Fairy Tail: Kyoka Suigetsu

Do you understand?

After a long-distance travel, I'm finally back at Magnolia. I'm currently standing in front of the guild thinking about whether I kicked that door open.

Yes, this is my second fight against my intrusive thoughts. Out of curiosity, I really wanted to know how it feels like kicking that door and why Natsu likes it very much. But on second thought, simply shake my head. Doing barbaric things will decrease the value of coolness.

I already set the kind of character I wanted to become. First things first, being aloof and cool-headed. Although, in my previous life, I'm not friendly. I have my own reason, even if I have some guys you might call friends. I'm still distant.

Second is independence, even if you have a strong person like Makarov protecting you, willing to go as far as to declare war on whoever harms his family. Being too dependent on letting him pamper you, that's not my style.

Lastly, I'm still thinking about whether I should become a somewhat wise man throwing proverbs and talking about the meaning of life here and there. Or become a mysterious person.

"Life is only meaningful if you found meaning in life." That's cringe. If Mister Plato heard this, he might have a heart attack or beat me to death. "Instead of saying that bullshit, it's better to say, Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. -Albert Einstein"

"Certainly the difference between is heaven and Earth." I give up the crappy idea I came up with and instead choose to be me. Changing character is easy, but is it necessary?

You can choose to adopt or live freely. But once you do it, there's no going back; worst case, you might lose yourself.

I'm speaking from experience. The reason why I watched Fairy Tail isn't because I'm lusting for girls; I swear on my pride, I never lie. My reason is simple: because of Mystogan, head to the guild, put everyone to sleep, and leave quietly.

If you watched Fairy Tail and called yourself a man like Elfman, at least once you thought it was cool, right? Not because others say so, but you think it's cool.

That's basically what I'm talking about. I took actions because I find him cool, while the others watch it because of girls.

And if you find my reasoning cheap, it simply means you don't understand. To make things simple, have you ever heard of Bandura's Bobo doll experiment?

"This proves that children can learn through observation and later imitating the same behaviors with a combination of environmental and cognitive processes."

And if you looked at me, despite growing old, I haven't fully matured yet. If I am, then do I need to think about doing those trivial things? Certainly not.

As for the reason why I brought it here, it is simply to tell you that the environment plays a role in the development of children; even without knowing the experiment, you could tell from experience.

Either you witness it or experience it firsthand.

Having said that, the reason why I watched Fairy Tail is because I found it cool. I'm influence heavily by coolness.

While other watches it because of girls, do you understand now? I'm saying those perverts influence one another. Even though the experiment is about violence, it doesn't change the fact that the environment plays a major role in a child's growth.

Basically, if you are innocent and got surrounded by perverts, you are bound to become one, especially if you are seeking happiness. If you are lonely, you are bound to do things here and there; you seek to do it because doing those things gives them happiness.

And the idea of experiencing it attracts you, but it's a wrong way to solve the problem, but what can you do? You are lonely because you feel alone. No one will help you; this time you understand the true meaning of "I'm a hero who saves everyone, but who will save me?"

Each of us has our own different problems and ways to cope with them. Basically, by smoking, drinking, and many more. And you accompany your so-called friend in loneliness, saving him from experiencing depression.

But what about you?

You are destroying yourself little by little... Smoking, drinking, and eventually assaulting women. There will be a time when you seek blood for pleasure. It's bound to happen, and once it happens, there's no way back.

But what can you do?

What can you do?

You are just a kid who knows nothing about the world. You are just a victim. But for them, you are nothing but trash! People like you are trash; for them, you should be purged because you're a social scourge.

Your life doesn't have any meaning for them. It's better for you to die! They will wish for your death, and the thoughts of happiness will no longer concern you.

There's nothing inside you after you experience those things. For you, life has lost its meaning; you lose your reason to live. Even though you tried so hard to find out but failed to do so.

So... You don't have a choice.

Worthless!

Worthless!

What can you do?

Nothing...

Yes, nothing but there's one way.

It's painful and hopeless; you needed help, but no one comes. Your so-called friend disappears one after another.

You've been consumed... And now there's no way back. You simply wanted to escape from this dark place, and eventually you find a way. You believe in those fiction things. You believe in reincarnation. You believe in second chances, so you choose to kill yourself because you believe it will happen.

But on the verge of death, you felt fear and regrets about your actions, but there's no way to save you now. Eventually you close your eyes and think about life. Although you struggled and did different kinds of things, you found happiness hidden underneath.

You found happiness in doing this with your friends, even though it's wrong. You find happiness in breaking the rules. You find happiness in beating someone up. Yes, although your actions were evil. The happiness you found that day is genuine. You realize that happiness can be found anywhere; it's just that you look at life the wrong way. That's why you found nothing... But it's too late.

"What am I here doing again?" I asked myself while looking at the guild. "I really wanted to kick that door."

Out of curiosity, I really wanted to know how it feels to kick that door and why Natsu likes it very much. But on second thought, simply shake my head.

Anyway, I already felt the presence of the guild master inside. So I stretch my hand towards the door, ignoring the loud noise.

"Dark moment!"

The loud place has been put into silence; it's not like I couldn't hear them; they could still hear and talk among themselves; it's just that I isolated President Makarov and me to talk. I gently push the door and meet his warm gaze.

"I'm back," I said.

"Welcome back! How's the mission?"

I just throw him a pile of paper containing my report. He catches it easily. "I've put everything in there." I turn my back to him. "By the way, president, I'm planning on training myself." Then, I gently wave my hands, gesturing goodbye to him. Of course I also undid the hypnosis, causing guild members to feel upset.

"Bastard!" said by Macao.

"I definitely beat him up!" said Gray, standing at the table without clothes.

Anyway, I ignore those blabbering and head to the forest. Thinking about my training plan.

Without my knowlegeable someone is watching me from a distance. A blind person who wears black cloak. It's invisible before but there are two palm holding each other acting like a bowl and there's a single eye in the middle on his neck.

"Blind Faith"

Unknowingly a wide smirk appear on his face. "This is interesting... He is bound to join us. I must report it immediately."

He disappears in an instant leaving no trace behind.