Between Your Letter and My Reply

Chapter 58

[Translation By Divinity]

Damian groaned and writhed in pain, but Asher merely shrugged.

“You’re fine. You’re not injured, and the prosthetic isn’t damaged. The pain you’re feeling in your missing right arm is just your brain tricking you into thinking it’s still there.”

“…Please give me some painkillers. They’re in the drawer of my nightstand.”

“I’ll give them to you because of your fever, but painkillers won’t help much with phantom pain.”

Asher opened the drawer Damian mentioned and found the painkillers. But his expression wasn’t good as he checked the bottle. Lilliana looked at him questioningly when he didn’t hand over the medication right away. Asher shook the bottle at Damian.

“You know these are strong, right?”

“But they work the best, aside from morphine.”

“Even if they work, taking them incorrectly will damage your already weak liver. I can’t give you these. They’re confiscated.”

“But…”

“Just wait a minute. I’ll get some medicine from Annette!”

Lilliana, quick to assess the situation, dashed out of the room at Damian’s weak protest. They heard her hurried footsteps going down the stairs.

Asher helped Damian lie down on the bed. He was feverish and unconsciously complained to Asher,

“My right arm hurts. Just give me those painkillers.”

“I told you, it’s phantom pain. The medication won’t work. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

Asher said irritably, sitting on the edge of the bed. Then, as if realizing he had been a bit harsh to a patient, he added,

“There’s not much we can do about phantom pain. It’s caused by confused nerve signals in your brain, so painkillers won’t be very effective. The symptoms worsen when you’re not feeling well. It’s especially common in people with PTSD, like you…”

Damian raised his left hand and wiped away the tears that had welled up. Meanwhile, Lilliana returned and hurriedly handed Damian a glass of water and a few pills.

“These are painkillers and fever reducers. Take them quickly.”

Asher helped Damian sit up, and Annette, wearing a robe over her pajamas, followed them.

“Oh my, Damian! Are you alright?”

Damian swallowed the pills with water and nodded briefly. He felt embarrassed and apologetic for causing such a commotion in the middle of the night. Everyone in the house had rushed out in their pajamas. Asher got up from the bed after Damian took the medicine.

“It seems like the situation has calmed down, so I’m going back to sleep…”

He said, still sounding slightly annoyed, as if he had no more energy to worry about Damian. He even took the painkillers he had confiscated from Damian.

But as Asher said, staying here wouldn’t improve the situation. Damian’s right arm still ached terribly, but Asher couldn’t fix that, could he?

So, looking at Lilliana and Annette, Damian said,

“Thank you for the medicine. And I’m sorry for causing a commotion in the middle of the night. I’m feeling better now, so you both should go back to sleep.”

“But you’re still sweating profusely.”

“Yeah, and you look pale… Do you need any other medication?”

Lilliana and Annette expressed their concern, but Damian felt burdened by their kindness, and his head started to ache. At times like this, he preferred to be alone and rest without bothering anyone.

“I’m fine. I took the fever reducer, so I should be okay after some sleep.”

Damian sighed softly. He wanted to send Lilliana and Annette away and pass out, escaping the pain.

“If you say so… But…”

Annette rested her cheek on her hand and looked at Damian with concern.

“Damian, don’t try to endure it alone. Call me if you’re in pain. It’s lonely to suffer alone.”

Lilliana also held Damian’s hand with a similar expression, but he couldn’t bring himself to call a grown woman to his room in the middle of the night. He just nodded half-heartedly.

He almost groaned in pain because the painkiller, which wasn’t his usual one, wasn’t working. But he forced a smile and reassured Lilliana.

“Yes, don’t worry. I’ll call you if anything happens.”

Finally, Annette and Lilliana left the room, hesitantly. After they were gone, Damian lay in bed and closed his eyes. Alone in the silent room, with his vision blocked, he started hearing gunshots again.

He turned to his right side and removed the pillow from under his head. Then he pressed his right ear against the mattress and covered his left ear with the pillow, trying to block out all thoughts.

But the horrors of the battlefield, like a curse, left sticky remnants on the inside of his eyelids.

The endless gunfire, the sporadic explosions, the urgent and bloody scenes where even guessing when the current battle would end felt like a luxury. When he was in the midst of it all, he had considered it normal. He thought it was a situation he simply had to endure.

He had lived for two years, fighting, defeating enemies, taking bullets with his body, all for the sake of victory… For Damian, the battlefield was his everyday life, and he never complained about it, as it was the path he had chosen.

But after returning to Nichio, perhaps because he was too immersed in the peace, Damian found himself not wanting to go back. The thought itself felt strange to him.

‘Why?’ Fighting was how he proved his worth. He couldn’t understand himself.

Damian curled up in bed, pulling the blanket over his head, and tried to fall asleep. But his last memory before drifting off was the dimly lit scenery outside the window as dawn approached.

***

Damian woke up later than usual. He hadn’t slept well, and his head felt foggy, but the pain in his right arm had completely subsided.

He sat on the bed for a while, trying to clear his head. Then he went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. As he dried his face with a towel and looked in the mirror, he saw that his face looked somewhat presentable. When he went downstairs, Lilliana, who had been sprawled on the sofa, jumped up at the sight of him.

“Damian!”

Lilliana almost ran towards him and immediately placed her hand on his forehead.

“Your fever’s gone! How’s the pain in your right arm?”

“It’s fine now.”

“That’s a relief… I was going to take you to the hospital if you were still sick this morning.”

Lilliana fussed over him, and Annette, who had appeared at some point, leaned against the wall and said,

“Honestly, we were all worried sick last night. Don’t scare us like that again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not something to apologize for. I just meant you should take care of yourself.”

“Where’s Asher?”

Damian wanted to thank Asher for helping him last night, but he thought Asher would get annoyed if he knocked on his door, so he asked Annette first.

“I haven’t seen him today, so he’s probably still asleep in his room.”

Annette shrugged.

“I see…”

“That guy was actually helpful for once yesterday.”

“Do you dislike Asher?”

Lilliana asked, having noticed how Annette’s tone changed whenever Asher was mentioned. Annette replied as if it were obvious.

“You don’t like him much either, do you?”

“I don’t like him, but I don’t dislike him to that extent. But it’s obvious you really hate him.”

“I can’t stand rude people.”

Annette clicked her tongue.

TL/N: Here my discord: discord.com/invite/cPdAhxcXn5
There’re few things I want to discuss regarding this novel and other stuff so please join discord. See you at the other end.