Chronicles of the Lazy Sovereign

Chapter 17: Fox-Dog Jang Il (3)

Just like that, Wi Yeonho seized control of the Gaebong Branch in an instant.

"I'm thirsty..."

"Bring water!"

"...The bowl is dirty."

"Then pour it into a clean bowl, you clueless beggar bastard!"

"It's lukewarm, though."

"Go up the mountain and bring down some cold, clean water! How many times do I have to say it before you understand!"

Wi Yeonho felt like he was in heaven. Just by opening his mouth, everything was resolved. To lie down and enjoy this level of luxury—this was something he had never experienced even at home.

‘Maybe being a beggar actually suits me?’

Once he let everything go and accepted that he was a beggar, a whole new world opened up.

In contrast, the beggars of the Beggar Sect were living in hell.

“H-Have we gotten a reply to the request we sent to the General Bureau?”

“They said it would take seven days and nights…”

“Who the hell says that kind of information takes seven days and nights? Go tell them to get it now before I go there and wreck everything myself!”

“Yes, understood!”

Wi Yeonho stretched lazily.

“Mmm, can I go out for a bit?”

“W-What’s the matter? What do you need to go out for?”

Cold sweat trickled down Jang Il’s forehead.

From their perspective, Wi Yeonho was like a walking bomb. Even without begging, just being seen by people was enough to threaten their survival—he was a terrifying God of Calamity.

“I just want to sit under the warm sun a little.”

“What’s the problem with that! Beggars, tear down the roof!”

“T-The roof? Branch Leader! If we lose the roof, we’ll be soaked in the rain and freeze to death.”

“You want your guts torn out?”

“I’ll tear it off.”

Wi Yeonho frowned.

“But then it’ll be cold at night.”

“You heard that? Put it back up at night!”

“…Yes.”

In the three days they waited for information, Jang Il nearly withered.

He couldn’t eat, and cold sweat poured from him constantly. Meanwhile, Wi Yeonho spent his time rolling around on the bed.

Even with everyone doting on him, anyone would’ve gotten bored after lying around for three days—but Wi Yeonho didn’t show any sign of wanting to get up.

Every meal came with the finest dishes, and every sip of water was clean, cool, and fresh—brought down from a mountaintop stream.

If it got too hot, people fanned him from all directions. If it got too cold, he was wrapped in the finest mandarin duck silk bedding. It was a little dirty, sure, but by Wi Yeonho’s standards, this place was a true paradise.

Over the course of those three days, Jang Il and the beggars wasted away.

“Branch Leader, at this rate, we’ll be the ones who die first.”

“Nngh, is the information still not here?”

“They said it’s coming soon. But we have no idea what ‘soon’ actually means…”

“Should I go meet the King Beggar myself or what!”

“Instead of this, why don’t we come up with a new plan?”

“A new plan?”

“Well, since there’s nowhere for it to leak… we could do it without a trace…”

"You, are you some kind of demonic head from the unorthodox sects? How could you even think of killing someone!"

"But the situation is…"

"Nngh."

To be honest, Jang Il had also entertained that thought.

The problem was, if even the smallest rumor spread that the beggars of the Beggar Sect had killed a pitiful high beggar, then it was possible the entire beggar population in Kaifeng would be wiped out.

"Let’s just wait for now. And spread the word—quietly—that the beggars of the Beggar Sect have taken in and are caring for that poor fellow."

"Shall we manipulate public opinion?"

"…Quietly."

"Understood."

Another day passed, and a message finally arrived from the General Bureau. Jang Il grabbed the letter and sprinted like the wind to Wi Yeonho.

"H-Here! This is the information you wanted!"

"Oh, really? That was quick."

"Go ahead, read it. And then…"

‘Please, just leave. Go drown in sewage already!’

The rest he couldn’t bring himself to say aloud.

"Hmm…"

As Wi Yeonho flipped through the papers, he frowned.

