Hope born of solitus

*

13th August, Thursday

The 'Lastia' from many days before me had such colourful lives, at least that was the impression I had when I read 'my' diary this morning. It was currently lunchbreak, and nothing out of the ordinary occurred.

It's strange. I'm supposed to be a blank slate, but I still retain my 'common sense'. What felt ordinary or what felt strange, it was all oddly intuitive. My linguistic and motor skills as well, I didn't have to learn how to walk, read or write. It's as if... Right, rather than a normal amnesia which suppresses the most recent memories, it's an amnesia that takes away my past memories all the way up until the present day. Well, using time as a point of reference for amnesia is a needlessly abstract approach anyway, just a throwaway thought as I bit into a piece bread.

Sariel brought it over, saying she had extra. She had a look of pity on her face that she tried to hide... Were all of the previous 'Lastia's skipping lunch? It might be, the last time the financial journal was updated was more than a month ago. I'll have to write something about this down later. On the other hand, my jaw felt accustomed to this sensation, chewing and swallowing quickly. Hopefully that meant that 'I' was at least eating dinner everyday. The fridge must have enough ingredients stocked up for a month.

Feeling relieve from my relative state of healthiness, I shrunk back into my chair as I finished the bread.

"... Do you want more?" (Sariel)

I hadn't noticed, but has she been staring at me this whole time? Surely there is a limit to worrying about others... Moreover... Why was she particularly worried right now? Looking closer, the longer I stared at her, the more her wrist was shaking uncontrollably.

"Uh... Is something wrong...?" (Lastia)

Maybe I was tricked! It wasn't me that had a problem, it was her! I do deeply appreciate the free bread though, so it's my turn to help her!

"... Uhmm... If you have any concerns, you can share them with me if you want! I'll always be here to help you." (Lastia)

I gave reassuring her a try. I have to say, lying through my teeth does hurt my conscious. 'My' life is comparatively short, so I'd at least like to be honest with those I care about... My eyes shift to the table and away from her face, the skin at the side of my eyes tensed up. I can't help but feel this way, as if my body was rejecting the very idea itself. Even if it was just venting my frustrations in a petty manner.

My jaw locked together and my throat felt dry. I wanted to speak, but there was a premonition of a sore throat. My lips shuffled, they got nervous. My thoughts run all over the place, dragging my eyes along, I looked at everywhere in the classroom. Everywhere except for Sariel's gaze... Why did this turn into my problem? I probably made her even more worried already.

"Fuu~" (Lastia)

I exhaled deeply and adjusted to composure, swiftly, hopefully before she ever noticed. I gazed straight at her, ignoring my own little episode.

Her own eyes rested on the table, pondering deeply before making a decision. She seemed similarly tensed and hesitant, juggling various priorities.

"Sorry, I'd rather not talk about it." (Sariel)

It was only after school when I received a text message from Sariel to meet on the roof. Away from prying eyes, she had something she wanted me to know.

When I opened the door, the late afternoon sun blinded me with its mellow yellow radiance. The sky was sparse with clouds and the light reflected brilliantly over the black steel plating covering Sariel's body. I raised my arm and transformed, there was no time to breath so my throat was caught in itself. Without taking another breath, I crudely repelled her punch as my legs dragged across the ground. The friction caused a thin grey smoke to waft off my soles as I was pushed back a few metres.

I couldn't even catch my breath, let alone speak. Her body flashes past me, but the peripherals of my vision caught her approach from the left. I swung my fist towards my left, my white gloves cling tightly to my skin. For a moment it felt great as my body broke past the human threshold. There was no questioning it, surpassing the limits of humanity led to an addictive adrenaline rush. My right fist lands on hers, but she simply had more strength.

My entire right arm goes numb, at the same time agonising pain assaults its entirety. I clenched my teeth, holding in my voice. I could finally have a breather, having dealt with Sariel's fearsome attack, but my body was in too much pain to even let out a yelp. My jaw clenched like a steel cage, unwilling to let up for a single moment as the pain signals spread throughout my body and back to my mind.

Nevermind her goal now, I have to survive. My reflexes manage to catch her so far, but if she escaped my line of sight it would be even more devastating. Even though I saw her movements and could take action to counteract them, her power was still too devastating that I wouldn't be able to handle it anyway. My right arm is no longer functioning, as far as I knew...

I've never heard of magical girls of having automatic barriers or instant regeneration... The stuff on kid's shows... I've never bothered to verify them until now... It looks like my endurance, my ability to handle attacks likely exceeds that of a human, but even that metric was outdone by Sariel's sheer strength. It took all I had to keep breathing and stand up, my only weapon here...

"... {Swap}." (Sariel)

"{Feed}!" (Lastia)

Coordinates and target are decided by her will, but in the end her magic still has to act through a mechanism in order to swap the locations of two items. Her magic must wrap around the two targets first before activating, it occurs at a high speed equivalent to her how fast she could make such a decision and consciously activate it, akin to pressing a button. But if I eat up that magic wrapping her target...

My right arm recovers rapidly as I absorbed her magical energy, repairing itself and returning back to normal normal strength as it blasted through the air. I missed.