Amaranthine- Horny Heroes

CHAPTER 8

Lira bounced back through the door a couple minutes later. 

"Hey! Look who I found in the observation room!" She had a bundle of clothes in hand, and Director Swan and Breastman in tow. The two new arrivals had similar but distinct reactions to walking in on a naked Cait examining the weight equipment. Director Swan's eyebrows raised, and a subtle smile brought a curve to her full red lips. Breast man on the other hand made use of his new abilities. 

!!!!! 8=====D !!!!!! 

The series of characters scrolled across his hat, their meaning universal. 

"Hey! New trick!" Cait jogged over, raising one hand for a high tentacle, and extending the other to Lira for the bundle of clothes. She pulled on a white sports bra with the AEGIS logo on the upper right of her chest, and stuffed herself into a tight pair of athletic shorts. Given the look of naked lust on Lira's face, Cait didn't think the fact they were a size too small was an accident. 

Well, not like I mind. Only fair that she gets some reciprocal eye-candy. 

"How are you pulling that off with the hat, bud?" She asked, the dark blush around his maw clearing from Breastman's face. 

NANOMACHINES, SON! 

Director Swan let out the sharp bark of laughter that indicated she'd been caught off guard. 

"One of our resident Meta-brains does indeed have a way with nanomachines, and was able to provide Breastman with a neuroreactive coating that has already been paying dividends in the communication department." 

As she spoke, she ran her dark eyes appreciatively over Cait's body, a little of the predatory jungle cat from their first meeting returning. When she reached Cait's own, her eyes took on a spark of remembrance. 

"Ah! Right. That self same Meta-brain, she goes by Nanosmith, would like to have your testing data sent her way when you are done here. I believe she has some experiments in mind that require an extraordinarily durable test subject. Do you mind?" 

Cait shook her head, slightly apprehensive, but after everything Lira had hit her with over the last hour or two, she had to admit the risk to herself seemed low. 

"Sure, shoot her my deets," she said with a shrug. "I don't think we're done testing here yet though?" 

"We most certainly are not!" Lira took her the chance to take back control. Sidling up to Cait's side and wrapping an arm posessively around one of her biceps. Beckoning Breastman along, she walked them both back out to the weight area.

"Time to see if these guns pack as much punch as it looks like," Lira said, squeezing Cait's bicep. "Cait, this will be it for you as you haven't demonstrated any more esoteric abilities. Breastman, we're going to be spending a bit more time together tonight as to be frank we have no idea what to expect from you. We at least have to do a standard durability test, and I'd like to get you back tomorrow, maybe with some Meta-brain support, to do a more thorough battery of tests." 

With the exception of her still pressing herself tightly against Cait's arms, the flirty PT's demeanor had changed to be much more professional. Maybe it was the presence of Director Swan, or the strangeness of Breastman. Honestly, Cait thought it was probably that this portion of testing wouldn't involve the unrestrained use of advanced weaponry on an unresisting test subject, though. 

"Lira," Director Swan interjected, "Mr. Breastman demonstrated some interesting mobility abilities during his Accessibility assessment. I'd like you to take him through both the general agility and midair traversal test batteries. I don't expect Freeflow results, but I imagine we will be surprised." 

"Ooooooo fun!" Lira looked excited. "Cait, since we'll be running it anyway, we might as well have you do the general agility as well. Anyway, let's get you two warmed up!" 

Lira ran both of them through some general calisthenics, modifying on the fly for Breastman's insane body plan. After his first attempt at jumping jacks had them all dodging randomly whipping tentacles, Lira cut the warmup short, muttering excitedly about designing a workout plan personalized for the eldritch horror. In the end, they learned tentacle beasts had black sweat, and that Cait basically didn't. 

"I find it personally offensive when people don't sweat during my workouts." Lira scrunched up her eyebrows in a frown, swiping a finger down the valley of Cait's abs and bringing it to her mouth. "Ugh! Not even salty." 

Cait's strength assessment was a lot less freeform than her durability test had been. Essentially, Lira had her and Breastman on a powerlifting circuit, adjusting the weights between them as needed. After a few rounds, they found that Cait's strength had jumped into the realm of the superhuman, but just barely. She beat the WR for raw bench press, clocking in at 805 lbs, and was just under for deadlift and squat, around 1000 lbs. Given her body's increased density, Lira seemed a little surprised it wasn't higher, but in the end, just had to shrug. They called them Bullshit waves for a reason. 

She had, however, been struck by an idea during Cait's last squat rotation. Recruiting Breastman for balance, she had Cait lock her joints, and the two began to simultaneously load more and more weight onto the bar. At just over 3 tons, the hyperdense bar snapped in two across her back. 

"Ack!" Lira jumped back, cringing away from the deafening crash of the weights then looked embarrassed. "Shit, got carried away again. Cait, you're a bad influence." 

They eventually determined that, while her ability to exert force wasn't that impressive in the ranks of the Altered, no amount of force they were able to muster could move her limbs once they were locked. Again, Lira looked lost in her own fantasy at the training and testing potential this new factor represented. 

Breastman's strength assessment had been far more interesting. As with the warmups, lifts designed with a human body plan in mind didn't really mesh with his strange physiology. He could hold his central mass up with a couple tentacles and use another to hold a bar above it, but whether or not going up and down like that constituted a squat was highly debatable. After some trial and error, they found that each tentacle could exert a straight line pushing force of around 1 ton, double that pulling, and could each wave around a 750 lb dumbbell like a baby with a rattle. 

"Damn buddy, you're jacked!" Cait went in for a double high tentacle. "Y'know, even if this place was crowded, you could spot for damn near the whole gym at once." 

BREAST MAN = BEST MAN 

"Fuck yeah he does!" 

"Okay you two," Lira corralled the gym rat and her budding protégé. "We've got a couple more tests to run and it's already late." 

She looked a little thoughtful at that. "Actually, shit, are both of you good to go? It's nearly midnight, and you've both had a hell of a day." 

"I'm A1 baby," Cait said, flexing and shooting off a wink to Lira. It was true, too. Despite Lira's earlier complaints, Cait had eventually worked up a light sheen of sweat, but that was it. It seemed like her body made it to warmed up, but didn't get any further into tiredness or exhaustion. She was honestly pumped to see how she did on whatever kind of agility test AEGIS had set up. 

After a thumbs up from Breastman, Lira made a circling gesture above her head. "Well let's keep hittin' it then, come-" 

"Lira, hold up." Director Swan was holding a hand to her ear, her brow furrowed in concern. She held a finger up, and her eyes shot between Cait and Breastman. "Send Samsara to pick up Dustdevil and Sonder, I might have more backup on the way, hold on Bill. Cait, Breastman. Do or die. We have a fucking sewage elemental on Grand Avenue and all our teams are committed dealing with the Wave elsewhere. Do you want to be Guardians?"