker. This beer tastes like shit!”
Since things had come to this, it was no wonder that I had passed out for two days straight from the shock and, upon waking up, skipped meals and came straight for a drink.
“Hehe. Life is shit. Being good is fucking pointless.”
“…Hey, don’t be so pessimistic. Originally, the average degree a foreign scholar gets from a thesis is a bronze-ranked master’s.”
“Are you trying to piss me off?”
I had initially expected a silver-ranked master’s degree, to be honest.
Some people might wonder why I’m making such a fuss when I only dropped from silver to bronze.
But as I said, people in this world are all about tiers.
Even among masters, bronze and silver were treated differently. It’s only one rank difference? If that’s the case, then there’s only one diploma difference between a college graduate and a high school graduate. There’s also only one rank difference between a high school student barely making it into Diamond and a pro gamer who’s reached Challenger.
To put it simply, it takes two years to go from a bronze-ranked master’s to a silver-ranked one.
What kind of game takes two years to get out of bronze, fuck?
Honestly, it was clear that they threw me the master’s degree after seeing my brilliant list of certifications, thinking, “Alright, just take this and get lost.”
“Ha. Should I just fucking kill myself?”
I cursed the world and poured the piss-colored beer, which looked like it was made from malnourished wheat, into my mouth.
I couldn’t even tell anyone that my paper had been plagiarized.
That bitch Yernara had been in the academic world for 50 years, apparently. How could a former slave with no degree or achievements claim plagiarism against a woman who had spent twice my lifetime in the field of archaeology?
Besides, was that paper just any paper?
My paper was a fucking masterpiece that made even the most renowned scholars go “Whoa” and contort their bodies. It was a masterpiece that no 20-something lab slave could possibly write.
If I claimed that such a paper was mine, I would be ostracized by the academic community for being an কোথাকার বিদেশি যে জানে না তার জায়গা কোথায়.
As a result, the only person I could comfortably complain to about this was the purple-haired girl in front of me.
“You were insulting my hair in your head just now, weren’t you?”
“Caught me.”
The ever-perceptive Dana clicked her tongue and rested her chin on her hand.
“See? People with straight hair should all die.”
“Ah, I agree with that. I’ll shave my head, so just take down one straight-haired elf for me.”
“Oh, wow. This guy’s really lost it.”
Dana filled my glass with beer, looking pitiful. It was just a refill of that tasteless alcohol, but it must have been her way of showing concern.
“Dana, you’re a smart and good person for a graduate student…!”
“Shut up before I smash your head with this beer glass. …Tsk. I’ll treat you today, so order some roasted chicken or something.”
She spoke bluntly. But for me, just having her believe me was enough to make me tear up.
What if our positions were reversed?
Let’s say I got a doctorate with this paper.
But then Dana, who had a gold-ranked master’s, said, “Yernara stole the paper I was going to use to get my doctorate!” Would I have believed her?
Probably not easily.
I would have just thought, “What the fuck is she talking about?”
Yernara’s acting was that good. Even I never imagined that she would run off with my paper.
“Thank you for believing me. If it weren’t for you, Dana, I would have hanged myself already.”
“…That’s why I’m believing you. Besides, it’s true that you wouldn’t have thrown away the paper you worked so hard on to pick a fight with Professor Yernara that you couldn’t win.”
“I love you, Dana.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, you bastard.”
Dana chuckled and flicked a pea at me.
***
“So? What are you going to do now?”
It was when we had finished eating a chicken that was only slightly better than a chick and were full. Dana, who had been drinking, asked.
“You can stay at the university even with a bronze-ranked master’s. Well, if you don’t have anything else to do, just stay in the archaeology department. Since you started, you should get a doctorate. It would be a waste not to.”
“You’re already talking like a professor.”
How could she be so cruel? Telling a former slave who got demoted because his paper was stolen to continue being a slave.
Dana paused for a moment and then chuckled.
“I can’t be the only one suffering. If you leave, I’ll have to do your share of the work, too.”
“They’ll hire someone new if there’s a shortage.”
“Where are they going to find someone as competent as you?”
“Don’t try to hold me back by pretending to compliment me.”
“Oops, I’m caught. You’re quick-witted, aren’t you?”
