Carrying the Child of the Man Who Killed Me

Chapter 9

‘No, it can’t be. It can’t be…’

Yeocheong spent the whole night wide awake, staring blankly. He convinced himself that he must have done something wrong, something that made Ji-hyuk angry. Even though he didn’t know what it was, he kept thinking about it and blaming himself.

But what if that wasn’t the case? What if the cold expression Ji-hyuk wore when they first met – an expression that had never changed – had been his true feelings all along?

“No.”

As the sun rose, Yeocheong, who had only shed a few tears throughout the night, murmured to himself. He had known from the moment he arrived that Ji-hyuk did not like him.

The nominal prince of the empire, whom he had only met once, had suddenly let rumours spread that he was in love with a male Omega who wasn’t even properly classified as a sub-gender. And within a few months, Ji-hyuk was forced to take this ‘half-wit’ as his partner.

But after Ji-hyuk took the throne, he changed. He was always warm, like sunlight on a spring day, and infinitely gentle. How could someone who didn’t love him show such warmth and tenderness?

Whenever Ji-hyuk had even a little free time, he would seek him out and spend time with him, smiling so happily that it left no room for doubt.

“It couldn’t have all been a lie. It can’t be. It must be a misunderstanding…”

Yeocheong muttered to himself in the room where no sign of life stirred. The time when the palace servants usually brought breakfast had long passed, and even as the sun climbed high in the sky, he remained alone in the room, muttering the same words over and over again.

It wasn’t until the sun began to dip behind the mountains that someone finally came to see Yeocheong. But even this visit brought no welcome news.

“A decree has been issued to move His Highness Yeocheong to a new residence.”

It was as if they were saying, “You don’t belong in such a beautiful place. There is another place more suitable for you.

—

Yeocheong’s new residence was in the abandoned palace. Where there should have been a nameplate, there was only a broken sign, and no one cared enough to remember the palace’s original name.

Everyone just called it the Abandoned Palace. Yes, what meaning could a name have? Just as Yeocheong still held the title of consort, but was not treated as such by anyone, the title itself was meaningless.

“Your Highness, sniff… how did you get so thin?”

“…”

It was only after moving to his new residence that Yeocheong was able to reunite with Yeon and Sowol. Yeon, who used to make a fuss and cry at the slightest scratch on her hand, now cried as she worried about Yeocheong, her hands marked with numerous scars that had left permanent marks.

Unlike Yeon, Sowol had a calm and collected nature. She remained silent, her lips pressed tightly together, but it was clear that even she was not unaffected by the situation.

“His Majesty went too far. He held you in such high esteem, Your Highness, and yet what could you have done wrong to deserve this treatment overnight…”

“Don’t say such things.”

Yeocheong, who had been sitting silently and absentmindedly, finally spoke, interrupting Yeon’s complaints about Ji-hyuk. Yeon sniffled again, looking even more pitiful at the sight of Yeocheong’s tired and desolate demeanour.

“Your Highness…”

“Enough, Yeon. There’s no time for this. Instead of standing around, let’s start cleaning up. Staying in such a filthy place will only make us sick.”

Sowol pulled Yeon’s arm and led her outside. The sound of Yeon’s soft sniffling continued for a while before it was replaced by the sound of cleaning from the next room, signalling that they had begun to tidy up.

They were the first people in a long time to show real concern for Yeocheong. But his mind was too busy to be grateful for their help.

If the two of them had stayed with him in Wolha Palace from the beginning, perhaps his condition wouldn’t have deteriorated so much. But now it was far too late.

Yeocheong was silently slipping into madness. His mind was consumed by a single thought, and his monotonous, repetitive days felt suffocatingly unchanging.

The two palace attendants who had come with him to the abandoned palace did their best to serve him. They prepared his meals as carefully as possible with the meagre supplies they had been given, as if out of charity. They also worked tirelessly to clean the abandoned palace, which had obviously been neglected for years, in an effort to create a livable environment for him.

Yeon continued to care for Yeocheong, even though she felt it was all meaningless now. She sat next to him, who barely ate the meals she dutifully prepared, and spoke to him, even though he never responded. She even tidied up the small garden – so embarrassingly small compared to Wolha Palace – so that he could take short walks if he wished.

Sowol, though not as openly affectionate as Yeon, also seemed to care for Yeocheong in her own way.

But despite their efforts, Yeocheong continued to deteriorate day by day. Their devotion kept him from starving to death, but it could do little more.

Living like a lifeless shell, Yeocheong spent each day in a daze. It wasn’t until Yeon spoke a single sentence that he finally broke his long silence.

“It’s been almost two months since we came here.”

“Two months have passed?”

“Yes. Pardon?!”

Startled by the sound of Yeocheong’s voice after such a long time, Yeon stammered. Yeocheong suddenly stood up and grabbed her shoulders.

“Two months? Two months have passed?”

“Y-yes. Well, not exactly two months, but next week it will be two months.”

