Chapter 204: Exhaustion
Li Yu didn't bother with these people for now. As for Jiefang City, he had done all he could.
Perhaps in their eyes, Li Yu hadn't given them enough face, but in this apocalyptic world, did face matter?
Without Li Yu, their Jiefang City would probably have fallen apart long ago.
What happened next was up to their own fate. He had no extra energy to care for these people, nor did he want to.
If they wanted to do such things, they would have to bear the consequences.
Without further ado, Li Yu got into the car and sped toward the base.
Recently, Li Yu felt worn out, and he didn't know why, but this tiredness seemed to permeate from his soul to his body, from his body into his heart.
He wanted to sleep well.
Since the apocalypse began, he had never had a good night's sleep, not even within the walls of the base, protected by its high walls, for he dared not fall into a deep sleep.
He was afraid, afraid that if he slept too soundly, something uncontrollable might happen.
Although there had been times in the base when he relaxed a bit, the sense of urgency within him grew day by day.
Especially with the consecutive troubles of Salvation Army, the Zombie Tide, the drought weather, and the group of a thousand displaced persons. It seemed as if the problems would never end.
He had killed many people.
And even more zombies.
But for some reason, the sense of brutality within him grew stronger, and just now, outside Jiefang City, there was a voice in his heart yelling: Kill them all!
This inner darkness drew him deeper into it.
Yet reason pulled him back out. He realized that he needed to adjust his state of mind.
....
The afternoon sun shone through the car window, warming the interior.
Li Yu had never been an optimistic person. He was once soft-hearted, kind, and shy, but in the years since his rebirth, he had grown numb, resigned to the collapse of the universe, to the destruction of everything, thus he could withstand all suffering.
So, he could fearlessly face everything, living through death.
But deep down, had he not thought about making amends if he could do it all over again...
After his rebirth, it all seemed like a dream. The countless scenarios he fantasized about during those five years before his rebirth were now realized before his eyes. So why were there always moments that felt so desperate, so sad?
He did not tell anyone. In the eyes of his parents, his family, the people at the base, Li Yu was the soul of the base, strong, assertive, visionary.
Bearing all these expectations and dependencies, he was under a lot of pressure; he could not afford to be weak.
He had thought about confiding in others, but he just couldn't.
He really couldn't.
It was like a person drowning in water, constantly on the verge of suffocation.
But the icy rationality inside him allowed him to postpone various emotions, making decisions mechanically, like a machine.
By isolating emotions, one might become stronger, but as a normal human being, the occasional surge of emotions could come crashing like a tidal wave at any moment.
Having dealt with Dapao and the others, he felt he could no longer hold on.
His eyes were blurry, staring straight at the sun until he started to feel a bit dizzy.
Yutong next to him noticed something odd about his condition and reached out to hold his hand.
Li Yu turned his head, a hint of gentleness flickering in his eyes.
After hesitating for two seconds, a smile appeared on his face as he spoke: "It's okay, just a bit tired. I'll rest well when we get back. Everyone has worked hard."
He seemed to avoid looking at Yutong any longer; he didn't want to, afraid that others might see him in such a state.
His teeth clenched firmly, restoring his complexion to normal.
He was afraid. He had to enter that ruthless mindset, one that could accept the death of anyone, accept any dreadful outcome.
In that state, he wouldn't act on emotions but could better protect himself and others.
Yet, he wasn't heartless; he was aware of his emotions.
He simply used opposing emotions as a counterbalance to grow more serene.
Through this counteraction, he could maintain his cool.
At certain moments, the demon inside would surface, inciting him to kill everyone from Jiefang City, everyone outside of the base.
He knew it was wrong, so he needed to hold on to his bottom line.
However, the malevolence of human nature often emerges after committing evil without facing punishment. He didn't believe in fate. But he believed in the rightness of goodwill.
He wanted to be a good person.
The vehicle drove swiftly, arriving at the base by a little past four in the afternoon.
As the post-apocalyptic world pressed on, it was only a matter of time before the base would be exposed.
But for the moment, the base had grown into a formidable power. While not numerous, its people had grown stronger after numerous battles.
He firmly believed that in the post-apocalyptic world, the greatest advantage wasn't in numbers but in solidarity and faith, and... ample food.
One must first survive before dreaming of ideals.
This principle had been an axiom even before the apocalypse.
As he returned to the base gate, the corpses outside had been cleaned up, and the soil seemed turned over and flattened.
No blood was visible.
Li Yu felt somewhat relieved; he wasn't alone. At the base, centered around Li Yu, Second Uncle, Third Uncle, and Uncle were all very stable and highly capable individuals.
Second Uncle was shrewd and thoughtful, sometimes cunning like an old fox, often with sinister ideas against enemies.
Third Uncle spoke little but was incredibly strong in combat, like a cheetah or a shadow hidden amongst the crowd, delivering a fatal blow to enemies at critical moments, like when he slaughtered dozens of Salvation Army men without injury, terrifying as it was.
Uncle had formerly been an Armed Police squad leader, with strong leadership and decision-making skills. He preserved some professional ethics, even now holding on to some principles which were all correct, adding a touch of warmth to this post-apocalyptic world and now came to understand Li Yu.
Within the base, he was a strong and thoughtful individual.
Besides these three, Li Tie, Li Gang, Dapao, and Yang Tianlong were all veterans.
Li Tie was quick-witted, often grasping Li Yu's intentions.
Li Gang, Dapao, and Yang Tianlong all had high combat abilities, with Dapao being an excellent shooter and Yang Tianlong strong in hand-to-hand combat.
Additionally, those who joined later like Song Min and Ding Jiu, were steady individuals, decisive and bold in handling affairs, often relieving Li Yu of many burdens.
As for Lai Dongsheng, he was loyal and had commendable fighting skills.
The workers and Song Min's sisters had all faced hardships and were grateful to be part of the base. They also performed well in execution.
Whether killing people or zombies, they showed no mercy.