Hereditary Void

Tav didn't know his heart could beat so fast, or that his chest could feel that tight. It was like he might burst. He wanted to burst. Wanted to vanish from that room, from the world, just to avoid the look he was seeing now.

That look of surprise. Confusion. And, more than anything... disappointment.

"Honestly, Headmistress Lucilla, I don't think I quite understood what happened. My son did what?"

That was a lie. He knew it was. She'd understood perfectly. His mother just wanted to make sure she hadn't misheard.

The headmistress, hands folded neatly on her desk, didn't look the slightest bit concerned. In fact, her eyes — dark as midnight — were more analytical than angry or upset. Almost emotionless, as if this whole conversation was beneath her.

"From what I've been told by Professor Serenus, Tavish used ingredients that weren't on the recommended list. The resulting gas explosion contaminated all of his classmates' supplies, and a fair number of the school's as well."

She blinked.

"We're still assessing the full extent of the damage. We'll need to catalog the lost materials and check for any health issues among his classmates. But an early estimate puts the total cost at around 10,000 gold dracs."

His mother's mouth was slightly open. Clearly, she was having trouble processing what had happened, trouble believing that her son had actually done something this bad.

The headmistress brought her hands up to rest under her nose, her expression unreadable.

"Honestly, Miss Zadie, this is not the kind of behavior we expect from a Sanctum student. Ignoring your professor's instructions, in particular — that's exactly how incidents like this happen."

"I understand…"

His mother lowered her head, her eyes a swirling mix of everything Tav feared the most. Sadness. Worry. Disappointment.

But eventually, she lifted her gaze again, steadier now. It was like she'd accepted what happened and knew she couldn't change it. The only thing left was to deal with the consequences.

"I apologize for the trouble my son has caused. I promise we'll cover all the costs."

Tav's eyes shot wide open.

"What?!"

What was she thinking? That was impossible. They didn't have that kind of money. Where the hell would she even get it? Another job? Better-paying gigs? Whatever it was, it meant she'd have to work even more than she already did, just to clean up his mess.

He sank into his chair, guilt settling on his shoulders like a boulder. Just imagining the nights she'd come home exhausted, the endless days of pushing herself… it was unbearable.

The headmistress let out a long sigh.

"Miss Zadie, money isn't the only concern here."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we've been keeping an eye on Tavish. He doesn't get along with his peers or his teachers. His grades are fine, sure, but without any social connections, he's going to struggle here."

Tav was stunned to hear they'd been watching him. He wondered how long it had been going on, and why. The first question, he couldn't answer. But the second, he already knew.

It was because he was from the East.

Of course Sanctum — the most prestigious academy on the continent — wouldn't trust someone from the outskirts. They weren't tracking his academic progress. They were watching to see when he'd screw up.

And what did they expect him to do, exactly? His classmates were the ones who shunned him. Treated him like trash. Was he supposed to beg them to be nice?

He wanted to punch something, someone. But he didn't. That would only disappoint his mother even more. So he sat still, silent, even though he had a bad feeling about what was coming next.

Lowering her hands back to the table, the headmistress continued, her voice calm and flat:

"Perhaps it's time to reconsider Tavish's place at Sanctum."

There it was. The suggestion that wasn't a suggestion. Coming from her, it might as well be an order. And just like that, fear gripped Tav's chest.

Those words… were his worst fear.

Not because of what it meant for his future. But because of what it would do to his mother.

Yet, as much as the idea terrified him… something else bubbled up. Something unexpected, that he didn't quite understand. Was it... relief? Anger? Both?

"No. Please, Headmistress. I promise we'll pay for everything. And my son will apologize to all of his classmates…"

The headmistress raised a hand, cutting her off.

"As I said, this isn't just about money. Tavish doesn't seem to belong in this environment. A change might do him good. Perhaps a school in the East."

Tav was a storm of emotions, struggling just to sit still. Sadness gnawed at him for letting his mother down. But at the same time, a wild, boiling rage was building inside. He had no idea he could even feel something this intense. It was like every injustice, every ounce of scorn he'd swallowed for being from the East had finally hit a breaking point.

He still wanted to explode. To get away from his mother, yes. But also to blow up alongside this wretched school.

His mother shook her head.

"No, ma'am. Please… my son deserves a good education just like any other student."

The headmistress studied Tav for a moment, then looked back at Zadie. Eventually, she sighed.

"Very well… Since this is Tavish's first offense, we'll let him off with a warning."

Immediately, his mother smiled and bowed her head deeply.

"Thank you so much, Headmistress Lucilla."

"Try to talk some sense into him, Miss Zadie. He has a bright future here, if he follows the rules and listens to his instructors."

If I just keep my head down for you…

"Yes, ma'am."

The headmistress stood, turning to face the massive window behind her, the whole campus visible below. Hands clasped behind her back, she said:

"I'll send you a report with the full damages soon. You're both dismissed."

***

"I told you to buy the materials from the shop your professor recommended, didn't I?"

Tav winced at his mother's sharp tone. She'd been quiet ever since they'd left the headmistress's office. But the moment they stepped foot back in their Eastside home, the scolding began.

Honestly, it was better this way. Her silence had been worse, made his chest feel like it was collapsing. He knew he'd messed up. He deserved this. Better to get it over with.

But that didn't make it any easier. Especially with that damn look she was giving him. The one that made it impossible to hold her gaze.

"But the prices were way higher than we could afford… so I bought them from a shop in the East."

