Genshin Impact: The Sharpshooter of Teyvat

Shao Yun pulled a heavy jar of wine from his Legend of the East Satchel, cradling it as if it were a rare treasure.

He gently placed the jar on the table. Intricate carvings adorned its surface, and a faint osmanthus fragrance wafted from it, intoxicating to the senses.

"Brother Zhongli, how could we let such a fine evening go to waste?" Shao Yun's face beamed with enthusiasm. He pointed to the wine jar on the table and said heartily, "Come on, have a taste of your own local brew with me!"

Zhongli studied the jar closely, a glimmer of appreciation flashing in his eyes.

He nodded slightly, seemingly captivated by the jar's appearance and aroma.

He gently ran his hand over the surface, as if to feel its unique texture, then looked up and asked, "This wine… could it be Thousand Mile Drunk, the famed signature of 'Three Bowls But Can't Cross the Harbor'?"

Upon hearing this, Shao Yun grinned proudly and nodded. "Mr. Zhongli, you've got quite the discerning eye! That's right—this is indeed the signature wine, Thousand Mile Drunk. It's said to be brewed from Liyue's finest osmanthus and century-old liquor, full-bodied and with an endlessly lingering aftertaste."

Zhongli paused in thought, a trace of doubt flickering across his face. He spoke softly, "I recall that their signature wine is never sold. How did you manage to acquire it?"

Shao Yun laughed heartily and broke the jar's seal. A strong wave of osmanthus scent surged forth, refreshing and invigorating.

"That's true, their signature wine is not for sale. But while I was buying wine there, we had a great conversation. They could tell I was a true wine enthusiast and made an exception, gifting this jar to me."

You have to listen to Shao Yun's words in reverse. That old man must be insane if he'd sell their signature brew like that!

Zhongli's brows furrowed, a flicker of mistrust in his gaze.

"Shao Yun, I want you to tell me the truth. What really happened?"

Shao Yun was momentarily taken aback, then scratched his head awkwardly. He took a deep breath and said, "Alright, I went to the tavern hoping to buy a good bottle of wine. Instead, they handed me a bowl of yellow 'piss'. I got angry and decided to give the owner a lesson."

"'Gave him a lesson'?" Zhongli's brow furrowed even tighter. "And how, exactly, did you do that?"

Shao Yun cleared his throat. "I, uh, lightly smashed a few things in the shop. Then, to keep things from escalating, the owner sold me their signature wine, Thousand Mile Drunk."

Zhongli's pupils shrank—he could hardly believe his ears.

He widened his eyes in disbelief. "With your temperament, you're telling me you only smashed a few things?" He swallowed nervously. "You didn't… kill the owner and rob the place, did you?"

Shao Yun waved his hands frantically, shaking his head. "No, no! I'd never do something like that! I'm not that cruel, am I?"

Still, Zhongli could sense unease from Shao Yun's evasive tone.

This guy... he acts all carefree, but if you really push him, he might actually do something that crazy.

Seeing Zhongli remain silent, Shao Yun continued explaining.

"They tried to sell me that swill, so of course I had to teach them a lesson. I just broke a few tables and chairs—cheap stuff. Then they offered me the good wine willingly."

Zhongli finally let out a sigh of relief. He took a sip of tea to calm his nerves before asking again, "And how much did you pay for this Thousand Mile Drunk?"

Shao Yun held up a single finger and casually replied, "One Mora."

"One Mora?!"

Zhongli nearly dropped his teacup. He stared at Shao Yun in disbelief. "You bought aged fine wine like Thousand Mile Drunk for one Mora?!"

Shao Yun nodded again, and Zhongli held his head in his hands, at a loss for how to respond.

"You could've just robbed them. Why even pay at that point?"

Shao Yun scratched his head and gave an embarrassed chuckle. "Heh… I figured taking it without paying would be too uncivilized, right?"

With that, he picked up the jar and poured Zhongli a bowl.

The wine shimmered in the bowl, its pale golden hue as clear as amber, giving off a soft fragrance.

