Bastard Swordsman

A Delicious-Looking Slop

I used whatever I could find—big pots, buckets, deep dishes, pans—and spent several days purging the mud from the crabs.

During that time, changing the water was a real pain. If I hadn't been able to enhance it with magic power, it wouldn't have been something I'd want to do. I wished I had access to a nearby water supply.

While staying at the inn, I'd left the crabs in their containers in the hallway for purging. The inn's youngest boy had taken quite a liking to the crabs. They were large, but they had a certain charm.

This morning, when I went to take them, he looked at me as if to say, "You're not really going to eat that, are you...?」

So I ended up leaving one behind. What could I do? I just told him to watch out for the pincers and clean his hands if he touched it.

「So, you're going to cook with these crabs, I guess,」

Raina said.

「Yep. Sorry to keep you waiting, Raina.」

「You kept me waiting so long I finished a whole mission.」

The crab dish was supposed to cheer Raina up, but it seemed her spirits had already fully recovered in the few days we'd been apart. So what was the point of all my effort...?

Well, whatever. It's better than her being down in the dumps all the time.

We were in an outdoor kitchen slightly away from the market stalls today. It was a vast space with evenly spaced outdoor stone stoves, where people could use them for a small fee if they brought their own firewood. It wasn't convenient on rainy days or when the wind was strong, but most of the people who set up stalls at the market utilized this place to cook their dishes before taking them to their stalls. There was a shared big basin for washing up, making it easy.

Nearby, some other groups were already using the stoves, making large pots of soup to sell at their stalls. Today, I planned to make something that would rival the aroma of their soups.

「Oh, by the way, Mongrel-senpai, here you go,」

Raina said.

「Eh? Oh, are these... eggs! Where'd you get them?」

Raina handed me three eggs, which were pretty pricey in this world.

「I got them on my way back from a mission yesterday, at the village farm. It was kind of like an apology for the last fishing trip.」

「I told you not to worry about that.」

「Well, you know...」

「Oh, Mongrel-san, just accept the gift already!」

Elena chimed in.

「Oh, so Elena-san's here too.」

Elena arrived from the water basin with a pot in her hands.

「Yeah, I wanted to try your crab dish too,」

Elena said.

「I've never had shrimp or crabs, y'know. I'll help with the cooking, so can I join?」

「I don't mind. I mentioned to Raina that if anyone was free, they could come along.」

Even though the crabs were a weird size, they were plenty, and cooking them would be too much for just Raina and me.

「You sure carry a lot of stuff, Mongrel-san. Pots and all sorts...」

Elena pointed out.

「Mongrel-senpai always has everything. He's got so much stuff in his room at the inn he can't even get out.」

「Moving must be a hassle,」

Elena laughed.

I don't have everything; just whatever I bought on impulse.

「Alright, first, let's take care of the crabs. After that, we'll clean them well and take off the shells. With everyone here, it'll go quickly.」

「Okay.」

「Um, sorry Raina, but how should I hold this?」

「Grab it by the side of the shell, like this.」

「Oh, cool. Thanks.」

As an experienced hunting party, our crab disassembly went smoothly. Without hesitation, we quickly killed, cleaned, and shelled them.

「Put the gills and shells in here. Separate the crab roe into this bowl.」

「Do we really need to do all that?」

「Oh, these flaps? They're kinda like fish.」

「Yep, take those out—oh, the females might have eggs, so separate those too.」

Once taught, they quickly mastered the technique, and went through the preparation efficiently—perhaps even faster than me. I didn't have much experience, but I couldn't let myself be outdone.

「So, what exactly are we making today, Mongrel-senpai?」

「Well, you'll see... actually, maybe you won't until it's done.」

「It's kinda worrying if the food doesn't make sense while watching it being made.」

「Agreed.」

Yeah, the process was not exactly reassuring to watch. But that was part of the fun—for me, anyway.

「Alright, the main and almost entire process is this... bam!」

「I was curious about that. You're using that, huh?」

「A cast-iron cauldron... whoa, it looks heavy.」

A stone mill would've been ideal, but since I didn't have one, I'd have to make do.

「First, we'll put all the crabs in the pot.」

「Um, they're still kinda only partially cleaned.」

「Then we pound them with this pestle! BAM! Again, bAM! And another BAM!」

「Whoa!?」

「Is this really cooking!?」

「It is. Where I'm from, some people do this... not many, though.」

「Why's it sound so dubious!?」

「Wouldn't it be better to have the inn do this...?」

But I carried on, pounding the crabs with a large, thick pestle. With the help of my magic power, I pulverized the shells, claws, and all, into a paste.

「Once it reduces, crush it even more!」

「Wow... it's a power move. And, uh, it's messy...」

「It's turning into a brown puddle...」

「Here, Raina, Elena, give it a shot. Make it as fine as you can.」

「Okay... Well, I'll do it, but... what is this?」

We took turns mashing the crabs, pounding away. While they weren't as strong, Raina and Elena tried, but in the end, I did most of the crushing.

The paste was a mix of shell, flesh, and body juices. The end result would be...

「Slop, huh...」

「Undeniably, complete sloppiness...」

Yep, it was slop. A gray-brown, fishy liquid with countless shell fragments. Just slop. But, no, it wasn't exactly slop.

