My Perfect Apocalyptic Life

In the recent parking fee collection activity, Meng Xu managed to gather 242 yuan in cash. He couldn’t help but reflect on the situation, feeling somewhat exasperated.

Technology had indeed advanced so much that people hardly carried cash anymore, relying on their phones as if they were wallets. This frustrated Meng Xu deeply.

Where would he find money if nobody carried any? Was he supposed to rob a bank? He figured that his Perfect Life System probably wouldn’t approve of such an action.

However the zombies’ phones were useless now and most were locked, so without knowing their lock screen or payment passwords, it was unrealistic for Meng Xu to expect to transfer money from them directly.

So, the only option left was to scavenge the scarce amount of cash available.

“That’s it then,” Meng Xu said after clearing out the zombies in the area. He turned to Zhang Lunping with a relaxed expression, “We’ve collected the parking fees. Let’s go.”

“Hold on, bro,” Zhang Lunping suddenly stopped Meng Xu, lowering his voice and handing over a packet, “As a newbie here, I’ve brought you a little gift.”

Meng Xu, intrigued, quickly opened the packet to find it stuffed with bank cards and several red banknotes.

Oh, a bribe!

You’re catching on fast, kid!

【A perfect life requires adherence to correct values! As the pillar of a corporation, Chairman Meng, you must not be tempted by such petty gains! Sternly reprimand this employee trying to take shortcuts, stop the improper practices within your company, and eradicate this behavior! Accepting it might greatly affect your task rating and alter the course of your task!】

Reading the golden line of text before him, Meng Xu’s hand twitched while holding the packet.

It’s the apocalypse, brother. Can’t you let it slide? Why so serious?

Meng Xu was at a loss for words, unsure what impact it would have on the task rating or how a change in course might affect things.

But he decided to drop it. After all, there was at most a thousand in cash, and the rest was in bankbooks, which couldn’t be accessed now.

With this in mind, Meng Xu coldly faced Zhang Lunping, putting on an expression of deep disappointment and heartache, “Zhang, how could you do this? I’m truly disappointed!”

Zhang Lunping was taken aback by Meng Xu’s sudden scolding. Just a second ago, Meng Xu had been pleasant and seemed to accept the gift. Why the sudden outburst?

What’s going on?

Zhang Lunping was confused but quickly adjusted his mindset: Why argue with a ‘mentally active’ Chairman Meng?

He’s mentally active; does that mean I should be too?

“Chairman Meng, I’m sorry. I was wrong,” Zhang Lunping apologized sincerely, standing firm yet respectful. “I’ll reflect on this. I should not have tried to bribe my way into a promotion and a raise. I’m sorry!”

“Good,” Meng Xu nodded in satisfaction. “Recognizing and correcting your mistakes is commendable. Don’t let it happen again.”

With that, Meng Xu casually extracted the ten red banknotes and then returned the wallet to Zhang Lunping.

Zhang Lunping: ???

What does this mean?

“But I understand the sentiment of a new employee wanting to treat their boss to a meal,” Meng Xu said kindly, pocketing the money. “Alright, I’ll just grab some KFC downstairs later. You’re too generous, Zhang, next time, I’ll treat you to a meal.”

Duly noted.

Zhang Lunping opened his mouth but didn’t know what to say.

Quickly recovering, he broke out in a cold sweat and forced a smile, speaking softly, “Chairman Meng, about my promotion to a permanent position…”

Despite the apocalypse making such a promotion seem irrelevant, he felt the need to align himself with Meng Xu’s logic!

“Wait and see,” Meng Xu replied casually. “As long as you work hard and create value for the company, why wouldn’t we make you a permanent employee? Keep up the good work, Zhang, I have great faith in you.”

Permanent position?

For a few banknotes, do you think you can be promoted that easily?

Wait for three months!

Zhang Lunping nodded obsequiously, praising Meng Xu’s wisdom and martial prowess.

Not far from their conversation, a door partly opened, revealing Zhou Yanni peeking through the gap. Seeing her husband discuss ‘promotion’ and ‘gifting’ with Meng Xu, her eyes filled with astonishment and confusion.

She couldn’t understand what her husband was doing, feeling confused and bewildered.

It felt like she had walked into some mental hospital.

Her husband and the remarkably strong Chairman Meng seemed like patients in a mental hospital.

The thought made Zhou Yanni shiver.

She couldn’t grasp it.

Despite Zhang Lunping explaining the ‘mentally active state’ earlier, witnessing these events firsthand made her even more anxious, pushing her towards a mental breakdown.

Soon, Meng Xu finished speaking with Zhang Lunping, and Zhou Yanni quickly closed the door, sighing deeply.

What else could they do now?

In such a chaotic apocalypse, they could only take one step at a time.

“Creak.”

Meng Xu opened the door, reclaiming the wrench he had given to Zhang Lunping. He glanced at Zhou Yanni, who seemed a bit fearful of him and shook his head.

This intern still hadn’t integrated into the work environment.

No worries, there’s plenty of time.

This period would be enough for her to feel at home, and the company would certainly make her feel welcome.

Meng Xu nodded in satisfaction, striding upstairs.

His demeanor was natural, exuding a relaxed humor.

It’s just like going home.

The former owner of the baseball bat at the building entrance was now rotting and grotesque, having been disemboweled, presenting a ghastly sight.

Zhang Lunping and Zhou Yanni, upon seeing this, tightened their hold on their child, not daring to make a sound, and followed closely behind Meng Xu.

Seeing the tense expressions on Zhang Lunping and Zhou Yanni’s faces, Meng Xu felt he needed to do something to ease their anxiety.

Otherwise, how could he build a harmonious and beautiful company?

So, just as they reached the corner on the third floor, Meng Xu casually asked, “It’s been a long time since Xiao Ming had a meal, then he suddenly got a heap of delicious food and started gobbling it down. After feeling a bit full, but still wanting to eat more, he asked his stomach, ‘Stomach, can you still handle more?’ What do you think the stomach said?”

Meng Xu’s question caught Zhang Lunping and Zhou Yanni off guard. They had no idea what he meant.

Zhang Lunping was stunned and quickly began to overthink.

What does Chairman Meng mean by this? Is he hinting at us?

Is he suggesting not to be too greedy and to know our limits?

Assimilating his experience from the workplace, Zhang Lunping prepared to assure Meng Xu of his loyalty with a firm declaration.

But before Zhang Lunping could speak, Meng Xu calmly continued, “The stomach said just one thing.”

“I’m not called Stomach, I’m Chu Yuxun.”

Zhang Lunping and Zhou Yanni: ???

Before they could react, Meng Xu had already reached the fourth floor.

“Roar—hiss~”

The two old-timers, Zhang Tao and Chi Wei, were chained at the fourth-floor entrance, they saw a figure, they first let out a roar, but quickly realized it was Meng Xu. They immediately ceased their growling and retreated to the corner, subdued.

Standing at the entrance of the fourth floor, Meng Xu gazed at the familiar office and felt a wave of emotion.

“I’m finally back!”

Chairman Meng had returned to his most loyal company today!

—

TN: In the joke, the punchline humorously names the stomach “Chu Yuxin,” playing on the idea that the stomach is so personified that it has a name of its own