“Nah~ There are plenty of people who can do it without me~ The lab won’t collapse~”
“Yeah~ The lab will collapse if you leave~ Don’t go~”
We laughed and clinked our glasses together.
“Ah, so what are you really going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you’re staying here, help me with my paper. I’ve accumulated enough achievements, so I’m thinking of aiming for a doctorate. I’ll put your name on the paper, too. Sounds good, right?”
“You’re really persistent, aren’t you?”
It was the first time I had ever been appealed to so much by the opposite sex.
It should have been exciting, but since we had already suffered together for three years, she seemed more like a comrade-in-arms than a woman, which was strange.
It’s not that Dana was unattractive.
But fuck, we spent five days a week sitting at our desks staring at letters or being chased by monsters in ruins, screaming “Eek!” There’s no way we’d feel any sexual desire in such a situation.
The three basic human desires are sleep>food>sex. If your dick still reacts when you’re so tired that you’re about to die, you really need to go to the hospital. It means your brain is being controlled by your dick!!
“I’ve actually already decided on my path.”
I put down my glass and stated my original plan.
“I’m going to become an adventurer. I’m going to Sardigas in the west.”
“…What?! An adventurer?!”
Dana looked as surprised as a student teacher who heard that a student from an all-boys high school she was in charge of was going to Ewha Womans University.
“Are you out of your mind?! Why an adventurer all of a sudden?!”
I understood why she was so dumbfounded.
In this world, the archaeology department was roughly equivalent to the space engineering department on Earth. It was promising, practical, and easy to make a living from.
That’s because in this world, there was a history of great ancient civilizations declining due to wars or disasters.
Like in old online games, items with names that include “ancient” or “primeval” were often more technologically advanced than modern items. Fucking Diablo.
“Hey, calm down and think again! Let’s say you become an adventurer. Do you think you’ll find some artifacts in ruins and become a successful adventurer?!”
“No, not really…”
Anyway, there was a huge gap between the lost ‘ancient civilizations’ and the present that was hard to fathom. The ‘artifacts’ Dana mentioned were an example of this.
To give you an idea of how big the gap was, if time travel were invented 500 years from now and people went back in time, a primitive man’s ancient stone-tipped spear could probably shoot down a spaceship.
If you’re quick-witted, you probably already know why the field of archaeology is respected in this world, even without me saying it.
Archaeology is the field of deciphering the languages of ancient civilizations, learning about their history, and recovering artifacts and OOPArts.
In other words, archaeology in this world was like the space industry. It was especially so because the research results could also enhance technological and military power.
In fact, even the state kept a close eye on it and sponsored research.
But then a guy who was as capable as a current professor in such a field suddenly quit his job and said he was going to the countryside to start a business. If you didn’t try to stop him, you weren’t a friend.
“It’s faster to get results by working in the field. You can get a field archaeologist certification from the academy if you apply.”
“No, but still…”
A field archaeologist was, as the name suggested, an archaeologist who ‘worked with their body.’
Generally, there were three types of professional archaeologists.
There were those who did their own research but were dispatched by the state when ruins were discovered (state contractors).
There were those who hired people to explore ruins or remote areas and received the results they brought back to research (independent researchers).
And there were those who directly explored ruins, smashing monster heads like fucking macho men (field explorers).
The type of archaeologist I, a man steeped in the machismo of this world, aimed to be was a field explorer, or ‘field’ archaeologist for short.
“That’s different. Those people are adventurers who obtained an archaeology degree. You’re clearly the scholarly type! Even if you messed up your degree, why all of a sudden…”
Dana stopped mid-sentence and looked surprised as if she had realized something.
“Wait, no way. Did you submit your thesis this year without preparing for another year because you wanted to become an adventurer?!”
“Yep.”
“…Wow. I knew you were a crazy bastard, but I didn’t know you were this crazy.”
Dana slumped down as if she had lost her mind.
That’s right. I didn’t throw away my paper because my mental state was shattered.
I just obtained my degree with a graduate-level paper in order to become a formal archaeologist as soon as possible.
The reason I stayed at this university in the first place was to become a fucking awesome intellectual adventurer!
—–CROW—–