He wasn't expecting forgiveness. Didn't even want it. He knew he was wrong. But he needed her to understand why. At least she'd know he wasn't being reckless just to cause trouble.

"Son, I told you I get paid next week. You could've used what we had for now."

She stood in front of him, arms on her hips, face caught between anger and disappointment. Tav shrank into the couch under the weight of it all.

"But no, you had to take the easy route, didn't you? Now your screw-up's gonna cost us twenty times more. Damm it, money doesn't grow on trees, Tav. You know that, right?"

His head dropped. His neck couldn't hold it up anymore. Staring at his own feet, heart pounding against his ribs, he muttered:

"I know, mom… I'm sorry…"

She growled through her teeth:

"If you're gonna say sorry afterward, maybe don't screw up in the first place, huh?"

She fell silent. The two of them just sat there for a while, facing each other in stillness. Then, she came over and sat beside him, hands folded on her knees, just like his. They were like mirror images.

Tav glanced at her dark hair, the lines of her jaw, her sharp cheekbones… All traits he'd inherited. He was her son. She was his mother. And he loved her more than anything in the world.

All he wanted was to see her happy. But if her peace and happiness were on the line, he'd give up anything.

Thinking about the extra work she'd have to take on, the sleepless nights she'd face to cover for him, Tav came to a decision. One she wouldn't like, but one he felt he had to make.

"Mom… don't you think maybe I should drop out of the academy and find a job or something?"

She looked at him, eyebrows rising.

"What?!"

He had to dig deep to find the courage to say those words. He knew how badly she wanted him to graduate from Sanctum. But that didn't change the fact that they needed money now. Even if it broke her heart, wasn't it the only choice?

And if he was being honest… some part of him was drawn to the idea. Not because he had no other choice, but because it just felt right. Why was that? Was it... because of how his classmates and teachers treated him?

Swallowing hard, unsure of how she'd react, he pushed forward, hesitant:

"We just… we can't pay for all the damage I caused. So I think the best thing I can do is get a job."

There was more. Something else he needed to tell her. But he didn't have enough courage left. The fear of letting her down still outweighed his own feelings, his own needs. It always had. But should it?

Should he really stay silent, just to avoid disappointing her, even if it meant giving up on his own peace?

Tav didn't have the answer. But he felt like he had to say something. Something real. So, gripping his knees tightly, he spoke, barely above a whisper:

"And besides… you have no idea how out of place I feel in that school. People who aren't from the Center… we're always going to be treated like garbage. Even if I graduate, they'll never accept a kid from the East."

There. He said it. Something even Tav had trouble understanding, trouble accepting.

That he'd never be accepted in the Center. That he'd never be one of those rich, upper-class kids, even if he studied at Sanctum. That no matter how much he liked learning about magic or the subjects taught at the Academy… he didn't belong there.

His mother didn't say anything for a long time. Her face was buried in her hands, and whatever she felt stayed locked behind them. When she finally spoke again, her voice trembled, hesitant, fragile, like she was right on the edge of falling apart.

"Please... don't…"

She paused with a sob.

"Don't say that, son… You have to stay in that school… You have to be better than me…"

She bit her lip, tears streaming down her pale face.

"Can't you see what I've given up? Can't you see what I've done for you…? Of course you don't. What the hell am I saying? Shit… you're breaking my heart, Tav…"

In the miserable streets of the Eastern District, Tav had always seen his mother as someone out of place, like a person who just didn't belong in all that filth. To him, she was the model of how a person should be, even if the world insisted she ought to be something else. Her words, her lessons, her opinions, they carried a weight so heavy Tav couldn't even begin to measure it.

So when she said those words… those damn words… they cut deeper than any blade. Tav felt them like a wound he couldn't stop bleeding from. In that instant, he regretted everything. All of it. He didn't know why he'd said it, not really. He knew it would hurt her. And still, he said it.

Why the hell did he do that? Why couldn't he just shut his mouth?

Shit. Shit, shit, shit… Dammit…

He clutched at his hair, tears dripping from his face to the warped wooden floor.

"You're smart… kind… gifted… You're such an amazing boy… And all I ever wanted was for you to have a better life than mine. I just wanted to give you a shot at surviving in this goddamn city. That's why I bust my ass every day. That's why I'm barely home."

She still had her face hidden in her hands, but the tears were impossible to hide. They poured down her cheeks, between her fingers, soaking into her pants, into the uneven floor beneath her. And the more Tav heard the sound of her crying, the more his heart pounded in his chest, the tighter his hands pulled at his hair, the harder he cried.

"Okay, mom… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Please don't cry."

The next moment, she dropped her hands and threw her arms around him, holding him tight, still shaking with sobs.

"You think I don't know how they treat you at that school? I go through the same thing at work, Tav. That's why you have to prove them wrong. Just imagine it, my son, one day, as the king's advisor or a famous alchemist…"

She cupped his face, holding his cheeks gently in her palms, and looked him right in the eyes, the same purple eyes he got from her.

"I know you can do it, Tav. You're the most incredible boy I know."

She smiled then. A small, aching smile filled with hope and longing.

And looking into those tear-filled violet eyes, seeing that smile stretched across her tired face, Tav realized just how much he loved her. So much he could let the whole world burn before breaking her heart again. He would never do anything that went against her wishes. He would never walk any path but hers.

"…Alright, mom."

He reached for her hand, gripping it gently, grounding himself in her touch, in her warmth, in the safety it always brought him.

"I'll stay in the academy."