End of the World Broadcast

Food that could last a month if rationed carefully.
Water stored in several thermos bottles after boiling clean snow.
And warm shoes and clothes to endure the brutal cold.
“Hmm… it seems like I’ve packed everything I need to pack.”
It had already been a little over a week since I arrived at the train station, and during that time, I prepared to leave the city every single day without fail.
Whenever there was enough light seeping in that I could see ahead without a flashlight, I always wandered around the train station looking for useful items.
Then when night fell and it became so dark that I couldn’t see an inch ahead, I would return to the management room, take out all the items in my bag.
I repeatedly reorganized them so that the items I had collected all day could fit in as much as possible.

[If you can only move when the weather clears anyway, couldn’t you rest a bit in the meantime?]
[Haven’t you already collected a lot of food? No matter how much you collect, you won’t be able to carry it all because it’s too heavy.]

I wonder if people found it strange that I kept moving without resting for even a day, even a moment.
When I was busy searching through bags and moving things, messages like these occasionally came, not understanding me.

[She hasn’t rested for a single day since starting the broadcast, I think she should rest a bit before going outside.]
“You’re right. If resources were scarce, that would be one thing, but when resources are abundant like now… I don’t necessarily need to be moving around so diligently.”
Such concerns from people were not wrong.
I was fortunate enough to be near a large supermarket and train station, experiencing an unprecedentedly abundant time.
I, who always had to count the remaining number when opening a can of food due to hunger, could now eat without worry whenever I was hungry.
And for the first time, I who wandered the streets every night looking for a place to sleep even slightly warmly, had a comfortable accommodation.
There was no need to strain my legs in such a situation.
My bag was already full, and even if I brought new items, most would have to be left outside.
And as I said, I already had all the basic necessities for survival, so even if I spent all day searching through bags, there weren’t many things to pack.
Logically thinking, when the situation was this good, it would have been right to enjoy the rest I usually couldn’t indulge in and replenish my strength for traversing the snow field.
But.

“Should I call it a habit… or inertia? It’s not so easy to stop doing what I’ve been doing naturally until now.”
I know in my head that it’s okay to stay still. Yet, I just couldn’t sit and rest.
Even when lying on a chair with the backrest reclined, enjoying rest, seeing the darkness lifting from the city and buildings would make my body move as if bewitched.
If I tried to suppress that impulse, an inexplicable anxiety would rise from deep within my heart, and while my body might be comfortable, my mind would become devastated and unbearable.

“…It’s already been several weeks since we started talking through this drone, right? And thankfully, for weeks, I haven’t gone to sleep hungry or shivering in the cold. I always had extra food in my bag, and there was always a warm home nearby, even if a bit dirty.”
Before, I once smiled and told the drone that my mood state was basically proportional to how heavy my bag was and how much food was in it.
Since I was in such a good mood at that time, I said it with a hehe laugh, so it might have sounded like a joke to the listener.
But… that statement wasn’t a joke at all.

“You know, being hungry with nothing to eat right away is really… really scary and painful? Of course, for those of you living in abundant environments, such a story might be unfamiliar, and you might not be able to empathize with my story.”
A hungry stomach cries out in pain beyond just emptiness, and the muscles supporting the body lose strength, making it impossible to even walk carrying an empty bag.
Then as one approaches the limit, consciousness becomes impaired, and memory and vision repeatedly cut out and return, so that the next moment after thinking you’ve taken just one step, you find yourself collapsed on the floor.
Thinking you’ll surely die at this rate, you try to put anything in your mouth, be it snow or paper, but there’s no way strength will return to your body that way.

“…Remember when I told you that after I fell into this world alone, I stayed holed up for a while, doing nothing, just hoping to wake up from this nightmare? This is from that time, I thought I was really going to die.”
How desperate I was when I saw that the shelves of the convenience store, which I had searched for thinking there would be something to eat there, were empty, collapsing several times along the way.
If I hadn’t miraculously found a can of food that someone had been tightly gripping in an alley near the convenience store, I would no longer be in this world.

“If I remember correctly, that canned food I ate then was ‘silkworm pupae’? It looked like a weird cockroach colony, but at that time, it tasted like the most delicious food in the world.”
…Actually, if I tried to eat it now, the moment I opened the lid, despite its nutty taste, the shocking appearance would make me retch first.

“Anyway, after nearly starving to death like that, I thought: Ah. If I want to live even a little longer, I shouldn’t just stay still. I need to move when the world is still bright and there’s strength in my body.”
People’s thinking patterns and behaviors are greatly influenced by the environment they’re born and raised in.
Of course, I wasn’t born in this world… but since I had a new body and had to learn new knowledge in a completely different environment, wouldn’t it be fair to say I was reborn?

