DanMachi: Cheat? What's a Cheat?

Chapter 25 – The Terrifying Genius

I thought, with my knowledge about goblin weaknesses and healing potions in my bag, I had enough confidence to beat that senior goblin.

Turns out I was totally overestimating myself.

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Right now I'm on dungeon floor 1.

I'm standing in front of a goblin holding a rusty dagger with an angry and slightly desperate expression.

It's been four days since I first met that senior goblin.

Seven days since I arrived in Orario city.

No wait, it's been a week since I arrived in Orario.

You know how I've been living for these past four days?

I'm so pissed I almost collapsed from my blood pressure spiking.

That senior goblin, who knows where it came from, but since we first met, it's always been targeting me.

Every morning I'd come to floor 1, killing goblins casually like floor 1 was my backyard.

With my knowledge and experience, it was super easy to beat the monsters on floor 1.

I was even getting a bit bored.

Felt like floor 1 was too easy and I'd only spend half an hour clearing it.

Still had an hour and a half left, so I could go to floor 2.

Anyway,

I'd come to the dungeon at 4 AM to clear goblins before other adventurers showed up.

Since I started coming at dawn and killing goblins, my excelia gathering became crazy fast.

I could get 10-15 stat points per attribute.

Even though the amount of excelia I got was small, I could make up for it with quantity.

I felt like if this kept up, I'd need about 2 months to reach S-rank stats in one attribute.

Made me almost happy - I was so happy I even hugged goddess Hestia out of joy.

This was just floor 1, what if I went to floor 2? Wouldn't it be even faster?

The perfect "early bird catches the worm" strategy, or so I thought.

But my plan didn't go smoothly.

Every time I was about to go to floor 2, that senior goblin would always show up.

Blocking my good deeds.

I'd even get scared from being startled when this goblin suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Even other adventurers couldn't find it.

Does this goblin have some invisibility item?

It blocks me. Like a security guard who's super serious about guarding the gate to floor 2.

Four days of meeting this goblin made me realize how weak I am.

I can't even beat a goblin.

I always run away in an embarrassing state because I lose.

My pride as a human is completely destroyed, I'm starting to doubt myself.

I know with my stat point increases, my strength is improving.

You could say me and this senior goblin are pretty balanced in terms of physical strength.

Since our physical strength is balanced, the winner between me and the senior goblin is determined by fighting technique.

I stare at that green head in front of me, the anger that's been building up for four days finally overflows.

Forget all the questions.

Forget my doubts.

Today, I'm gonna beat you.

I laugh inside my head... I feel like finally today I won't have to be angry anymore.

But I still have questions.

Why is it targeting me? Is it because I'm weak? Or does it have some personal grudge?

I don't get it, maybe this goblin has brain problems.

Without thinking twice, I charge forward, pouring everything I have into my first sword swing.

During these four days, at least my sword skills have improved drastically thanks to my DEX attribute increase.

Horizontal slashes, vertical, diagonal - I let them all out with confidence.

But even though it's dangerous, that goblin stays super chill.

Using that rusty dagger that looks like it's decades old, it parries every one of my attacks easily.

Not parrying, but deflecting.

Seems like that goblin knows its dagger is fragile.

Deflecting my attacks, that goblin counter-attacks.

That goblin's attacks are super fast, strong, and more importantly, perfect.

The fight between me and the senior goblin officially starts.

While fighting, I'm struggling a bit and can't even make the goblin get serious.

Like I'm a little kid using a toy sword.

It doesn't even make growling sounds like normal goblins.

Just eyes that stare at me with... an evaluating expression?

Always like this, those eyes. Never serious.

That gaze that doesn't take its opponent seriously is an effective way to make your opponent lose confidence.

And I admit I'm losing confidence a bit.

Especially after being defeated several times.

In this fight, I also realized this goblin is a fighting genius.

How could it not be? Every time we fight, I feel like this goblin gets more skilled at fighting.

Is this a genius that develops every time it fights?

If this goblin is a genius,

Then what am I?

Trash? Or untalented?

It's even copying the sword style I've been training for years.

It wouldn't matter if it was just copying, but when it copies, I feel like it's perfecting it.

Yeah, not only is my sword technique being copied, but it's being made better than mine.

It's like my sword is expert level, while its is master level.

This breaks my heart, I worked so hard my hands bled during training.

But this goblin copies it just from a few fights.

Is this what NPCs feel like in comics and novels where the protagonist has the talent to copy something after seeing it once?