Shao Yun smiled brightly at Zhongli. "No more talk of all that unpleasantness. Go ahead—try the wine. I guarantee you'll love it."

Zhongli looked down at the pale golden nectar in his bowl and let out a resigned chuckle. "Shao Yun, you're something else. Next time, maybe refrain from smashing shops?"

Shao Yun took a sip of wine, shook his head, and set the bowl down. "Serves them right for getting their shop wrecked. Short-pouring like that—I can't just let that slide."

Back in Saint Denis, there was this conman selling get-rich-quick books. I asked for a refund. He refused. Next second, he turned into a punching bag.

Zhongli sighed again, picked up his bowl, and took a small sip, savoring the flavor.

After a moment, he set the bowl down and shook his head. "Sigh, I expected something special. Turns out it's just the old flavor of Three Bowls But Can't Cross the Harbor from before. Who'd have thought an ordinary wine from the past would become this tavern's signature?"

Shao Yun frowned, clearly displeased. "That old man's lost his touch. Always thinking about diluting the wine. Keep that up and he'll ruin the tavern's reputation."

Zhongli sighed again. "Yes… If only the current owner had the integrity of the previous ones. Sadly, many businessmen today care too much about profit."

A spark lit up in Shao Yun's eyes. He turned to Zhongli, excited. "I've got it! How about this—every time I see a shady store, I'll smash it. Maybe then all of Liyue's merchants will behave out of fear!"

Zhongli looked at Shao Yun and couldn't help but ask, "Aren't you worried the Millelith might come after you?"

At this, Shao Yun's lips curled into a mysterious smile. He patted his chest confidently. "Hmph, the Millelith should be afraid of me!"

The two exchanged a smile and said no more.

They raised their bowls—one for each of them—and emptied the jar to the last drop.

The wine went down smoothly, as if washing away all worries, leaving behind only warmth and rich aroma.

Zhongli gently set down his empty bowl and looked across the table at Shao Yun.

"By the way… where are Lumine and Paimon?"

At this, Shao Yun gave a small smile and pointed toward the direction of Liyue Harbor's archway.

"They're out adventuring." His voice held a trace of envy and helplessness.

Zhongli furrowed his brow slightly, a look of confusion in his eyes.

"You didn't go with them?" he asked, concern tinging his tone.

Shao Yun sighed softly, sounding a little helpless.

"I wanted to go with Lumine, but she wouldn't let me." He shook his head, a wry smile on his lips. "Ah, girls and their little secrets…"

No sooner had the words left Shao Yun's mouth than a crisp, clear female voice shattered the calm—sharp and reproachful like a mountain spring suddenly bursting forth.

"Consultant! What do you think you're doing?!"

Zhongli, caught up in Shao Yun's tale, flinched at the sudden shout and turned around quickly, startled.

Shao Yun also turned toward the source of the voice, and saw a young girl briskly walking over.

She wore a divination hat with a blooming plum blossom adorning one side of the brim—a splash of color in the winter chill.

Her twin ponytails, shifting from red to brown, gave her a lively, mischievous look.

As she approached, both Zhongli and Shao Yun recognized her—it was none other than Hu Tao, the 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

Hu Tao carried a thick stack of flyers in her arms, each one emblazoned with the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's logo and slogan. She reached the table and slammed the flyers down with a loud "PAH."

She stared at Zhongli, her eyes full of reproach and confusion. Her tone was stern. "I told you to promote our business. What are you doing here, drinking and watching a show?!"

Her scolding came like a summer downpour—sudden and intense.

Like a daughter chastising her father, her face radiated disappointment and displeasure.

She slammed the table again—even louder—as if to further emphasize her dissatisfaction.

"You better give me an explanation!" she continued, "Or no drumstick for dinner tonight!"

Though her words carried threat, her bright eyes sparkled with concern and anticipation, as if waiting for a reasonable excuse.

Zhongli gently coughed into his fist, breaking the heavy mood.

