Amaranthine- Horny Heroes

CHAPTER 13

About halfway there, Cait remembered she didn't get tired anymore and just started sprinting. As such, she made it to the Pantheon right at 12:55, early enough to see a very strange scene.

Breastman was there, escorted by the girl from that selfie earlier. She was dressed modestly now, but not so modestly that Cait couldn't tell she'd been right: this chick was stacked. She was saying her goodbyes to the little tentacle beast in front of her, and giggled as he responded in his typical mode of gestures and hat based quips. She moved to go in for a hug, seemed to realize that was an insane thing to do, then yelped with laughter as Breastman shot out all of his tentacles, wrapping them tight around her upper arms and pulling his center mass to her tummy. Cait wasn't even a little scared of Breastman, but she still had to admit the sight was a little terrifying. Then, shockingly, the cute little nerd squeezed him back, looking genuinely overjoyed to do so. 

Heh. Everybody's somebody's thing.

Breastman dropped off her, and they each waved goodbye as the other walked/rolled off. Cait jogged to catch up with her little purple buddy. 

"So that went well huh?" She slowed to a walk behind him, eyebrows dancing like they were paid to do it. He spun, kind of, more like his body rearranging itself so the mouth was facing Cait. The skin around that maw darkened in his version of a blush. 

MORE INTIMATE THAN INTENDED 

"I fuckin bet!" Cait laughed. "Forgot you've been imbued with 6 and a half times the hugging power of the average mortal?" 

Almost all of the skin on Breastman's center mass had turned an angry shade of purple black. He actually seemed to melt a little as he pulled in a few tentacles to cover himself. 

 "Hey," Cait relented. "Don't worry about it buddy. Idk how your 'vision' works, so don't know if you could see it, but that cutie was elated. You made the right play. Thought you said no horny though, right?" 

SHE'S NICE 

 STILL FEEL 

Right, not everyone sees the world in terms of fuck and not-fuck.  

"I'm glad to hear that, man." Cait felt like a bit of an idiot. "Hope I get to meet her soon! Didn't want to interrupt y'alls cute little moment though." 

Talking with Breastman reminded Cait of a deaf friend she'd had back in middle school. They could understand you perfectly fine, provided you made sure they could see your face for lip reading. Breastman was that in reverse. Through hat messages, an ever expanding gesture repertoire, and an increasingly expressive bill, he communicated better than most people. The catch was just that you had to be looking at him to get any of it. 

As they walked into the Pantheon, Cait was struck again by the dude's resilience. She'd been gifted an insane ability by the Waves, but so far she'd just continued being herself, only more so. Breastman, however, had been handed one of the worst Wave-born curses Cait had ever heard of, short of full insanity. Instead of breaking down, giving into insanity, or even just holing up in one of the comfortable holes AEGIS provided for folks like him, he seemed to be taking the chance to make an entirely new start for himself. He went by a new name, was making new friends, and had already sacrificed himself in the public defense. Sure, the tentacles had grown back, but Cait was certain he hadn't known that at the time. 

Good to have some competition for Rookie of the Year, Cait thought. A warm feeling spread in her chest as she looked at the horrible, wonderful, little guy sopping along. 

The pretty receptionist smiled as they approached the desk. She was clearly expecting them, and gave them directions to the auditorium they were scheduled to attend. They entered the large room, set up like a college lecture hall. A smattering of curious looking people filled a few of the chairs, shooting looks of appreciation or horror in the pair's direction depending on who their eyes found first. Breastman yoinked himself into a seat in the front row, and Cait followed suit. 

"Kinda thought we'd be the only newbies." She leaned over to whisper. 

Breastman gave an affirmative sort of gurgle, and tapped a tentacle under his maw. 

COULD JUST BE REGULAR EMPLOYEES 

"Fair. Bet she'll clear it up." Cait agreed, nodding towards where Director Swan had just walked in. 

 Every road a runway with her, goddamn, Cait thought, appreciating the confident beauty of the woman. It looked like this might be an orientation seminar Cait would actually listen to. 

It turned out she was half right. The orientation was clearly designed with the fact that education had gone to shit post-waves in mind. Cait had been lucky to get what she understood to have been a pretty typical pre-wave education, but judging by the way Breastman hung on every word, he hadn't. 

As it stood, Cait let the basics mostly flow in one ear and out the other. The waves had started 35 years ago in 2019, resulting in what scientists had initially thought to be freak mutations in plant and animal life combined with climate change related natural disasters. The first Guardians appeared around this time, but they were totally unorganized, putting out fires and taking down the emerging Kaiju where they could. A year later, Ivan Bulosi classified the waves as a cosmic phenomenon emanating from a cluster of stars going supernova in sequence in a neighboring galaxy. Given the fact that that sounded insane, and their seemingly random effect on, well, everything, they quickly changed from Bulosi waves to Bullshit waves in the public consciousness. 