"This is it?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're trying to sell this as intel?"

Jang Il snatched the documents from Wi Yeonho and frantically read through them.

"Nngh."

The so-called information was half-written and half-listed as unknown.

It was a patchy report with bits of actual intelligence scattered throughout.

"T-This really is the best we could get…"

"Are you sure?"

"Beggars only have access to rumors and hearsay. And besides, we mostly focus on gathering martial-related intel…"

"So the Beggar Sect isn’t all that great after all? Can’t even beg properly, can’t gather information either."

"Urgh…"

Jang Il's pride as a Beggar Sect member was shattered.

"Even so, you should’ve filled in the gaps. What is this? What am I supposed to do with this? Ugh, well, can’t be helped. I’ll wait a bit longer—bring me some proper information next time."

"…More?"

"Obviously."

"But the thing is… If you want more than this, the price goes up significantly…"

Wi Yeonho rose to his feet.

"Then I guess there’s no helping it."

"Are you leaving?"

"I’ll be back this evening."

"Huh? Where are you going?"

"You said you need money, right? Gotta earn it."

Jang Il lunged forward and grabbed Wi Yeonho, pulling him back down.

"P-Please calm down! There’s a way! I’m sure there’s a way!"

"Money is the way."

"To be honest, this just isn’t the kind of intel the Beggar Sect can collect. No matter how much money you pour in, you won’t get the structured information you want!"

"Hmm?"

"This isn't really our area of expertise… Ah! That’s it!"

"What is?"

"Follow me! I’ll show you the information!"

Wi Yeonho and Jang Il headed into the bustling streets of Kaifeng.

"You’re giving me intel here?"

"No, more precisely, it’s inside here."

Realizing Jang Il’s incompetence, Wi Yeonho’s tone had grown noticeably more casual. Wi Yeonho always adjusted his speech depending on whether the person he was dealing with was capable or not.

"Hm?"

Jang Il led the way into an alley tucked away in the bustling district.

"Why are we going deeper into some shady spot? You trying to silence me?"

"No! This is the destination!"

Jang Il protested as if deeply wronged.

Silence him? Kill and erase him?

Surely not. The Beggar Sect was still an orthodox sect of some renown, and he was the Branch Leader—there was no way he'd be involved in something like that.

He continued weaving through the alleys until he finally stopped at a small side door tucked in the farthest corner and knocked.

After a short wait, an annoyed voice came from within.

"Who is it?"

"It’s Jang Il."

"Jang Il?"

"Beggar Jang Il."

"...Come in."

When the door opened, Jang Il pulled Wi Yeonho inside. Despite its shabby exterior, the inside was surprisingly spacious.

The air was thick with smoke, and gambling was going on in every corner of the room.

"A gambling den?"

"Just follow me."

Jang Il confidently moved deeper inside and stopped in front of a door at the back. There, some large men blocked their path.

"What is this?"

"I'm Jang Il from the Beggar Sect. I'm here to see the Hall Leader."

"Jang Il, you say?"

The men looked Jang Il up and down, then nodded.

"Wait here."

One of them went inside, and soon after, the door opened.

Jang Il strode in without hesitation, and Wi Yeonho followed behind him.

Inside the door, they emerged once more into an open space.

"A house?"

Though they had entered a building, what lay before them was a fairly large house.

However, the house was surrounded on all sides by walls, with only this single entrance as the way out.

Jang Il opened the door and stepped inside.

"Is the Hall Leader here?"

A woman greeted them from within.

"How unusual. For the 'Fox-Dog' to come here."

She had an exceptionally unique appearance, but Wi Yeonho wasn’t interested in that.

"'Fox-Dog'?"

Jang Il gave a bitter smile.

"It’s my alias."

"Your alias is 'Fox-Dog'? Because you’re sly like a fox and clingy like a dog?"

"Because I’m clever and loyal!"

