Between Your Letter and My Reply

Chapter 117

He didn’t know what had gotten into them, but one day, the orphanage organized an outing to ride a carousel. Young Damian, excited by the word “carousel,” eagerly climbed onto the saddle of a horse.

There were many other children besides the ones from the orphanage, accompanied by their parents. Damian ended up riding the carousel with them.

And it wasn’t until the carousel started moving that Damian realized the difference between himself and the other children.

“Mika! Look over here. Mika!”

“Are you having fun, Angela?”

Every time the carousel went around, the parents waved, called out to their children, and smiled at them. The children waved back at their parents, filled with joy.

But there was no one in front of Damian. No parents to wave to, no one to replace them. Just the scenery of the carousel square, spinning round and round, round and round…

Life is a carousel.

He couldn’t remember who told him that. The person probably used that analogy to explain the ups and downs of life, but Damian’s interpretation was different.

There’s nothing in front of me, just spinning round and round alone.

That’s my life.

That’s what young Damian thought. Nothing to want, nothing to do, just spinning round and round. Going round and round in a boring circle for a set time, regardless of his own will.

“Damian~!”

Lilliana waved at him from the front. Even though it was just a fleeting moment, it didn’t matter. They would meet again after one round. And that somehow reassured Damian.

If there was someone, anyone, to acknowledge him within that dark cycle he saw as a child.

If that bright, cheerful, and lovely young lady could be there at various points in his life.

Then the saying “life is a carousel” wouldn’t be so bad, he thought.

Ah, I’m being greedy again.

What did he want to do if he found ‘Lady Lintray’? Among the many answers to that question, one, as he had written in his letter, was to ask her to continue meddling in his life from time to time.

***

“Ha, that was fun.”

Lilliana, who had ridden the carousel with Annette, returned to their spot with a refreshed look. Damian, who had been watching their belongings, gave up his seat to Casey, who had accompanied them.

“Now, shall we start painting?”

Lilliana declared as she took out her sketchbook. Watching her sketch, Damian commented, “It’s not oil painting today.”

“Oil paintings take a long time to dry. I’m Lilliana Carnell, the artist who’s also good at watercolors, even if it’s not my main specialty.”

She boasted for a moment, then started drawing lines with her pencil, muttering to herself.

“Besides, I think this scenery suits watercolors better than oil paints…”

While Lilliana focused on her painting, Annette started knitting. Casey, like a lazy cat, yawned and lay down on the mat, closing his eyes.

Having nothing particular to do, Damian went to sit next to Annette and opened a book. Annette subtly shifted her hips to give Damian more space in the shade and spoke in a low voice.

“Damian…”

When Damian looked up at her, Annette asked with a mischievous look, “When are you going to confess to Lily?”

“…?”

At the sudden, blunt question, Damian’s eyes widened, and he tilted his head. A moment of silence followed, as if asking what she meant by that question.

But Annette, with a knowing look, nudged Damian’s shoulder with her fist and asked again, “I don’t know how you two met, but I knew from the start.”

Damian broke out in a cold sweat and glanced towards Lilliana.

She had moved to a spot with a good view of the carousel, so she was a bit away from where the two were sitting. Thanks to that, Annette’s quiet voice didn’t reach her ears.

“N-no… I…”

Damian struggled to speak, but all he could manage was a stammer. He licked his dry lips and continued, “I haven’t been thinking about that.”

“Why? You like Lily, don’t you?”

Damian’s eyes wavered uncontrollably.

“Do I seem like I like Lilliana?”

“Wasn’t that… the case from the beginning?”

At Annette’s words, Damian became even more flustered.

“From the beginning?”

By “from the beginning,” Annette must have meant around the time he moved into her boarding house. Back then, he was struggling with his feelings for ‘Lady Lintray,’ unsure of what they meant. To think she noticed even then…?

Seeing Damian’s confusion, Annette chuckled and said, “The eyes of a man in love are all similar. And you’re not good at hiding it.”

At the word “love,” Damian almost choked.

“But back then, it really wasn’t like…”

“Back then?”

Damian hurriedly tried to explain himself, but Annette, like a ghost, caught his unconscious slip of the tongue.

“So you mean you didn’t realize you liked her back then, but now you do? Is that it?”

“That’s not what I…”

Damian didn’t consider himself the type who couldn’t lie. But for some reason, he couldn’t make any excuses or lies in front of Annette.

So he could only groan and plead with her, “Please don’t tell Lilliana.”

“Oh my~”

Annette’s cheekbones rose high, and she gave Damian a light punch.

“So you’re going to confess yourself, is that it?”

“That’s not what I meant…”

“Ah, good, good. I think Damian is quite a decent person. And you seem to get along well with Lily. So, is there anything this older sister can help you with?”

“W-what do you mean by help?”

At his stiff question, Annette responded with a look that said, “What do you mean, what do I mean by help?”

“Of course I’m talking about helping you two become lovers.”

A powerful word he hadn’t expected pierced through Damian’s mind.

Lovers! People who love each other! A relationship of mutual affection!

“No, no, no! There’s no rule that you have to date if you like someone, and in the first place, I haven’t thought that far, I don’t have that kind of desire, I’ve never even thought about it in that way…!”

Seeing Damian shake his head with such ferocity, Annette tilted her head.

“What, so you do intend to date her? Then what do you want to do with Lily?”

At that, Damian recalled his earlier thoughts and said, “I just… how should I put it… nothing special, I just want Lilliana to be a part of my life.”

Just like he thought while riding the carousel, he wanted her to be there for him from time to time whenever life got tough…

Just saying that made Damian’s face burn. But Annette’s expression turned strange after hearing his answer. She tossed her knitting needles and yarn aside and focused on Damian.

“If that’s not dating, then what is it?”

“Huh? But even friends can do that, can’t they? Isn’t it common to have friends who are with you through life?”

“Damian…” Annette sighed deeply and said, “How would you feel if there was a third man in Lily’s life, monopolizing her, in the closest position to her?”

Damian’s face fell instantly. But Annette didn’t stop.

“What are you going to do when she marries someone else, has children, and cherishes her family more than friends? Do you still want to remain just friends with her through life?”

Damian’s face darkened rapidly, and he lowered his gaze, barely managing to answer, “If that’s what’s best for Lilliana, then I…”

“Why would that be what’s best for Lily?”

“Because I have to help her live the life she wants.”

Annette ruffled her hair in frustration.

“No!”

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