Come Back

Jeong Ji-in, Lee Han, and Manager Kang—he knew well what those around him were worried about. If you chase the shadow of the deceased too much, you lose the vitality of the living. That’s why they say the living must live.

But he still couldn’t let go.

He already knew that the effort to forget was more painful than clinging to the specter and suffering from longing.

If time gradually wears it down, then that’s something he couldn’t avoid.

But while his feelings still wanted that child, he just wanted to follow them faithfully.

The child, who couldn’t ask for help from anyone, who suffered alone, lonely and miserable—if he tried to settle his feelings for that child, it felt like the child’s place in this world would completely disappear. Forgetting, trying to forget, felt like pushing that child away, urging them to go to the other world. He couldn’t do that, and he didn’t want to.

As long as he could, he wanted to remember for as long as possible, and love for as far into the future as he could. If they had been together, it would have been the same. Even if that person was no longer by his side, nothing would change.

That’s why he hadn’t cleaned out the room they used, nor had he detached himself from the movie. He wanted the warmth of Choi Hong-seo, who had once existed in this world, to remain for as long as possible.

Lee Hye-seong ran his hands over his face, lifting his head from where it had been resting.

Then he stared at the still-empty spot beside him.

It hadn’t been something lost gradually.

He had clearly touched, kissed, made eye contact, buried his nose in their scent, held them in his arms, yet in the next moment, without any warning, it was taken away. Like smoke, it had vanished.

Perhaps because he had lost them in that way, without any preparation, without even an inkling of the loss, that was why his lingering attachment was so deep. Slowly crumbling away was different from suddenly vanishing—it was a completely different kind of shock.

He still wanted to love more.

Unrequited love was, after all, love done alone. Who says you can’t love someone who doesn’t exist in the world?

So much love remained, love that he hadn’t been able to give, with nowhere to put it, and so he would love until it was exhausted.

“Hmm…”

With a sigh that seemed almost like a groan, Lee Hye-seong stood up. His figure, dragging his soul like it was scraping the floor, slowly crossed the parlor. His shadow stretched long on the marble floor.

He turned one last time to look around the room. The mysterious, empty space illuminated by moonlight felt like a tomb, where the memories they had shared here were buried.

He left the parlor, leaving the door ajar by about an inch.

A few days later, after updating the latest information on Song Hyun-su, he headed to Daehak-ro.

■

Late at night, even though it was the weekend, the bar located on the edge of Daehak-ro was quiet. It wasn’t exactly in the best location, and the bar itself wasn’t very trendy.

Yet, the orange light filtering through the arched lattice windows seemed quite cozy.

“Vice President, I think it’s time to go in.”

A quiet voice from the driver’s seat reminded him of the time.

Watching the people’s smiling faces through the window, Lee Hye-seong drew on his cigarette filter before turning his head.

The car’s monitor showed 1:45 AM.

He crushed the half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray. He had purposely waited for this time. In about 15 minutes, it would be Song Hyun-su’s quitting time.

He got out of the back seat and walked directly toward the entrance. As expected, a small piece of paper was hanging on the door.

The interior of the bar was much like he had imagined, except for two things: it was larger and more crowded than he had expected.

“Welcome.”

R&B musician Babyface’s music flowed lazily through the air, and instead of overhead lighting, each table had a small tea light candle illuminating the room. A perfect 90s vibe. After briefly taking in the interior, Lee Hye-seong began searching for Song Hyun-su. He easily found him making cocktails behind the bar counter.

Lee Hye-seong took a seat at the end of the counter.

As Song Hyun-su smiled his customer service smile toward him, his face shifted with a subtle change. The moment Lee Hye-seong saw that, he immediately knew.

This wasn’t the face of someone who recognized ARA’s Lee Hye-seong; it was the face of someone recognizing the lover of his close friend, who had turned away from the world.

“This is your first time here, isn’t it?”

But the expression lasted only a moment. As he placed the menu book on the counter, Song Hyun-su’s face quickly reverted to the same demeanor he used when greeting other customers.

Lee Hye-seong pushed the worn, thin book back toward Song Hyun-su and said, “I’ll have what you recommend.”

A good bartender was one who could read a customer’s taste, mood, and condition through their clothing, behavior, expression, and tone of voice, and then create a cocktail that matched those cues.

“I’ll prepare it for you,” Song Hyun-su responded with a relaxed smile, not hesitating to begin making the cocktail. In between, he chatted with the other customers at the counter.

It was the first time Lee Hye-seong saw Song Hyun-su in person, though he had read about him in the reports.

He was one of the few people Choi Hong-seo had grown close to and tried to hold onto.

He had once thought poorly of Song Hyun-su and the members of ‘Layered’ for exploiting Hong-seo, accusing them of leeching off him—victims who had been exploited like Hong-seo, at the hands of Myung Do-hoon.

For that reason, Lee Hye-seong didn’t feel any sentimental attachment toward Song Hyun-su.

Still, there was something about him that felt strangely familiar.

Feeling affection for someone just because they were close to a friend—this was a new experience for Lee Hye-seong, who had been trained to think objectively and rationally as part of ARA.

