Harry Potter: The Witty Wizard

As the senior auror sighed, reached into his robes and drew out his auror badge, Harry continued to grin evilly at the now shocked pale and trembling floo installer.

He continued, "You should also know that, before you think about trying anything, there are wards on this property and the property that surrounds it that will do you harm if you try. And, if the wards activate against you, it will be proof that your intent was to try.

"So, unless you want to also be, as an individual, a subject of the investigation the senior auror here is about to initiate, you had best connect the floo and do an absolutely smashing job of it. If you do not, it could easily be seen as an attempt by you to do harm to... not one, but two... members of the Seven, let alone the aurors often here. The first two, alone, would mean the Veil for you.

"Within the past four weeks I have legally taken down the Supreme Mugwump of the ICW, the Chief Warlock, the sitting Minister, his Senior Undersecretary, the then Minister's closest non-Ministerial confidant, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, two other Heads of Houses of Hogwarts, four other members of staff, the regent for the Noble and Most Ancient House of Longbottom and the then Director of the Department of International Magical Cooperation. A pissant little floo installer like you, until now, I felt was beneath me... right up until you annoyed me.

"Pissing off members of the Seven is a really, really bad idea. You do not want to piss either of us off any more than we are, right now. Get to work."

Sirius, with a wide grin on his face, looked between Harry and the installer, before he more directly looked to the installer and glared, "Well? Why aren't you moving?"

The witch 'moved'. The floo was up and active inside ten minutes.

Then the auror looked to the installer and said, "I've just sent a message to my colleagues in the DMLE that I am about to step through into the DMLE bullpen. I am going to arrive there in full health, am I not?"

Still shaking in fear, the installer replied, "Y-yes!"

The auror gave a nod back and said, "Wait here. I'll be back within the minute." He then turned to Sirius and instructed, "If I am not, Lord Black, please send a messenger Patronus to Madam Bones and let her know."

Without waiting for a response and taking a pinch of floo powder from a container within his robes, the auror dashed it into the fireplace and called "Auror bullpen!"

As soon as the flames turned green he stepped through and was gone.

As soon as he was, Sirius turned to the installer and pleasantly asked, "Don't you have something for me to sign?"

Without a word she thrust her clipboard at Sirius, now not wanting to be thought of as being reluctant or reticent to do so. She was still trembling.

Sirius casually accepted it, signed the form on it in the relevant places and said, "Payment will be made by the end of the day." Then offered the clipboard back.

As the witch hesitantly took it back he asked, "Aren't you also supposed to be leaving a small bag of floo powder, too?"

She quickly scrambled for a pocket in her robes, found it, pulled out a nondescript bag of floo powder and thrust it at Sirius, "H-here!"

Again, Sirius casually accepted it and said, "Thank you." And placed it on the mantelpiece.

"I-I... need... to go," she stammered.

Harry firmly but calmly stated, "You are under orders by a duly authorised officer of the DMLE to wait right here. Right here, you will wait."

"Y-yes, My Lord," she stammered.

He smirked and explained, "We cannot have you going to your offices in the FNA and letting your colleagues know what is about to befall them all; can we?"

"Errrr... N-no, M-my Lord."

"While we wait," he said, "I'm going to tell you further just where and when you utterly fucked up, you stupid little jackanapes.

"When you entered and found that the property you were to connect to the network was somewhere related to a muggle home, every time you said muggle, you sneered. Lord Black, here, is the magical guardian of the daughter of one of those muggles you sneered at. She is also my betrothed; she is the Lady Presumptive of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Potter.

"Right there, you pissed me off; let alone Lord Black.

"Secondly, you tried to use your pitiful authority as a lowly floo installer to cow a couple of Lords of Noble and Most Ancient Houses. Clearly, no one has bothered to tell you that is a very bad idea. However, if you had a lick of the sense you're obviously clearly lacking, no one should have had to tell you it was a bad idea. That showed you to be a daft moron.

"I do not like daft morons. Daft morons are dangerous for everyone around them. They get themselves... or, more importantly... those around them killed.

"Thirdly, you were told we had the matter seen to by a Law-wizard. That Law-wizard is the Law-wizard of Record for two of the Seven and, I believe, the Law-wizard of Record for a number of Noble and Ancient Houses. He is not a daft moron. He would not be the Law-wizard of Record for two of the Seven and quite a few other Noble Houses if he was.

"By you refusing to accept at least one Law-wizard of Record had already determined the law would not be broken by the floo being connected in this property, and that's besides the senior auror also telling you that, you considered that Law-wizard to be a bigger daft moron than yourself. That meant you considered those Noble and Most Ancient and Noble and Ancient Houses to be daft morons, themselves, by taking that law-wizard on as their Law-wizard of Record. That, too, was quite insulting.

"Either that, or you were stating you consider myself and Lord Black, here, lied to you. Personally, I find that even more insulting."

When the auror stepped back through moments later, he was followed through by three more aurors and Madam Bones.

Harry immediately recognised two of them that he often saw as Madam Bones's personal guard. The third, a female auror, took one look at the female installer and asked, "Are you the witch from the FNA?"

The witch, now pretty much crying, only nodded.

"Then, Madam," said the auror. "You're coming with me. We have some questions you're required to answer."

That was it for the witch. She immediately burst into tears as she was firmly guided back to the floo. She was openly sobbing her heart out and needed that guiding hand.

She and her auror escort were gone moments later.

Chiding his godson a little, Sirius asked, "Was that really necessary, Harry?"

Harry stared right back with a blank expression. "Yes," he flatly said. And then vehemently added, "How dare the bitch come into the Granger's home with that attitude."

Sirius, surprised at Harry's clear vehemence, only said, "Ah!"

"Alright, Lord Potter," said Madam Bones, drawing his attention to her.

She sighed and, with a somewhat pained expression, said, "We need to talk."

"Figured as much," he flatly returned.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

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After Madam Bones and her two aurors left, muttering about how Harry had landed yet more work through investigations onto her plate, Sirius finished with the protections on the 'Doghouse'; one of those was a password for the floo - 'Woof woof!'

Harry just rolled his eyes.

Sirius snickered and asked, "Well, I don't think there's going to be anyone who's going to guess it, do you?"

"No," replied Harry. "But, isn't it a little childish?"

"Of course it is," agreed his godfather.

"So," he pressed, "What's the actual floo address and how do I use the password?"

"Ah!" said Sirius. "You toss in the floo powder and call 'Doghouse'. Then, once the connection is through, call 'Woof woof!' and step through. Just don't call the password until the connection is through or the password ward at this end won't receive it and disengage for you."

Harry shrugged and said, "Sounds simple enough."

His godfather smiled and replied, "It is." Then asked, "How're the potions going?"

Harry immediately pulled a face and replied, "Still apparently no end in sight."

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