Genshin Impact: I, Heavenly Principle, Will Make Teyvat Supreme

A blue-colored Paimon-like figure curled up like a small child, peacefully sleeping without a care in the world. Even when Noah grabbed her by the collar and lifted her up, she showed no signs of waking up.

"So this is how it is, huh."

Sensing the blue Paimon's physical condition, Noah quickly understood the situation.

It turned out that when Phanes fell into slumber and was on the verge of death, Phanes instinctively retracted their authority. Of all the retainers Phanes had entrusted with power, only Asmoday remained active, while the remaining two Shades still alive suffered misfortunes. Among them was Istaroth, whose Time Authority was reclaimed after she sustained injuries during the Throne War. Trapped within a temporal fragment, she became unable to leave.

Noah gave the little blue figure a shake, as if she were a ragdoll. "What a pitiful mess you've gotten yourself into."

Istaroth's head lolled about with Noah's motion, her mouth drooling slightly in her sleep. Even in this sorry state, her true nature remained unchanged—she was the sharpest mind among the Four Shades.

In the early days of the Throne War, it was Istaroth who cleverly orchestrated a scheme that pitted the three Moon Goddesses, who were all infatuated with the same Lord of the Stars (morning stars), against each other. Her machinations caused the three Moon Sisters to turn on one another, granting Phanes a victory without ever needing to lift a finger.

"But…"

Noah raised Istaroth over his head, a mischievous smile spreading across his lips.

"To think that I'd end up with my own personal flying sprite. Turns out, Istaroth is my Paimon stand-in."

Noah chuckled to himself, visibly pleased. "I knew it! As a Traveler, I had to get a Paimon of my own, didn't I?"

Since he had already acquired a "Paimon," there was only one thing left to do…

In an instant, Noah returned to the Grand Narukami Shrine and cheerfully called out to the bewildered group—Raiden Ei, Yae Miko, Kitsune Saiguu, and the Kamisato siblings.

"Come on, everyone, gather around! Look what I've found. Let's strike while the iron's hot—get the stove ready!"

With a snap of his fingers, Noah summoned a glowing pot using his Light Realm Authority. Setting it over an imaginary fire, he added water, turned up the heat, and promptly tossed the slumbering Istaroth into the pot.

Waving to the onlookers, Noah exclaimed, "Come on, don't just stand there! Get over here."

Though confused about what exactly the god had in mind, the group obeyed, quickly gathering around him. Without further explanation, Noah handed out knives and forks.

Kamisato Ayaka stared wide-eyed at the glowing pot and its unusual contents. Covering her mouth in shock, she asked, "Could it be… that the god intends to… eat this little sprite?"

Noah rolled his eyes at the suggestion. "Of course not. I just want to give her a little surprise when she wakes up."

Yae Miko immediately caught on, her lips curling into a sly grin. Her gaze drifted to the slumbering sprite within the pot. Recalling Noah's earlier words—"I finally found you, Istaroth"—a spark of realization lit up her mind.

That little sprite in the pot… could she really be Istaroth, the God of Time herself?

It dawned on her that what she was witnessing was a prank on a god—one far more powerful than both Raiden Ei and Raiden Makoto combined. But instead of concern, a thrill coursed through Yae Miko's veins. The sheer audacity of the situation filled her with excitement.

Meanwhile, the Kamisato siblings exchanged helpless smiles. While they had come to expect Noah's mischievous personality, this exceeded all their expectations. Still, as great god from Celestia, they could do nothing but go along with his antics.

As the water in the pot gradually warmed, Istaroth's expression began to change. Her delicate brows furrowed, her mouth smacked slightly, and her eyelids trembled. Slowly, she began to awaken. Finally, she let out a tiny yawn.

"Ah~ That was such a nice nap~," came a groggy voice.

"Well, if you've had a good nap, it's time for dinner," teased a playful voice nearby.

The blue Paimon-like figure murmured sleepily, "Yeah, I'm starving… What's for dinner?"

"Of course, we're eating you," the teasing voice continued.

