Enlil

The water was cold, extremely so. I walked through it in silence and I held two crudely made baskets on my hands.

Crude.

Rib baskets.

My hands shook, it wasn't physical toll, something weighed on my mind, on my morality.

I wanted to drop it.

But I know if I did that, death would follow after we leave.

Rest.

After all those things we went through, a hard earned rest was necessary.

I still don't understand why Cassian questioned it.

Questioned my decision to leave if we got a chance to do so.

Did he forget everything that has happened till now?

Or does he not care about those?

His suggestion to use his own ribcages as baskets horrified me.

It was necessary for survival, I, too, had thought of making something to carry these fruits.

And I was hoping I would find some materials on the way out.

But I have never thought of self mutilation.

You might have regeneration but why?

Do you not have any self respect?

I wanted to ask him these questions.

But a glance at his face made me rethink my choice.

I could see it.

He was horrified, disgusted and resentment was etched onto his face.

He is disgusted by his choice.

We could have used anything, we could've at least tried to make bags out of these leaves, right?

Despite their brittleness we can atleast try.

We can even use those trees, we can hollow them out, so then why?

Why did I agree?

To see how far he goes?

Was I thinking he was joking about it?

Why didn't I hesitate?

No, I did hesitate.

But I never expected him to mutilate himself when I agreed.

I passed it as a joke.

Rationalising for survival is one thing but..

There are no buts.

It was not rational, it was irrational.

An irrational choice made by an inexperienced man.

Disturbing.

A disturbing choice.

The fog began to weigh down on me, moisture trapped deep inside showering me in cold droplets of water.

It seems like we are reaching the edge of the oasis islands.

A safe zone.

A creepy safe zone.

I don't care about how deep it unsettled me before, Cassian's choice was more disturbing for me.

It weighed down on my morality.

But not too much.

It's disturbed me a little bit.

Not too much.

Two companions by situation, walking through knee deep water, surrounded by mini islands.

Faint, loose fog surrounded them.

And thus fog was growing thicker and denser as time passed by.

Two faint blue, smoky humanoid lights walked ahead, leading them, guiding them through this safe zone.

And in their hands, they carried the products of the self mutilation done on one of them.

Everything looked fine, the atmosphere was silent and oddly peaceful, the temperature was cold and soothing , the only issue was the haunting baskets they carried.

For Callon and Cassian, it might not seem much.

A memory that would not be forgotten but not brought up.

A memory which would be seemingly insignificant in the future.

The only issue is that how would it influence the relationship between Callon and Cassian?

Callon doesn't know the answer to that question.

But this isn't enough.

It isn't enough to crumble their twisted companionship.

********

I stared at the waking figure of Callon ahead,

I could sense his glances every now and then he gave me.

Is he worried?

Worried about my sanity?

Genuine worry or selfish worry?

Maybe worried that I would stab him on the back after going insane? or genuinely worried about me?

Or just disturbed by my actions?

I don't know.

I don't want to know.

The bleeding has stopped but the damage has already been done, the fruits were covered in blood and a metallic smell emanated from it.

My shoulders ached, it didn't linger long due to my regeneration.

Hesitation, huh?

Why didn't I hesitate to do this?

To be honest, I knew we had a lot of options,

A lot of options to make something to store these fruits.

So why didn't I hesitate?

No, why did I do it?

I wanted to know..

I wanted to know if hesitation still lingers in my heart.

If I'm still the same.

And I got the answer.

I still do.

I still do

Pain makes me hesitate.

It does.

It really does.

But pain doesn't linger long, does it?

A certain god's blessing doesn't allow it, does it?

Pain no longer remains on my body.

And I fear hesitation will disappear along with it, gradually.

I never asked for this.

It hurts.

I know it hurts but the feeling of hurt doesn't remain.

Why?

Why was I the one who received a blessing?

It wasn't even a ritual for his blessings, it was a sacrifice for more corrupted creatures.

So why?

Did the horned god think it was hilarious?

To give a man who resents the gods a blessing from a god himself?

Resentment.

Now that I think about it, why do I resent them?

Is it due to their indifference to the sufferings of the mortals?

I'm the same, I, too, am indifferent.

However I'm helpless, the gods on the other hand are said to be omnipotent.

Is it due to their pettiness?

The myth of the Arcas bear and the Callisto bear might not even be true.

So why do I hate them?

Inferiority.

I hate them due to that.

I hate them due to their superiority over me.

Over us mortals.

The splashing water disappeared which caused me to focus on the real world instead of my musings.

The fog has gotten too dense that even Sero couldn't be visible.

Only a faint light remained.

Callon had slowed him pace and has gotten closer to me.

The solid ground met my feet, everything including even the islands have disappeared.

The fog twisted and swirled, I and Calllon stood, we cannot afford to seperate like the previous time.

The fog started to form incomprehensible shapes, an outline formed infront of us.

An outline of a door.

Bright light shone through, my hopes increased.

Maybe it won't be dangerous as the barren lands.

No, it had a name.

The barren lands had a name.

Edom.

A name forgotten by memories and time.

I hope it's not as dangerous as Edom.

Callon walked ahead, getting closer to the exit.

I looked back, no islands or water came in sight, they have disappeared.

Vanished.

Almost as if forgotten.

I sighed, temporary relief like these were always welcomed.

Let's hope for a better future.

As I and Callon were about to step inside the door.

The ground vanished.

It vanished without notice, it was there and now it's not.

Unable to react we couldn't resist.

The ground became intangible, it became fog.

And we fell.

Gravity took place, our weight shifted and momentary fear and shock took over.

The fruits were gathered were almost lost but we held through.

We were swallowed by the fog.