Even though Choi Hong-seo was no longer here, he had still given Lee Hye-seong new emotions and experiences. How could he forget? It was as if Hong-seo was still alive.

Lost in such thoughts, Lee Hye-seong bitterly chuckled to himself as the bartender placed a cocktail on the coaster.

“This is the cocktail I recommend to you.”

“……”

Song Hyun-su didn’t bother to mention the name of the cocktail. He stood facing Lee Hye-seong, waiting for him to taste it, his gaze not leaving him.

Lee Hye-seong took a small sip of the transparent light green cocktail and smiled without saying a word. It wasn’t a mocking or cynical smile, but one that seemed warm and relaxed, a smile that released the tension in his shoulders.

“It’s a Gimlet,” he said.

“Gin and lime juice, mixed 1:1. These days, a lot of places make their Gimlets a bit zestier, though,” the bartender explained.

As described, it was a proper Gimlet with an alcohol content of 30%.

As the strong alcohol slid down his throat, Lee Hye-seong glanced at Song Hyun-su standing before him.

“I must look like someone pricked by a pin,” he remarked.

“You don’t… seem like you’d be enjoying yourself,” Song Hyun-su replied.

“Right. You’re right,” Lee Hye-seong nodded, rubbing his jaw in a wide motion.

The word “Gimlet” referred to a type of screw-shaped tool with a T-shaped handle, known for its sharp, piercing taste. The Gimlet that Song Hyun-su served wasn’t sweetened with sugar, nor was it made zestier by increasing the lime juice ratio. True to its name, it felt like being pricked by a pin in the throat. It was a cocktail that suited Lee Hye-seong’s current state perfectly.

Though he hadn’t seen Song Hyun-su’s performance before, it was clear that he had the potential to become a great bartender.

“I think you know who I am already. Can you spare some time after you finish work today?” Lee Hye-seong asked.

As expected, Song Hyun-su wasn’t flustered.

“I’ll be off in about 10 minutes. There’s a quiet bar nearby; please wait there. I can’t really talk here since this is where I work…”

After finishing the Gimlet, Lee Hye-seong left the bar first.

The bar Song Hyun-su had directed him to was located in a more secluded area. It was a record bar, where an older man ran the bar alone, his shelves lined with records behind the counter.

There were only two customers, and the owner seemed uninterested in making money, fully absorbed in a conversation about life with the regulars, who looked like old friends.

Lee Hye-seong sat at the farthest table and ordered a glass of whiskey.

About five minutes later, Song Hyun-su arrived.

He took off his large crossbody bag and placed it on the seat beside him. He ordered the same drink as Lee Hye-seong. The bartender, who seemed to recognize them, set down Song Hyun-su’s glass and gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze.

“You don’t seem that surprised,” the bartender commented.

“You mean, Lee Hye-seong from ARA came by?” Song Hyun-su responded.

“Ah, should I call you Mr. Lee Hye-seong?” He added, tilting his head in confusion as he muttered to himself.

“I guess you’ve heard a bit about me from Hong-seo?”

Lee Hye-seong had heard it from Jeong Ji-in. Song Hyun-su seemed to know at least a little about the relationship between Lee Hye-seong and Choi Hong-seo.

“Yes,” Lee Hye-seong replied.

“How much do you know exactly?”

“……”

It was a look as if asking, “Why are you asking about that?” Lee Hye-seong silently urged him to continue with his response.

“I might have been able to open up to him more than others because our situations were similar, but neither Hong-seo nor I are the type to talk about personal stuff to others,” Song Hyun-su said, swirling his glass with ice to dilute the whiskey, furrowing his brow as he tried to recall the details.

“He’d always be smiling in front of the camera, but he never smiled in real life. So, when I saw him grinning around, I kept bothering him to ask about it. At first, he tried to play it cool, but after a few days of pestering, he finally confessed.”

“…”

“He admitted he was in a relationship.”

Lee Hye-seong, who had been quietly listening without a hint of movement, suddenly looked unsettled. His gaze darted around the room, his lips twitching as if he were about to say something, and he scratched his lips several times. Then, he drank the strong liquor in his glass.

*Hoo…*

As he put his glass down, Lee Hye-seong exhaled deeply.

Hearing what Hong-seo had said about him and their relationship from a third party made it harder to bear.

“When he found out it was ARA Electronics’ Lee Hye-seong… honestly, I didn’t think of it as a relationship.”

“…”

“They’re just a chaebol and some celebrity. Either way, people would just assume it’s a sponsorship, no matter what the truth is. I don’t care if it’s sponsorship or a relationship, as long as the person treats Hong-seo well and cares for him, even if it’s a chaebol. Actually…”

Song Hyun-su shook his head firmly and looked directly at Lee Hye-seong. Under the dim lights of the bar, his soft gaze looked slightly moist.

“I think it actually worked out better that the person who took care of Hong-seo was a chaebol. While he was under their shadow, even for a short time, maybe Hong-seo could have been at ease.”

As he spoke, Song Hyun-su’s gaze dropped lower, and his voice gradually softened. After sipping his whiskey, still not fully melted by the ice, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and added in a casual tone.

“I’m a lot more calculating than that guy.”