Yeon replied in confusion. It was understandable that Yeocheong, who had spent his days in a daze, unaware of the passage of time, was surprised that two months had passed. But his reaction was so extreme that it made Yeon tremble with unease.

“This is impossible… it can’t be. Then I…”

Yeocheong fell back in his seat. His overreaction to the mention of two months had a reason.

‘Two months have passed, but I haven’t taken any heat-suppressing medicine in the abandoned palace… and yet I haven’t experienced a heat cycle?’ 

His already pale complexion became even whiter, stripped of any remaining colour.

Even in Wolha Palace, where he was not treated as a proper spouse, he had at least been given the medicine to suppress his heat cycle. Not out of consideration for his well-being, but to prevent the Alpha soldiers stationed at the palace from being unnecessarily affected.

However, since arriving at the abandoned palace, Yeocheong hadn’t been given this medicine – or anything like it.

“His Majesty must have planned this all along. He never intended to produce an heir with the consort of Wolha Palace.” 

“This tea… it’s supposed to be good for health, but when Omegas drink it, it prevents conception for the duration of its use.” 

The mocking voice of the palace attendant who had once taunted him echoed in Yeocheong’s ears. In truth, the attendant had only said that the medicine would prevent conception during its use. But Yeocheong’s already shattered mind twisted the words into something far more insidious.

‘I thought it was my fault that I couldn’t have children. I thought it was because my body was weak, because I was inadequate…’

In Yeocheong’s mind, the drug had turned from a contraceptive into something that made him infertile. Yeon, realising why Yeocheong had reacted so strongly, tried to comfort him, but the chain of thoughts that had been triggered only continued to spiral.

“Your Highness, that’s not true. They said that when the body is severely weakened, it’s possible for the heat cycle to stop as well. It’s our fault for not paying attention.”

“No. His Majesty… His Majesty…”

Tears that Yeocheong thought had long since dried up began to roll down his cheeks again. He clenched his fists against the floor, unable to utter the thought that His Majesty secretly fed me medicine to make me infertile. Instead, he bit his lip and cried in silence.

“What is it?”

“Sowol, it’s… well…”

Yeon trailed off, hesitant to explain as Sowol entered the room, concern evident in her expression.

A moment later, Sowol entered the room and sighed softly as Yeon explained the situation to her. As she listened to Yeon’s tearful pleas for what to do, Sowol seemed to make a firm decision and spoke firmly.

“Stop worrying about His Highness.”

“What are you saying? How can you say that? He’s struggling so much…”

“Are you an idiot? He’s like a kite whose string has been cut. Honestly, I’m tired of even seeing him alive this long. I’m done with it all.”

“What?”

“If His Highness had died earlier, we’d be back in Song by now. That’s why we were sent here in the first place. Instead of lingering and wasting away, he should just die.”

Sowol’s face was flushed, her voice trembling with emotion. Her words and outburst were far from her usual calm and collected demeanour.

“I’ve waited as long as I could and put up with as much as I could. To be honest, I felt sorry for him too… That’s why I went along with your feelings, but I can’t do it anymore. I feel like I’m losing my mind too! I can’t bear to watch any more. So let’s stop. Let’s end it! We’re finished anyway! How long are you going to pretend to care like an idiot?”

“Sowol… I don’t understand what you’re saying. What do you mean? His Highness… His Highness?”

Yeocheong, who had been listening in a daze, stood up as if possessed. The words he heard – words that completely denied everything he had held on to – left him as if his mind had completely snapped.

Ji-hyuk, who had once professed to love him, had changed and revealed that it had all been a lie. And now even the person who had given him the strength to endure life in this strange place admitted that she had hoped for his death from the beginning.

‘Everything was a lie. No one was ever honest with me… not even once.’

“Your Highness!”

Yeon tried to grab Yeocheong, but even though he was an Omega, he was still a man. A weak and emaciated Yeon, no stronger than Yeocheong himself, couldn’t stop him no matter how hard she tried.

‘I must see His Majesty. Just one last time. I must ask him if what I know is true.’ 

Everything had been denied. Ji-hyuk, who had once claimed to love him, now seemed to reject that love completely. Even Sowol, who had followed him from Song and served him faithfully, turned out to have secretly wished for his death all along.

He wanted to die – he wanted to end it all right then and there. But before he did, he had one last thing to do.

“Stop him!”

“This way…!”

He couldn’t even remember how he had managed to run. All that mattered was that in his mad dash, he had somehow ended up exactly where Ji-hyuk was.

“Your Highness?”

“What is the meaning of this? What did the attendants do?”

The shocked voices of Ji-hyuk and the officials filled the air. Yeocheong was forced to kneel before him, held down by the soldiers. His knees and palms burned from hitting the ground, but he didn’t care.

Slowly, Yeocheong lifted his head and fixed his gaze on Ji-hyuk.

“…It was all a lie, wasn’t it?”

Even if he was called mad, it didn’t matter. With a desperate voice, Yeocheong called out to Ji-hyuk.