He turned to Hu Tao, who still seemed slightly upset, and explained, "Director, there may have been some misunderstanding. I wasn't idling—I was discussing business matters with Mr. Shao Yun."

He shot a subtle glance at Shao Yun, who immediately caught on and smiled at Hu Tao.

"Director Hu, Mr. Zhongli was indeed explaining the Funeral Parlor's operations to me. We were in the middle of a discussion."

Hu Tao's eyes lit up at his words, the blossom-like pupils twinkling with excitement.

She looked Shao Yun over carefully—his black hat, brown jacket, and blue undershirt all struck her as unusually striking.

She exclaimed, "So you're Mr. Shao Yun—the dashing and distinguished gentleman! Your reputation precedes you. I'm Hu Tao, the 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. I've heard so much about you!"

Shao Yun scratched his head, a bit flustered by her enthusiasm. "Oh? Am I really that famous?"

But Hu Tao didn't answer his question directly. Instead, she turned her praise toward Zhongli.

"Consultant, you're amazing! You knew I was looking for Mr. Shao Yun. You truly are my most reliable assistant!"

Zhongli seemed a bit puzzled by the sudden praise but responded modestly, "Director, you flatter me. As a consultant, it's my duty to ease your burdens."

Hu Tao nodded in satisfaction. "Very good, very good. I'll give you an extra drumstick at dinner!"

While she basked in the joy of praising Zhongli, Shao Yun discreetly reached out and picked up one of the flyers she'd placed on the table, studying it.

On the flyer, Hu Tao's face smiled brightly like a blooming flower, beside a large block of text:

"Wangsheng Funeral Parlor Big Promotion—Buy One, Get One Free! The More You Buy, The More You Get! Bring this flyer for 50% off!"

What an unlucky slogan! Who do they think is dying too little?!

Hu Tao turned and looked at him, her eyes filled with pride and anticipation.

She beamed. "Well? Not bad, right? I spent a long time coming up with that line—it's catchy and easy to remember!"

Shao Yun set the flyer down, frowning slightly, as if in deep thought. He looked up and offered a suggestion.

"Hu Tao, I think the slogan is straightforward, but maybe it could carry a bit more meaning and depth."

Hu Tao's interest was immediately piqued. She blinked curiously. "Oh? Mr. Shao Yun, what do you suggest?"

Shao Yun stroked his chin in thought, then recalled a phrase he'd once heard.

"In the river of time, people are like shooting stars—here in a flash, gone in a blink."

"Life spans 36,000 days, yet no matter how many homes you own, your bed needs only three feet."

"People are like flowers in a pot; life is a tangled mess. No matter how grand the house, it's but a temporary shelter—this little box is your eternal home."

The air seemed to freeze the moment he finished.

Hu Tao was stunned. She looked at Shao Yun, her eyes brimming with admiration.

The slogan was not only catchy but profound, evoking a sudden awareness of life's brevity and value. She nodded vigorously.

"Mr. Shao Yun, you're incredibly talented! That's an amazing slogan!"

Shao Yun lowered his gaze slightly, clearly uneasy with the praise.

He waved a hand modestly and gave a humble smile, as if brushing off the compliments.

"Just standing on the shoulders of giants. I never even finished school…" His voice was calm and low, as if stating a fact rather than feigning humility.

Hu Tao, however, wasn't swayed.

She shook her head, her eyes glittering as if she'd found a hidden gem. "You're too modest, Mr. Shao Yun! I've got so much to learn from you. Why don't you come to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor for a chat? I'll have Consultant Zhongli pour your tea!"

Shao Yun froze.

A flash of surprise crossed his eyes.

He thought back to when he first arrived in Teyvat—arguing with the Anemo Archon in Mondstadt…

Now, here in Liyue, the Geo Archon himself would pour him tea? That was beyond his imagination.

Shao Yun pressed his lips together in thought.

He looked up and met Hu Tao's hopeful gaze.

"Miss Hu Tao. Let me discuss it with Mr. Zhongli first—I'll give you an answer soon."

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