How to Enjoy a Common Sense-Altering World

Chapter 1: An Unexpected Morning

It's strange. I'm sure I closed the blackout curtains. Sunlight pours through my eyelids. Unable to bear it any longer, I open my eyes to see the curtains half-open. Did I make a mistake? Or did my mother sneak in and open them? I try to guess with my groggy mind.

'Whatever, it doesn't matter.'

I soon decide it's not worth worrying about and reach for my phone. Since I'm up, I might as well check the news. I wonder what happened today. Did the police get caught drunk driving? Or was a minor caught committing a crime? With twisted expectations, I open YouTube.

I frown at the parade of pink adult ads. 'YouTube bastards, how many ads did you put in this time?' Even as I keep scrolling down, the ads don't stop. It's as if they're determined to make money - everything is plastered with adult product ads. How much money do they need to make to do this?

As I continue scrolling to find watchable videos, I suddenly feel something odd and scroll back up. 'No way...'

I go back to the first page and take a closer look. They're definitely adult product ads. But not ads directly commissioned by YouTube. They're all ads published in review format by individuals who actually used the products. In other words, most of the videos I had been skipping as ads were actually uploaded by individuals.

'Has the world gone mad?'

It's not a joke - I seriously wonder if that's the case. It's that bad.

Not just one or two, but hundreds, thousands of people have all uploaded adult product review videos. Is this even possible on YouTube, even with algorithm manipulation? Maybe it's just the thumbnails. The actual videos might be innocent. Out of curiosity, I end up clicking on a video to check.

"Today I'll be introducing you to..."

"Ta-da! It's a dildo modeled after Alexander the Great's penis!"

But it wasn't just thumbnail bait. It was an actual video reviewing adult products. Even the reviewer's outfit was outrageous. While claiming to be embarrassed, she wore an outfit that could only be seen in manga, with exaggerated proportions. I was even amazed at how she maintained such an unrealistic face shape.

'Doesn't this violate guidelines?'

I can understand adult product reviews. They're not actually showing sex or obscene acts. But the reviewer's outfit crossed the line. It's at a level where YouTube should have already taken action. But the video was uploaded 3 months ago. It should have been taken down by now if there were violations. Yet the video is still up on YouTube.

Has the world gone crazy? Or have I gone crazy?

As I ponder with my aching head, the woman in the video starts to moan.

"Now I'll demonstrate how to use it."

'Demonstrate?'

I focus on the video again at the woman's voice. She sits on a dildo attached to the floor. Then she slowly spreads her legs and lowers her hips.

"Ahhh!"

She takes in the huge dildo in one go. It only went in halfway due to its large size. But she continues to lower herself carefully.

"Ohhh!"

Pssh! Pssh!

She squirts several times in succession. The floor is already soaked and her face is flushed red.

Shouldn't she stop now? I was about to send a concerned look to the woman in the video when...

"Ah!"

Her hand slips as she tries to support herself. The giant dildo, which was difficult to take in even with preparation, sinks in to the base. The tip of the dildo protrudes above her navel.

"Ohhhh! Ohhh!"

Pssh! Pssh! Shuuuu.

The woman, caught off guard, loses consciousness. A fountain of fluids gushes out between her legs along with the squirting.

It seems her insides loosened up while she was unconscious. Sobbing and moaning, the video finally ends.

I put down my phone, my face pitch black. 'What did I just watch? Was I dreaming?' I check with my own two eyes. The sight of a woman reviewing a dildo and masturbating. This isn't the kind of video that's normally uploaded to YouTube. Even if it was uploaded, it would be on adult video sites like PornHub.

'What happened while I was locked up at home?'

It's been almost a year since I became a hikikomori. I wonder what's been going on in the world while I've been cooped up at home. I should probably go outside after a long time.

'But first...'

My dick is rock hard beneath my pants. I should take care of this first before going out. I quickly take off my pants and grab my throbbing cock. I think of the woman who reviewed the dildo earlier.

It wasn't until 7 rounds later that I left the house. Could I really go 7 rounds? No, I'm not that inferior. At most I could usually manage 3 rounds. Even after 3 rounds, it was hard to move a finger. But now?

'That's strange... I don't feel tired at all.'

Even after 7 rounds, I still feel energetic. Even now, I feel like I could keep going. A hikikomori who's been shut in for a year, with no exercise - how can I be this healthy? It doesn't make sense. The rumors about protein in semen seem more believable.

'Being healthy isn't a bad thing, but this is too much.'

I sigh and shake my head. My erect penis is still sticking out proudly. My dick hasn't gone down even after 7 rounds. Isn't this too healthy? Usually it would be satisfied and go down after 2 rounds. But it's still rock hard and throbbing.

'Could this be a disease?'

No matter how I think about it, this must be a disease. What if it becomes necrotic and has to be amputated? Unable to bear the anxiety and impatience any longer, I finally arrive at a urology clinic.

'Is this really a urology clinic?'

But the place I arrived at seemed more like a sleazy establishment than a urology clinic. Gravure magazines showing skin are displayed at the entrance. Condoms are piled up in the corner like a mountain. And the nurse is wearing an obscene outfit like sexy cosplay.

Her cleavage is on full display, with her nipples clearly visible through the thin bra made of strings. Her skirt is so short her buttocks are completely exposed. Her panties are pulled aside so you can even see inside.

Just looking at her provocative outfit makes me hard. But unlike her outfit, her expression is calm.

"Mr. Kim Jinwoo, what brings you here today?"

"Well, for treatment..."

"I see. Please go right into Exam Room 1."

Thankfully there were no other patients, so I was immediately guided into the exam room. I let out a sigh as I entered, following her directions.

'A, a woman?'

