As Aizen in Naruto and Joined a Chat Group

Machete Girl: Morning, everyone.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Morning, Kotonoha.

Doujin Artist: Morning? It's still afternoon where I am!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: I was just about to sleep.

Doujin Artist: Sleep? Who are you planning to pick today, Rui-chan? (smirking emoji)

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Pfft, can we drop that joke already? It's your fault for messing around every day! Now Misaka keeps giving me weird looks!

Curly-haired Guy: Weird how?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Like, not the way you'd look at a friend—it's all dreamy and affectionate! I'm starting to avoid her! (facepalm emoji)

Doujin Artist: Pfft, hahaha! Rui-chan, you're killing me!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: You're laughing? This is all your fault!

This is an Actor: Maybe it's not just your imagination. What if it's real?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: No way! Anzen-san, don't scare me! (trembling emoji)

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: If it's true, what would you do, Rui-chan? Just go along with it?

Doujin Artist: Hahaha, "just go along with it," I like that! I'll always support Rui-chan!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: H-How could I go along with it?! I'm totally normal—I only like guys who are both mature and cute!

Amegakure Village's Angel: Mature and cute?

Soul Society's Villain: Is it okay to call a guy "cute"?

Machete Girl: There are some, I guess. Maybe like those who wear skirts and eyeliner?

Doujin Artist: Isn't that just a crossdressing guy? I didn't think Rui-chan was into that. Impressive.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: I'm done. I can't keep talking to you people.

Doujin Artist: Aw, don't be mad. Come on, tell us—what do you even mean by "mature and cute"? I don't really get it.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: You're pretending not to get it. We have someone like that in the group.

Machete Girl: Wait, don't tell me...

Wig Guy: That's right, it's me!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ?

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: ?

Curly-haired Guy: ?

Doujin Artist: Katsura, did you forget to look in the mirror this morning? If you had even a tiny bit of shame, you'd never say something like that.

Wig Guy: It's not a wig—it's Katsura! Shame is the enemy of all samurai! Any samurai with dreams must never be bound by something as silly as shame!

Doujin Artist: In that case, why don't you just run down the street naked? That'd really show how little shame you have.

Wig Guy: Hmph, there's a big difference between having no shame and being indecent. A noble samurai would never do something indecent!

Curly-haired Guy: So you think dressing like this *isn't* indecent? [Image]

Image opens. In it, Katsura is proudly crossing his arms, wearing a floral kimono.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Pfft! Is that the Hyakka uniform?

Doujin Artist: My eyes! They're burning!

Wig Guy: This is just part of my job, okay? Since I've joined the Hyakka squad, isn't it normal for me to wear this uniform?

Machete Girl: You're a guy joining Hyakka and you're telling me this is normal? How is that normal at all?!

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Alright, stop arguing with him. This guy's clearly got a screw loose. Yan Ye, any updates on tracking the intruders?

Machete Girl: Nothing at all. Haven't seen anything strange in the news, either.

Doujin Artist: That's weird. It's been almost two months now, right? Still no signs?

Machete Girl: Two months?

Doujin Artist: What's wrong?

Machete Girl: Based on my time, it's actually been four months since I killed that demon.

Soul Society's Resident Villain: Wasn't it eight months?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Pfft, this time-flow difference thing is pretty interesting.

Curly-haired Guy: It's been one month. I remember clearly, Aizen left us just a month ago.

Wig Guy: Long live President Aizen!

Doujin Artist: "Long live" my ass! That's something you say for someone who's dead!

Machete Girl: Anzen-san's gonna hit someone if she hears that! But yeah, it's really strange. Those intruders have been way too quiet. After all this time, not even a peep.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Maybe the death of that demon made them feel threatened, so they're hiding for now?

Curly-haired Guy: Can't rule that out.

Doujin Artist: Even if that's the case, they're gonna show up sooner or later. Just stay alert, Yan Ye-chan.

Machete Girl: Yeah, I know.

Soul Society's Resident Villain: How are things going with Anzen and Konan? I'm still waiting for you guys to come help me deal with the rebellion. (emoji: smile)

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Flower-chan's rebellion still isn't over?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: No way, you're telling me the captains can't handle some prisoners?

Soul Society's Resident Villain: It's not that they can't. The problem is the noble families in Soul Society are holding us back. They don't want us to launch a full assault on East Rukongai because it doesn't benefit them.

This is an Actor: The nobles? You mean the Tsunayashiro family?

Soul Society's Resident Villain: Yeah. Their new head, Tsunayashiro Tokitani, got a bunch of other top nobles to pressure Central 46. That's why we're moving so slowly.

This is an Actor: Oh, so he's already the new head. I bet he's working with Aizen. Interesting.

Curly-haired Guy: Who's this Tokitani guy? I don't remember him from the main Bleach story.

This is an Actor: He's from the novels. And trust me, the guy's a total scumbag.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Whoa, even Anzen-san calls him that? He must be really awful.

Doujin Artist: Worse than Makoto?

This is an Actor: Makoto doesn't even come close.

Makoto's only trashy to the girls around him. But Tokitani? He's trash to *everyone*. He tortured and killed his own wife and coworkers, and even tried to create a new Soul King just to throw Soul Society into chaos.

World domination?

He doesn't care about that. He just wants to watch the world fall apart. "No evil is too small"—that's basically his motto.

Amegakure Village's Angel: Don't worry, Flower-chan. We're almost done on our end.

[System: Amegakure Village's Angel has started a livestream.]