Hope born of solitus

*

I woke up. My mind clear and serene, almost empty. My common sense and linguistic skills... I see, they are intact. My gaze falls upon the open library propped upon my desk. The first sentence in the open page:

'You live alone. Your parents are working overseas.'

There is no point beating around the bush. I cannot remember who I am or why I'm here. The diary has only explained as much as where my parents were and my current state of solitude. Reasons? Browsing the diary, there didn't seem to be any. I have the common sense that memories didn't clear itself every night like a device clearing storage space. Yet, where has it gone?

The fact that I retained some of my faculties suggests that this is not any naturally occurring amnesia.

2nd page: a point that could never be emphasised enough; do not reveal my amnesiac status. This diary was written by yourself, so please... Have faith in your past self and keep this secret.

Alright. I'll trust in your word... My word. There was no hiding it, between the first and second pages were the remnants of torn pages. Simply seeing the uneven edges of paper betrayed the torment that past me must have went through. Behind were large sections based on each important individual in my life. Arin and Sariel. Beyond that, there were small crumbs of information regarding the others in the class, including the teacher. Useful information that would prevent me from getting found out...

It looks like the information is still being updated, fresh handwriting and ink... Because I keep losing my memories at the end of each day, my handwriting has never improved. Nothing has meaningfully changed, I cannot deduce how far back I've been using this diary, but it looks like. .. I've just been living with it.

... Latest entry: 5th August, year:??

Monsters and magical girls exist. Monsters are called "Traces" and operate beyond human cognition or acuity. Magical girls blend into the general populace, a mimetic cognitive block prevents any related keywords from divulging or being deduced. However, reasons suggest that the nature of this information filter is not material or immaterial, rather it exists as a law of reality. There is absolutely no evidence of its existence other than the numerous failed attempts to reveal the existence of magical girls.

Another phenomenon is the General World Correction Theorem. When Traces are defeated, they fulfill their namesake. They return to an unverifiable metaphysical spaces, leaving nothing behind.

However, the name 'Trace' suggests that they are a part of a bigger whole. When defeated, their powdery nature is reminiscent of siphonophores, an extremely small colonial deep sea species. Individuals part of these species are conjoined together via tissue and could assume the functions of more complex organs when together. A possible explanation is that these 'Traces' were initially part of an original being, something more primordial or maybe even imaginary in nature. A being outside the confines of logic and reality, yet fragmented into these paltry livestock that are reaped by coincidentally awakened magical girls.

That's it on Traces, they are a life threatening existence encountered on 05/08/????. There might be a sort of intuitive warning system in the mind when danger is about to arrive, a sharp blade of anxiety and paranoia that strikes at the heart of the mind, causing one to jump off their classroom seat before a Trace attacks from outside one's view. Do not count on it. Be prudent.

New entry on Sariel: A veteran magical girl, well, one with at least vastly more experience then I ever will. With the constant reset, experience will never carry over. To compare it to a game, it's as if I'll be stuck at level 1 forever whole the difficulty only continues to ramp up. Luckily for me, I have photographic memory to a certain extent to help me out.

Sariel is a serious girl who seemed demure and straight laced in class, however she has a rather loose cannon side to herself as well that she never reveals in front of those she doesn't approve. She has gotten close to you, Lastia. If you happen to forget anything related to our past experiences, an unbridgable rift may open up between us, from her perspective it will be betrayal. I can only apologise for mounting on more work for the next me to do, at the same time please do try your best. For yourself, and for the yous that have come and gone.

I suggest the first thing for you to do... is to ask Sariel for some guidance, at least until you are proficient to deal with Traces on your own. There isn't much of an end goal here, just do your best to survive this irrational world. The diary may have plenty of entries, knowledge sorted and updated in a chronological order. But the world does not follow its own rules. Restrictions imposed on us by reality may be ignored by others.

Sariel has a bit of the cool beauty character, but in actuality she simply dislikes to interact with most people. Only those who she opened up to will see her other characteristics. Her personality, her quirks, they are all precious treasures you shouldn't squander. She wishes to be straightforward and brave, you can watch her tone of voice change when talking to other individuals compared to you and Arin. Please treat her well.

Entry on Arin on the 6th of august: She took me out to play around in the neighbourhood. Eating at a restaurant, playing at an arcade. Relaxing on a park bench. This might be what other people call a date. In the end, it was only because she saw through our confusion. Our confusion with the world, it shouldn't be something seen by others. We shouldn't allow Arin to worry. I do wish we could achieve more, I wish we could soothe Arin's own confusion irrespective of whether we caused it or not.

She is a sweet girl, her graciously shaped little face and big eyes remind me of a puppy sometimes. Her smile shone radiantly like an intense torch illuminating the darkness. Her rough shoulder lengthed curly hair and tomboyish demeanour is an alluring character to contend with. Her outing on the 6th, the memories of such... It's a shame I'll loose them, and you'll never get to experience them.

That's why, treasure each and every moment you have with them, as if it will be your last. Love-- Lastia on the 6th.