I never dreamed there would be a female doctor at a urology clinic of all places. Moreover, she was a young, beautiful doctor wearing only a lab coat over her naked body. The doctor, brazenly displaying her nipples and genitals, slowly opened her mouth.

"You're Kim Jinwoo, correct? What seems to be the problem?"

"W-well..."

I can't bring myself to say it. How can I tell a woman about an issue I'd hesitate to tell even another man? But I have to say it. Saving my dick is more important than embarrassment. I steel my resolve and speak in a trembling voice.

"M-my erection won't go down..."

"..."

"..."

A heavy silence falls. The doctor's gaze is fixed on my lower body. More precisely, on my crotch. Her intense stare makes my face burn hot. Isn't she staring too blatantly, even for a doctor?

How much time passed in this embarrassing moment? The doctor, who had been pondering, seems to have reached a conclusion and opens her mouth.

"Then let's examine you first."

"Why are you taking off my pants?!"

"This is also for the examination! Don't resist!"

Thwack! As my pants come down, my dick springs out forcefully.

My dick, which had been constrained by my pants, whips out like a rod and smacks the doctor in the nose. Unable to dodge in time, the doctor's nose starts bleeding. But the nosebleed doesn't seem to concern the doctor.

"A dick... a dick I haven't seen in so long... and it's an A-grade dick too..."

The doctor approaches, licking her lips. There's no trace of reason left in her eyes. Her breathing is rough and ragged. The doctor is in exactly that state right now. She starts sniffing my dick, letting out coarse breaths.

"Sniff! Ahh... Uuuuh!"

Pshuuk! Pshuk!

As she takes a deep breath, her eyes roll back and she squirts forcefully from between her legs. Did she just cum from smelling my dick? This doctor seems to have gone crazier than I thought.

Just as I was about to push the crazy doctor away and run, soft arms wrap around me from behind.

"You can't leave. Not in the middle of your examination."

"Let go of me. Nurse Kim! I'll give you a big bonus later!"

I'm caught by the nurse who had snuck up behind me at some point. So the softness I feel behind me now - could it be the nurse's breasts I saw earlier? The nurse's plump breasts have changed shape, molding to my back as she clings tightly.

Because of that, I forget my thoughts of escape and find myself captivated by her breasts without realizing it. Meanwhile, the doctor's breathing reaches my dick.

Her breath tickles with each exhale, making my dick twitch as if greeting a woman. It slaps against the doctor's face repeatedly, leaving red marks.

"Ahh... dick... smelly, sweaty dick... Chu-rup."

"Ungh!"

An electric current runs through my body as her soft tongue touches my glans. I almost cum right then and there. It's just her tongue touching me, but should it feel this good? There was no one left to answer my doubts.

The doctor, already entranced by my dick, starts licking it in earnest.

"Chu-rup, delicious. I want to lick it forever, chu-rup."

"Ahh.... Hnngh!"

As expected of a doctor. She licks meticulously from the base to just under the glans. I can't help but thrust my hips at the doctor's technique...

The precum dripping from the tip of my glans leaves wet marks on the doctor's breasts. The doctor opens her mouth wide again, swallowing my saliva.

"Then I'll begin the final examination. Hup!"

"!"

She swallows it to the base in one go. As it hits the back of her throat and goes down her esophagus, my back arches at the pleasure I've never felt before.

"Ungh!"

Slurp slurp slurp slurp!

I can barely hold back my moans at the continued deep throat fellatio. The doctor devours my dick ravenously, as if starved for days. Not only does she suck skillfully, but she also stimulates the sensitive spots with her tongue each time my dick touches it.

But I can't give in in a place like this. To maintain what's left of my male pride, I try to control myself.

"Huu...! Huu...! Huu...!"

"You can't hold back. Adults need to cum properly."

"Kuh!"

Even the nurse who had just been holding me starts to move. She torments my earlobes, whispering obscenely in an ASMR-like voice. I start to lose my mind from the nurse and doctor's joint attack.

Meanwhile, the feeling of ejaculation slowly builds, and the doctor seems to sense it as she increases her pace.

Slurp slurp slurp!

She shakes her head roughly, desperately milking my semen. The result of her desperate plea makes my hips buck.

"I'm cumming!"

"Mmph! Mmm! Mm!"

Spurrrrt! Spurrrrrt! Spurrt! Spurt! Spurrrrt!

My semen shoots forcefully into the doctor's mouth.

The semen that couldn't all be swallowed drips down onto her breasts. Still, the doctor does her best to drink it all. She even sucks out the last drops remaining in my urethra, then shows her clean mouth and burps vulgarly.

"Buuurp!"

"Doctor, you're too polite. Even doing a semen burp."

"It's only proper manners, Nurse Kim."

Their conversation makes my brain feel like it's breaking. What is this? Their casual conversation, as if this whole situation is normal. Just as I was about to flee this bizarre scene, the doctor calls out to me and sits in the chair covered in her fluids.

"Mr. Kim Jinwoo, first of all, there's nothing wrong with your penis."

"What?"

"And you can collect your payment at the front desk on your way out. It was an honor to receive such good semen after so long."

She wipes her philtrum belatedly as she gives the examination results. But the dried nosebleed doesn't come off, leaving flakes on her philtrum.

Still dazed, I head outside. The nurse from the reception desk hands me a wad of cash.

"Here's your payment for the semen. Please come back right away if you have any problems. We'll give you lots of extra service then."

"Ah, yes..."

I leave the urology clinic with the nurse seeing me off. Was I dreaming? Getting my dick sucked and even getting paid for it. But the wad of cash in my hand proves it wasn't a dream.

'This isn't hush money, is it?'

It's equally baffling either way. But not enough to report the nurse and doctor. I wonder if they'll do it again if I visit next time. With a small hope, I step out onto the street.