Univrsal Marchant :MCU /Arrowverse

Chapter 4: The God of Thunder and the Pop-Tart

My next target: New Mexico, 2011. During the events of the first Thor movie. Specifically, when the big guy was at his lowest, depowered, dumped on Earth, and desperately trying to lift a very stubborn hammer out of a crater. A prime opportunity for a benevolent broker to make a friend and snag some cool powers.

I calibrated my jump, picturing the dusty, desolate landscape, the scattered military presence, and that giant, impossible crater with Mjolnir embedded in its center. The familiar spatial distortion, the slight tug of reality shifting, and then… whoosh.

I landed softly on the rocky terrain, a few hundred yards from the makeshift S.H.I.E.L.D. outpost. The air crackled with a strange, ambient energy, a ghost of divine power. And there, by the crater, a figure sat hunched, radiating an aura of magnificent, cosmic despair. Thor Odinson. De-powered, despondent, and looking like he'd just had his favorite toy taken away.

"Alright, Adam. This is not the time for fanboying. This is the time for empathy. And Pop-Tarts. Never underestimate the power of a good Pop-Tart. Or six."

I walked casually towards him, making sure my steps were audible but non-threatening. He looked up, his bright blue eyes dulled with frustration, but still holding that inherent Asgardian nobility, even in civilian clothes. He looked like he was about to punch something. Or cry. Maybe both.

"Rough day?" I offered, my tone sympathetic. I held up a six-pack of what the System assured me was "top-tier Earth beer" and a box of strawberry Pop-Tarts. "Sometimes, a little sugar and a cold one can make even the most impossible problems seem… slightly less impossible."

Thor stared at the offerings, then at me. His brow furrowed. "You… approach one of the Aesir with these… mortal provisions?" He sounded less offended, more utterly confused.

"Well, you look like you could use a friend and some carbs," I said, shrugging. "And a good brew. The universe is a harsh mistress, isn't she? Especially when she decides to take away your favorite hammer and strand you in a desert."

He blinked. The comment about the hammer hit home. His gaze flickered to Mjolnir, then back to me. "How do you know of Mjolnir?"

"Oh, you know, word gets around," I said vaguely. "I'm a… traveler. And I've heard tales of legendary weapons. And even more legendary hangovers. Trust me, I speak from experience on the latter." I offered him a beer.

He hesitated, then slowly took it. He popped it open, took a swig, his eyes widening. "This… this is a fine ale! Better than some in the halls of Asgard!"

"See? Earth's not all bad. We have good beer. And," I tore open the Pop-Tart box, handing him a foil-wrapped pastry, "we have these. They are glorious. Trust me on this one, God of Thunder."

He unwrapped the Pop-Tart, sniffing it cautiously. He took a hesitant bite. His eyes closed. A look of pure, unadulterated bliss spread across his face.

"This… this is… ambrosia!" he declared, his voice booming slightly despite his de-powered state. "What magic is this, mortal?"

"It's called a Pop-Tart, my friend," I said, grinning. "Score! Pop-Tarts for the win! I'm basically the interdimensional Willy Wonka, but instead of chocolate, it's powers."

He devoured the first one, then opened another. "You are a strange one, Adam Stiels. But your gifts… they are most welcome."

"Glad to be of service," I replied, sitting down beside him on a rock, watching him happily munch. "Now, about those gifts. I'm a broker, you see. I deal in unique exchanges. And while these delights are truly a gift of friendship, I have a small… request. A trade, if you will."

He stopped chewing, looking at me with a mouthful of pastry. "A trade? What could you possibly desire from a de-powered god?"

"Just a simple touch," I said, gesturing towards Mjolnir. "Your hammer. I know I can't lift it. Believe me, I tried in a dream once; it was humiliating. But a connection. A moment to… experience its essence."

Thor looked from Mjolnir to me, then back to his Pop-Tart. He was clearly intrigued by my odd request, and possibly still under the spell of the pastries. "You wish to merely… touch it? Not to claim its power?"

"Nope," I confirmed. "Just a connection. For my… research."

He considered for a long moment, then nodded. "Very well, Adam Stiels. For the Pop-Tarts. And the ale. You may touch Mjolnir." He even sounded a little amused.

I walked over to the crater, my heart hammering a little. This was it. Direct interaction with a power source of divine origin. I extended my hand, placing it gently on the cold, engraved metal of Mjolnir.

TRADE INITIATED. ITEM: EARTHLY PROVISIONS (BEER & POP-TARTS). RECIPIENT: THOR ODINSON. RESOURCE: CONNECTION TO MJOLNIR. ACQUIRED: SKILL – LIGHTNING CONTROL. TP AWARDED: DIVINE TIER.

A blinding flash, though only visible to me. A surge of raw, untamed energy, like a miniature lightning bolt arcing through my arm. It wasn't painful, just incredibly intense. My body, thanks to the System's "Adaptable Body" mechanic, immediately began to absorb and integrate the foreign energy. I felt a subtle hum, a new resonance in my very core. My hair didn't stand on end, but I felt like I could probably jump-start a car with a thought.

I pulled my hand away, a faint tremor running through me. The hum remained. "Holy crap. I have lightning powers. I can probably make toast with my bare hands now! Or power a small city block! Don't tell Tony Stark, he'd try to put a chip in me."

Thor, who had been watching, took another bite of his Pop-Tart. "Did you… feel anything, mortal?"

"Oh, just a slight… tingle," I said, trying to sound nonchalant, which was hard when my fingers were practically buzzing with latent electricity. I rubbed them together, and a tiny, almost imperceptible spark jumped between my thumb and forefinger. "Feels like… possibility. Thanks, Thor. Seriously. These Pop-Tarts are on me. Anytime you're feeling down, just let me know."

He grinned, a flash of his old, boisterous self returning. "Then I shall call upon you often, Adam Stiels! You are a true friend of Asgard!"

"Yes! Friendship achieved through junk food! My methods are impeccable. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try to charge my phone with my new god-tier electricity."