"Same difference. Still, ‘Fox-Dog’… Fox-Dog? You know that sounds like ‘chump’ or ‘sucker,’ right?"

"Nngh…"

Jang Il grabbed his head in frustration.

"Fox-Dog? Your alias is Fox-Dog? Who gets stuck with such a dumb-sounding alias?"

Tears welled up at the corner of Jang Il’s eyes.

How had he ended up with such a ridiculous alias?

Trying desperately to ignore Wi Yeonho, who was clutching his stomach and laughing hysterically, Jang Il turned to the woman in front of him.

"I need information."

"Truly unusual. The Branch Leader of the Gaebong Beggar Sect comes to the Hao Clan asking for information?"

"…The situation’s just turned out that way."

"Is this an official request from the Beggar Sect?"

"It’s not."

At Jang Il’s firm reply, the woman waved her hand dismissively.

"Then there’s no reason to answer. You can leave."

"I’m not the one asking! I brought a client."

"A client?"

"This man here."

Jang Il pointed at Wi Yeonho.

The woman gave her honest impression as she looked at Wi Yeonho.

"…You're a beggar."

"I’m telling you I'm not! Geez!"

Wi Yeonho felt wronged. But the woman looked even more baffled.

"Are you joking with me right now? This isn't even an official request from the Beggar Sect, and your client is a beggar?"

"A-A beggar isn't necessarily part of the Beggar Sect! I swear, this man is absolutely not one of us!"

"For someone called 'Fox-Dog', your tricks are awfully shallow. We’re done here—see yourselves out."

"I'm telling you, he's really not part of the Beggar Sect. Seriously, come on, this is so frustrating."

Jang Il felt like tearing his hair out.

He had to resolve things here, or he’d never get rid of this damn disaster incarnate. But the Kaifeng Hall Leader of the Hao Clan simply refused to believe him.

"Say something, will you?"

"I'm really not from the Beggar Sect."

"Let’s not play with words here."

"I'm serious."

"…"

The woman’s irritation surged.

Kaifeng was home to the General Bureau of the Beggar Sect.

The Hao Clan, whose business ran on information, considered the Beggar Sect one of its most troublesome enemies. As such, the Kaifeng Hall of the Hao Clan was, in a way, both its most dangerous and most important outpost.

Though they acknowledged each other’s existence and avoided overt hostility, an unspoken rivalry constantly simmered beneath the surface.

The relationship between the Beggar Sect and the Hao Clan was like that of two predators living in the same den—forced to coexist, yet forever on guard.

And now, the Branch Leader of the Beggar Sect—no less than the Kaifeng Branch Leader himself—had the audacity to come here seeking information.

With a stunt like this. Dragging along someone who was obviously a beggar and claiming he wasn’t, asking for intel. It was absurd.

To anyone, this looked like a provocation. A mockery.

If they let this slide, the name of the Hao Clan would be dragged through the mud.

"If you keep mocking us like this, we won’t let it slide. Keep in mind, we have pride too."

"I’m not mocking you. Tell me—what would convince you?"

"…Hmm, then you and that man are completely unrelated?"

"That’s right!"

"Then it wouldn’t be a problem if he were to die, correct?"

Jang Il let out a sigh. He understood exactly what the woman was getting at. It was the surest way to prove there was no connection between them.

"That may be true, but… I was the one who brought him."

"What are you trying to say?"

"That is…"

Jang Il was just as frustrated.

To send Wi Yeonho on his way, he needed information from the Hao Clan.

But the Hao Clan didn’t just sell information to whoever walked in. The data they handled was laced with secrecy; selling it to the wrong person could lead to disaster.

Which meant, ironically, while Jang Il’s verified identity was what had gotten them this far, it was also why they weren’t willing to sell the information—because of who he was.

It was a total impasse.

‘How did I end up in this mess?’

Jang Il agonized over the best possible solution.

At that moment, Wi Yeonho stepped forward.

"Hey, auntie."