「Is this something used in some kind of dark magic?」

「They're calling it cooking, though. Mongrel-senpai says it's a dish.」

「You two are such skeptics. We're not done yet.」

Next, I strained the sludge through a wooden sieve into another large pot.

The result was,

「Slop with less rubbish...」

「Still, unmistakably slop...」

Well, it's definitely still not food, so it's slop.

No, it's not slop. But from here, it begins. I continued filtering the liquid through a coarse cloth...

「A smoother, less rubbishy slop.」

「I'm thinking I might just head home now...?」

「Hang on, we're almost there! Almost!」

This is the crucial part.

The 'slop'—actually, the meticulously strained crab soup—was heated over the fire.

The quantity was quite a bit, so it took some time with just a wood fire.

Still, as the heat worked its magic...

「Oh, something's rising to the surface.」

「It does look like trash.」

「It's not trash—just keep simmering it down.」

「It's scummy-looking, isn't it?」

「More and more's coming up! Are you not going to skim it off?」

「No need—this is right.」

「Nothing less than a foamy slop.」

「It's not slop, anyway. Here comes the salt! A good sprinkle, and boom!」

Once the salt was added to the pot, what happened next was...

「Whoa? Oh! What's up with this, what's this— it's solidifying!」

「The slop's sort of turning clear! Mongrel-san, what in the world...!?」

「I have no idea.」

「You really have no clue!? Even doing this yourself!?」

「The world can be like that sometimes.」

It's probably because... I don't know, proteins something or other with the salt.

The explanation would be difficult even if I knew, so it's best to just gloss over it.

「Then we'll mix in the crab roe, add the eggs, heat them up well... salt and we're good!」

「Oh, wow...」

「The slop's turned into something that looks like real food!」

Depending on the region, the name varied, but I knew this dish as 「kani-kou soup」.

It's a soup made entirely from crabs, mashed into a pulp.

Soy sauce or miso would've been perfect, but what we didn't have, we had to do without. Tuning the flavor with the crab's innards should do the trick.

「It's a soup... huh. Smells good!」

「This aroma... it's making me hungry!」

「Feast away! I'll show you what real crab cuisine is.」

We filled three deep dishes with the... somewhat fluffy masses in the soup, and it was time to dig in.

Slurp...

Ah—this was delicious! 100% crab!

Absolutely fantastic! But I wanted soy sauce! Miso!

But then again, this salty version kept the essence of the crab pure and sophisticated, and that was nice!

「Ahh... this is just right...」

Raina was indulging, savoring it quietly like an old lady.

「This is delicious! Is this... umami, maybe? So tasty!」

Meanwhile, Elena joyfully expressed her appreciation for the flavor.

It is, indeed. There's plenty more, so have your fill...

But, this won't be good cold, so enjoy it while it's warm.

「Wait! When did you sneak that ale, Mongrel!?」

「Hey! How mean of you, having ale stashed away!」

「You know, this begs for a drink... but this ale's for those good kids who help clean up.」

「I was going to help from the start!」

「I'm not a child! Give me some!」

Silently, I offered them the ale.

「Oh, this goes well with the drink.」

「Yep... maybe I should try crabbing next instead of fishing.」

「In a shop this would go for... actually, maybe not.」

「It's a lot of work. Even if they made it, you'd still have to pay... there, I've had the eggs soaking in hot water for a while. Time to crack open those soft-boiled eggs and pop them into the soup.」

「What, you boiled the eggs, Raina gave?」

Adding a pinch of salt to a slightly shallow dish of soup, I cracked the eggs open...

Perfectly cooked, the soft-boiled eggs had just the right texture.

「Whoa, what's this? The eggs are partly set... is this safe to eat? Will it make me sick?」

「It's fine, just try it.」

「... Delicious!」

See, Elena? The eggs disappeared in an instant, but no matter.

「Hmmm...」

Raina continued her run of elderly dining reactions.

As long as they're enjoying their food, I'm good. I'm satisfied.

... Cooking for the young ones like this makes me feel unusually old, is it just me?

「I'm stuffed... that was so good.」

「It was incredibly good! Mongrel-senpai, I had no idea you were this good at cooking. Sheena-senpai is... ah, never mind.」

What about Sheena? Given the right ingredients, sure I can cook...

I just wish I had more access to ingredients and seasonings...

That's really the only hindrance...

「Why bother with shrimp when we can crab next time?」

「You caught them fishing, didn't you? How cool! Sounds fun, I'd love to try that!」

Looks like my tasty dish snagged Elena too.

「I have enough rods for everyone, so yes, we can fish. Next time, we should try lure fishing at a snag-free spot... of course, ensuring Artemis can join with the schedule.」

「Looking forward! Raina, next time let's really dress up!」

「Eh... um, yeah.」

And so, amidst lively conversation and group clean-up, the cooking came to an end.

「Kani-kou Soup」, needing only salt and crabs, seems universally feasible in any country or culture. I wonder if something similar exists in this world. Somehow, today's cooking probably wasn't novel. If anything, it's primitive.

Still, those soft-boiled eggs were a treat after a long time.

Farm-fresh had such a superior flavor compared to what I had in my previous life... or so it seemed.

「Ahhhh! Mom boiled my crab!」

Returning to the inn, I found that the crab I left had been unceremoniously boiled by the landlady. Poor thing.

It's okay, though. That's how children grow stronger bit by bit...

-------------= Clacky's Corner -------------=
Poor kid.
【(⩌‸⩌ )】