"Mmm… eating me, huh," she mumbled, smacking her lips absentmindedly before suddenly freezing.

Wait—who was talking just now? And eating… me?!

Her eyes snapped open, wide with shock, and the first thing she saw were five faces looming over her, staring with all kinds of complicated expressions. But that wasn't the worst part. In each of their hands, they held… knives and forks.

Istaroth froze in place. Her gaze dropped downward, and sure enough, she realized she was sitting in…

A pot. A pot that was heating up over a flame.

That explained why she'd woken up feeling so warm.

The horrifying realization struck her. She was about to be eaten.

"AAAAHHHHH! I'm not food!!!" Istaroth screamed, flailing her arms and legs as she tried to fly out of the pot—only to discover, to her dismay, that her powers weren't working.

Noah's fiery gaze locked onto her, and he licked his lips. "Talking food must taste even better. I'll take the head—that's bound to be the tenderest part. What about you?"

Kamisato Ayaka, barely suppressing her laughter, joined in nervously. "T-then… I'll take her fingers."

Kamisato Ayato smirked faintly, playing along. "Her legs for me, I suppose. Plenty of meat there."

Yae Miko clinked her knife and fork together, her mischievous grin lighting up her face. She licked her lips in mock hunger. "Then I'll take her heart. After all, you are what you eat, right?"

She nudged Kitsune Saiguu with her elbow. "What about you, Lady Saiguu? The liver, perhaps?"

Kitsune Saiguu cast a sympathetic glance at the flustered little sprite in the pot, then nodded ever so slightly.

Istaroth's panicked expression was so comically exaggerated that it made her even more endearing. Her arms flailed, and she wailed, tears streaming down her face. "Noooo! I'm not food! Don't eat me!!!"

Sobbing uncontrollably, she tried to process what was happening.

What the heck was this? She'd just woken up, and now she was about to be eaten?!

"I'm the God of Time!" she wailed internally. "And now I'm going to be eaten in a pot! This has got to be a joke!"

Noah leaned closer with a sinister chuckle. "I'll start by slurping your brains out through your ears."

Istaroth's face went pale as she stared at Noah's devilish expression. Her frightened gaze darted to the others, and finally, she locked eyes with Raiden Ei, who looked like a beacon of salvation.

"AAAAHHHH! Baal—Baal Zebul! Save me! It's me! It's me! You don't know me, but I know you! I'm the Ruler of Time of Celestia!"

Grasping desperately at the rim of the pot, she shouted, "We're coworkers! Please save me!!!"

Raiden Ei froze at the bizarre sight, unsure of how to even respond.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Noah let out a booming laugh. "HAHAHAHAHA! That was too good—my stomach hurts from laughing! HAHAHA!"

With a flick of his finger, he released a faint trace of his authority as the Heavenly Principle.

The moment Istaroth sensed that familiar power, she froze mid-flail, completely dumbfounded.

As one of the headstrong intellectuals among the Four Shades, it only took her a moment of reflection to piece everything together.

Istaroth's golden eyes widened, and she pointed an accusatory finger at Noah. "Y-you… YOU!!!"

Noah pressed a finger to his lips, signaling her to stay quiet.

Understanding his unspoken message—he didn't want his identity revealed—Istaroth swallowed her frustration. But that didn't stop her from fuming internally.

"AAAAAAAA! You JERK!" she shouted, her anger exploding in full force. "How dare you prank me like this?! You absolute MONSTER!"

Noah chuckled as he lifted the squirming sprite out of the pot. "Haha, come on now. I just wanted to wake you up with a little surprise. First impressions matter, don't they?"

Flailing her tiny arms in fury, Istaroth glared at him. "You scared me half to death, you lunatic!"

Despite her anger, an ache of sadness flickered in her chest. She bit her lip before hesitantly asking, "If you've taken over her authority… does that mean…?"

Noah nodded solemnly. "Yeah. She's offline for now. But…"

Before she could sink further into sorrow, Noah touched her forehead and transmitted all the information about the World Assimilation Plan and the current state of Teyvat directly into her mind.

Istaroth's expression instantly froze.

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