“And I’ve often said, haven’t I? Living in this world, I keep doubting whether I’m really alive, or if I’ve already come to the afterlife.”
Maybe because it’s such a quiet world, such thoughts intensify when lying still in a small room doing nothing.
It was so bad that I’ve bitten my nails until they bled or scratched my frozen, numbed feet until I felt pain, wanting to get proof that I was alive.

“When I’m focused on something, like fixing the drone or drawing maps, it’s somewhat okay… but now there’s really nothing to do until the weather clears, right? That’s why I’m like this.”
This personality and behavior of mine is clearly wrong.
But I hope you understand a bit… that to somehow survive in a wrong world, I had no choice but to be like this.

“Ugh, talking about my bad points is really difficult and… embarrassing.”
I got into a flow and talked continuously, but once I finished speaking, I immediately became embarrassed. I shouldn’t have said it. What if they think I’m a strange person for saying such things?
No, I’m already a strange person in many ways… but I hope they don’t think I’m a bad person, or someone they wouldn’t want to keep close.

Fanning my burning face, I look at the drone hovering right next to my face.
Clearly, unlike human pupils, no gaze or emotion can be felt from the lens.
Strangely, when the drone is right beside me, it feels like a real person is next to me, making me unconsciously say various things.
…They didn’t inject something like a truth serum while I was sleeping, did they?

“Still─ I’m glad that there haven’t been such painful or sad things since meeting you all.”
Come to think of it, since meeting the drone, things have always gone smoothly.
I’ve never been short on food, nor have I wandered unable to find a destination.

“I haven’t always lived a life of scarcity, but this is the first time such a comfortable period has lasted so long.”
[Really?]
“Oh, a new message came… it’s like it continues the conversation.”
Really, sending messages like this, I can’t know which of my stories from yesterday they’re responding to.
It must be a coincidence, but the timing is incredible, I chuckle.

“Haah. Saying all this luck is thanks to you all… would be a bit of an exaggeration, right?”
Being able to wander alone in this train station without feeling lonely and being able to smile is all thanks to the drone and the people beyond it.
If the day comes when I actually see these people.
Thank you for making me smile.
Thank you for giving me hope, I must convey that.

“Alright, everyone. Finally, the day we’ve been waiting for─ and waiting for has come.”
Several days later, in the morning.
The snow that seemed like it would never end stopped.
It looks like it might disappear at any moment, but because of that, a more brilliant blue colored the horizon.

“It’s amazing how the world that usually feels so gloomy looks peaceful and beautiful just because the weather has cleared. Isn’t that strange?”
It feels as if I can hear birds chirping with beautiful sounds, the conversations of people playing there, and the sound of car horns blocked by accumulated snow on the roads.

“Indeed, when setting out on a journey, it should be on a day with such good weather. I’m telling you, you should depart on a day so bright that it makes you smile naturally.”
Giggling at the drone, saying it was worth the long wait, I quickly returned to the management room where I had been staying.

“Thank you for allowing me to spend warm nights all this time.”
Shouldering the bag that I had organized every night so that I could leave immediately when the weather cleared.
I say goodbye to the desk and chair I had grown somewhat attached to.

“We probably won’t meet again, but I hope you’ll be well.”
All objects and places in the world change their form moment by moment, influenced by the passage of time and the touch of people who pass through.
But in this city, the people who should lead change are gone, and only winter, which seems eternal, remains.
Once I, the last visitor, leave, the current appearance will be maintained until the buildings collapse due to the passage of time, barring any special events.

“This is a gift. I don’t usually do this kind of thing, but since it’s a farewell and I’ve been taken care of for several days… I’ll leave it here like this.”
I took out a piece of paper, wrote various letters on it, and placed it on the empty desk.

“Since it’s a warm place where not even a breeze enters when the door is closed, it will probably remain like this even without being fixed with tape.”
If for some reason the paper leaves the desk one day.
That would be a good thing in its own way.

“Alright! Now I’m really setting off!”
.
.
.
The train station, which had found some vitality due to the wanderer who visited after a very long time, fell into eternal sleep as she set out for the next city.
The place where the wanderer, who walked her own path free from all interests, stayed looked almost the same as before she arrived.
The only difference was a single piece of paper left on the grayish-white desk.
[Remember that we were here, as we will also remember.]
The words and memories left by the wanderer, who acknowledged that she might be the last, will remain eternally in the frozen time, as she said when she left.