Taking all our hard work from several years?

Makes me angry and wonder, are geniuses this scary? I trained for years, but it copies in just a few days.

Who's the one working hard here?

"This isn't fair!" I yell while launching a desperate attack.

My attack gets parried easily.

Right then, that rusty dagger in the goblin's hand finally breaks, making me happy.

The opportunity has come.

"Finally! Now we're even—"

But I'm shocked.

That goblin immediately throws the broken dagger at me, making me raise my sword to block it.

Good reflexes, I think.

But that goblin moves fast, gets right in front of me and attacks me brutally using its elbow.

Not using its sharp claws.

Seems like it doesn't even intend to kill me.

It even attacks my hands, making my sword slip away.

And kicks that sword away with a movement that's... artistic?

Are this goblin's martial arts skills also scary? Did it copy them from adventurers who fight using their bodies?

I get beaten up like a punching bag.

Losing my sword, I'm helpless.

I realize I don't have any self-defense skills.

I realize I'm too dependent on my sword.

In other words, losing my sword, I'm helpless.

I fight back with amateur punches, but that goblin dodges easily.

I get beaten up, but I don't feel the pain.

I know I'll feel the pain after the fight ends.

My breathing is ragged, the salty taste of blood fills my mouth.

I lose.

Again.

Thinking like that, I quickly retreat.

I also know that during several fights with this senior goblin, it seems like it doesn't want to kill me.

Is it playing cat and mouse? How ironic, I'm now living under someone else's mercy.

Because the other party doesn't want to kill me.

For some reason I feel my chest tighten - is it pain from being hit or pain because I feel my confidence is destroyed?

I clench my fists tightly, even my hands are shaking a bit.

I'm so angry, where my life and death is determined by someone else.

I feel angry, not angry at that senior goblin, but at myself.

Why am I weak?

My clenched fists shake even more. Like they can feel the emotions inside me.

Even though I'm angry, I can't do anything.

Is this my fault? Obviously I'm not at fault.

I've been working hard.

But I know even though I'm powerless now doesn't mean I'll be powerless in the future.

However, as long as I'm given time to grow, I can beat this goblin.

Thinking like that, I slowly unclench my fists.

I slowly stare at it, that goblin just stands there.

It doesn't chase.

It doesn't growl.

It just... stares at me. Not with a predator's gaze, but a... empty gaze?

It's precisely because it doesn't act like a normal monster that makes it truly terrifying. In this absurd situation, maybe only equally absurd actions could work. In total desperation, a crazy idea crosses my mind.

"Hey," I call out with a shaky voice.

"Can we talk?"

That goblin stares at me with sharp red eyes. Doesn't move.

"I mean, you're a genius, right? You must have a brain for communication, right?"

Still no response.

"Okay, okay. How about this," I raise my hands like I'm surrendering.

"I'll back away slowly, you also back away slowly. We can respect each other's personal space."

I feel embarrassed, how many times have I lost to this goblin? I'm even really good at stringing words together so I can retreat safely.

That goblin tilts its head. Like a confused dog.

"Or... or do you wanna be my friend? I can teach you other sword techniques. Though it seems like you're already better than me."

No response. But I swear I see a bit of... annoyed expression? On its face.

"Alright, how about we split territories? You guard floor 1, I go to floor 2. Win-win solution!"

That goblin suddenly moves. I almost jump in fear, but it just... sits. Sits while staring at me with eyes that seem to be evaluating what I'm saying with a confused expression.

"Oh, you... you're sitting. That's... that's good. Non-verbal communication. I appreciate that."

I back away slowly, still nervously rambling. "So, we're in agreement, right? You rest here, I'll leave peacefully. Nobody needs to die today."

Obviously if a fight happens, I'm the one who'll die. I'm clearly fooling that goblin.

That goblin doesn't chase. It just sits there, watching me retreat with a very... human expression.

Like someone watching a comedy show that's not funny, I know that goblin doesn't think like that. Obviously only I feel like I'm a comedy clown.

I know that goblin probably doesn't understand what I'm saying, still staring at me confused.

"Alright, see you later, friend... uh, enemy... uh, weird acquaintance," I wave awkwardly.

As I slowly retreat toward the exit of floor 1, I look back again. That goblin is still sitting there, but now it looks... reluctant and annoyed?

Is it reluctant for its punching bag to leave - I mean its sparring partner?

"This goblin is really weird," I mutter while slowly retreating.

"And somehow, that makes it even more terrifying."