The Love They Never Had

"Young Master Nam; my father told me that you sent a bronze mirror and several runs of dowries for me to find a husband for myself, despite out close relationship and I have no idea what I have done wrong, so I respectfully ask you to take back everything" "There is nothing close about us; you chose to cling onto me without taking myself and my opinions and heart into consideration at all. You belong to the family of my enemy and I wish to have no ties to you at all." "You say that I clung onto you, but I do not remember you saying anything about that when we…" "I was in a bad place then and you didn't allow me to get a word in edgewise. So now I respectfully ask that you leave me alone and evict yourself from my work premises since I thought that you were a smart person, and a smart person should know when to stop." I kept her on her knees in the bitter cold at night for as along as I could to make sure that she suffered the fullest extent of her and her sister's crimes against…my childhood friend. "I have been your companion here, have you already forgotten all about it, Young Master Nam?"

"A companion? You were my companion? When exactly was this? Because I have had only one female companion in my entire life; someone that I ate with, worked with and laughed with deep affection for one another. That is what I call a companion. I only met you once in the military camp in Liadong and I didn't hear from you since then all of these years ago, so what close ties do we have together? Oh, apart from the fact that you were the one who sent that damned concubine to my home shortly after that and caused me t almost loose my mind, my life and even my work goals!" "I…how did you know about that?" "Because you are the only one to even bring her up after all of these years, that is how! What on earth were you thinking" "I…have to admit that I got rather jealous when I found out that you were housing a girl that you were not related to by blood when I asked my men to look into your background, so I paid Chun-Ae to find her to drive her out of your life and…."

I hadn't tasted anger like this in a while now; it drove me to break everything that she had placed in front of my door and I almost ripped her apart by her throat if she didn't throw herself at my legs and started pleading for mercy in front of the damned servants. "I understand that you have no feelings for me yet, but I am sure that you will develop feelings for me in time, just like how you no longer pull a sour face in front of me anymore! Why can't you just admit it…!" "Enough! Stop trying to feed into your delusions just like your sister does!" "But I have already made our marriage known to everyone in the capital! If they find out that you refuse now, how will I be able to face anyone ever again!" "How is that my problem? Since I do not recall asking for your hand in marriage at all!" "Please! For the sake of my feelings for you, please take me in as your main wife!" "I already have someone for the position of my main wife, so you should just give up now and I will send you more dowry carts for you family to survive on until the end of the year at least…." "I just have feelings for you! Is that so wrong!" "It is wrong since I do not possess any feeling for you at all! But since having unwanted feelings isn't wrong to you, then let me ask you what wrong did your sister's unborn child do to you! The one that you killed when you…" "How did you….no….you cannot accuse me without any proof!" "…and your default finance at the time? Right around your sister's grand wedding? People did warn him that he was marrying a ruthless snake despite his unfortunate illness, but it wasn't enough to kill him at such a young age. You were the one who killed him on his wedding day, and as to what methods you used, I do not need to indulge that information, do I?"

"Why are you doing this? Why are you rejecting me just like you have rejected every other powerful woman that has come your way apart from that orphan! You say that I am clinging onto you without taking in your consideration? Am I simply not doing the exact same thing that you have done to her!" "What are you…"

"I know what you did to that girl when she was still unconscious under your father's roof, I know all about how your long awaited grand plans only came into fruition right after you stole her from her brother, I know all that she did to protect you, including taking down her now fiancé to help your career in the palace. And you are really angry at me right now; so must also know more about me than I am aware, so you must be venting you're anger out on me to…." "To what?" "To distract yourself from your misaligned priorities, because right now, it very much sounds like you are thinking about that girl more than you should"! "You…!" "Young Master! The Fifth Prince is urgently calling you to his private quarters immediately! He is furious!" "Why? What has happened?" "Seo Yeon seems to have run away from the residence! Her quarters remain empty and her horse is also missing…" "Young Master Nam! Where are you going! Are you going to look for her? Please do not leave me here on my own with no support at all!" "I will go after her! Who do you think you are to stop me! I will never reciprocate your affections, so why persist so shamefully?" "Because she doesn't love you anymore! Don't you see? You were both parted for month and instead of staying by your side, she chose to leave you! I know that she possess…sentimental value for you, but does she feel the same way? Especially after experiencing such luxury in the brothel by becoming independent? Because that is exactly the kind of woman that she is and you know it! If you didn't pursue her, who knows where you two would stand now with each other? You both might have become strangers after all…" "Lady Min! I have work to attend to! And if you do not apologise to Seo Yeon and bring her to me, then I will destroy you along with your brother-in-law!" "Are you…threatening me? Even at a time like this?" "I was young and I didn't know better how to handle you in the past, but I do now. You must meet my conditions or I shall hand you over to your own sister with my own hands!"

I ran away from her as soon as I saw her falter in her speech, otherwise she would have kept me by her side forever, only to run into all of the residents that were speculating about what could have happened to her. "…you fool! She did not run away!" "…what did the Fifth Prince say about it? How angry was she? Did he say how he will punish her?" "No, he will most likely carry her in his arms in full glory…" "what! He really will not punish her? That vixen…how is able to get away with everything! How are her flowery words so powerful, even in the brothel when she got out of service…" "the truth will not matter when she returns…" "None of these men want to let her go so easily…" "whoever hurts her will only be hurting themselves in return…" "must we just let her go then? How infuriating, she has been here for over a year now anyways.." "…she behaves in such unexpected ways. We will just have to wait and see what new trouble that she will stir up now in her absence…" "and we sill find opportunities to make up for it in the future…" "maybe she found anther man to seduce…" "but if she really was meeting other men in private, she would have been spotted a long time ago and would have locked herself up in her quarters. But she still escaped, wound't she be wooed about anyone telling her brother about this? Just as her fiancé was summoned to work…"

"Young Master! We have what we were looking for! If you want to make your move, then we should leave right now!" "Very well, relay this message to the Prince that I shall bring Seo Yeon back with me soon after I carry out this task for him."

I was a useless lover, and I was about to become a useless husband…but what could I do? I couldn't let her got despite my flaws and failures, and the very thought of somebody else possessing her as I once had with full confidence in myself and of full conviction of her love for me. I could only imagine the torment that she had suffered in my absence…and her longing for me. If I came back in one piece and I saw even a hair of her's out of place…I had some men who worked under me before I was drafted into this war find the maid and take her to meet me somewhere private…. They all dropped her into the brothel when they found out that she was the best designer and now had her own workshop. They've done everything they can to destroy it, but nothing has worked…. I was going to do my best to gather evidence against everyone who had done this to her; her brother's connection to the prince would surely only complicate things when he found his sister eventually. And I started it with writing a letter, along with a lock of Yeon's hair that I had managed to cut off while she slept, and a little ring that she always wore on her smallest finger that she arrived with under my father's roof. Only for Yeon could I do this and was only going to do this once and never again, and for her brother as well.