Things went downhill from there. The waves seemed to effect things relatively evenly across the earth, but there was a lot more to effect in the ocean. Kaiju attacks on the coasts became a weekly occurrence, and there was a nearly constant stream of minor Altered Beasts coming out of the water. By 5 years after the waves started, coastal cities were no longer viable, and the centers of civilization shifted inland. Cait understood Des Moines had been considered a very minor city before, but now was one of the greater entities in the North American Allied Cities. 

That was due in part to the Tortoiseshell. While Kaiju attacks and Altered beasts were worst on the coasts, they were not entirely uncommon in-land. The wave before last had seen the entire contents of one of their vast cornfields rise up to become a big ass plant monster to attack the city. Had it not been for the Tortoiseshell keeping it from reaching the actual population the death toll would have been immense, like it had been in so many other cases. 

Her parents told her that the city felt many times less crowded in their youth, but the actual human population had been decimated before things had stabilized, with many countries being wiped out entirely. Few that remained did so unchanged, hence the rise of the NAAC. It turned out the only real defense against the effects of the waves was to fight back with people or materials touched by it. Only those cities with extreme concentrations of power were viable, so rural living had become very rare, with another great urban migration occurring around 2030. Two examples given were the technocratic Technocago and its overabundance of Meta-brains, alongside Verdant Vegas, which had come under the protection of the Paiute tribe after one of their families was Altered to receive druidic abilities which had proven to be inheritable. 

She also went over the existence of Altered Madmen, which tended to be the greatest threat humanity faced. There was a general rule, insofar that the waves could be said to have rules, that there was only so much power they could impart without the imparted going entirely insane. 

Fortunately, this was rare. Unfortunately, it meant when it happened, there was typically a new Altered stronger than all the others in the area, laying about with godlike powers in manic glee. A lot of cities had been lost to a single instance of these, before organizations like AEGIS had a chance to fully form. 

In the worst case scenario, an Altered Madman went insane in a direction that allowed them to garner power instead of simply wielding it wildly. The most extreme example of this was the Divine Coalition, where an Altered with a god complex and a power set to match had taken over the whole of southeast North America. His followers were in his thrall to the point that the Divine Coalition had actually declared Crusade against the NAAC, and added to the already considerable danger of leaving any city's protective barrier. 

Cait fell asleep then, Director Swan's silky smooth voice having the opposite effect she intended. She woke up to a tentacle deep enough in her nose that it felt like it was tickling her brain. Cait snorted, slapping it out and glaring at Breastman. 

SLAPPING DOES NOTHING 

AND U SNORE, stated his hat, and a tentacle pointed towards the podium. Director Swan glared daggers at Cait.

"Welcome back, Miss Smith," She said through a grit-toothed smile far scarier than Breastman's gaping maw. "I've just finished describing the duties of the non-Guardian employees of AEGIS, and dismissed them. You've rejoined us just in time to hear about what your day to day will be." 

Cait stayed awake this time, helped unnecessarily by the occasional tentacle in the ear, as Director Swan described their duties. They would have a rotation of city patrols, ranger patrols outside of the Tortoiseshell, and guard duty/reserve on base. In addition, they may be called on for subjugation missions for large nests or raids of Altered beasts, dangerous groups with too many Altered for ARMOR to handle, or civil emergencies like widespread fires. A kaiju attack meant all hands on deck. That last bit held doubly true during a wave, when it was relatively likely all of those emergencies would be occurring simultaneously. 

The ranger patrols in particular intrigued Cait. She'd never ventured out of the Tortoiseshell, since the fields she worked with were part of the Pilgrim Ag complex in Jamestown. Leaving without Altered abilities of your own or heavily armed escort was tantamount to suicide. Now, she doubted suicide was even an option for her, and she'd love to see a Coonbeast or Gigacarp try and kill her. 

"You will also be assigned training appointments with experienced Guardians," Director Swan continued. "These will be personalized by myself and our training staff. For example, tomorrow morning at 9 Cait will have close-combat training with Freeflow, while Breastman will continue agility work with Counterweight, and Dawn will be with me to develop her sorcery." 

"With Freeflow!?" Cait exclaimed, her eyes wide. "Oh man, my mom is gonna be pumped!" 

Wait, Dawn? Cait spun around, searching the seats. In the shadows of the back row, Cait could barely make out a tall lean figure, and the outline of long horns. Shrugging, she turned her attention back to the front. 

Director Swan smiled wryly.

"Yes, I'm sure you'll love what Des Moines' greatest Guardian has in store for you. After that, you'll each be joining Eyebite for a routine city patrol." She resumed her spiel. "Pete will show you the ropes. If you meet any prospective teammates between now and then, they may join you as well." 

She clapped her hands together, indicating she was finished. "Now! Miss Smith you'll be surprised to hear it's almost time for your appointment with Intake. All the information I just gave you should already be loaded onto your schedules. Head back out front and Kristy will get you sorted." 

As she and Breastman rose to leave, Cait got distracted watching the director's hips sway as she walked away. She remembered too late to try and catch a glimpse of Dawn as they left, but the third mystery Guardian was already gone.