I’m a Doorman at an Assassin’s Hotel

Orthanc Tower stood shrouded in a dim mist, a dark spire piercing the somber skies of Middle-earth. Inside, the air was eerily silent, and the softly glowing runes on the walls seemed to murmur unspeakable secrets.

At the apex of the tower, Saruman stood before a massive crystal orb, his penetrating gaze seemingly peering through time and space. His white robes shimmered faintly in the dim light, exuding a cold and pallid radiance.

"This is your plan?" His voice was low, tinged with skepticism, yet carried undeniable authority.

"A plan," came a deep, raspy voice from behind him, tinged with mockery. "This is merely the beginning. What we offer you is the key to realizing your desires."

Another figure stepped out of the shadows, their voice calm and confident, exuding an air of impenetrable assurance. "And your task is to guard the keystone, ensuring it does not fall into the wrong hands."

Saruman turned slowly, his sharp gaze falling on the two men before him. One wore a crimson robe, a gemstone-adorned ring glinting on his finger; the other, clad in black, his face hidden behind a mask, seemed poised to counter any threat at a moment's notice.

"Who are you?" Saruman's voice was cold, his eyes piercing.

The man in red smiled faintly, his ring emitting a faint glow. "You need only know that we are not aligned with Sauron. Your choices, however, will decide the outcome of this war."

"The fate of Middle-earth rests in our hands," said the man in black, his posture seemingly calm, though the tension in his clenched fist betrayed his readiness for action.

Saruman's eyes moved between the two men. After a long silence, he asked in a low voice, "What do you want?"

The man in red smiled, speaking slowly. "Cooperation. Nothing more."

The hall fell silent once more, the only sound being the faint, restless hum of the crystal orb, like an uneasy heartbeat.

The next morning, Rivendell lay shrouded in a light mist as the sun broke through, casting faint rays across the Elven courtyard. Despite the serene surroundings, the mood among the gathering was heavy with the weight of impending departure. Lorne, Elyssa, and a few Elven escorts stood in the courtyard, each wearing expressions that reflected their respective thoughts.

"Orthanc isn't exactly close," Lorne remarked, gazing at the towering mountain range in the distance. He sighed. "How are we supposed to get there? On foot?"

"Walking isn't an option, and we don't have that much time," Elyssa responded curtly, her voice carrying a hint of impatience.

Lorne spread his hands, feigning helplessness. "So what then? Fly there on a wing and a prayer? I can't do magic, you know."

"Be useful, Lorne," Elyssa shot him a sharp glance before continuing. "Whether on horseback or otherwise, we must find the fastest way. Otherwise, the mission's deadline will be wasted."

"Riding might not cut it," Aragorn said from under the shade of a nearby tree. His voice was low and cautious. "The terrain around Orthanc is treacherous, and Sauron's forces patrol that area frequently. Conventional travel won't guarantee safety."

Scratching his head, Lorne inwardly cursed: This mission sounds more like a suicide run with every word. He glanced around for inspiration but quickly gave up.

Just then, a cheerful birdcall pierced the silence. Turning toward the sound, they saw a brown-robed figure emerging slowly from the forest.

The man, with a wild beard and a few birds perched on his head, pushed a peculiar wooden cart brimming with bottles, branches, and other unidentifiable objects.

"Radagast!" Aragorn called out, his tone a mix of surprise and relief.

"That's me!" Radagast beamed, waving a hand. "You all look confused. Ran into a bit of trouble, eh?"

"We need to reach Orthanc quickly," Elyssa said bluntly, her icy gaze fixed on him. "Do you have a way?"

"Orthanc, you say?" Radagast scratched his head, then burst out laughing. "Of course! And as luck would have it, I've got just the thing."

Lorne blinked, his face full of doubt. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." Radagast slapped the side of his wooden cart, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "This isn't your ordinary ride. It'll get you through forests, over rough terrain, and even away from trouble."

"Really?" Lorne eyed the cart skeptically. "How fast is this thing? I'd rather not get caught halfway by a pack of orcs."

"Don't you worry!" Radagast assured him, clapping a hand on Lorne's shoulder. "It's faster than you think. Hop on and see for yourself."

"Enough talk." Elyssa cut through the banter, stepping onto the cart with practiced ease. She looked at the others and commanded, "Let's go. No time to waste."

"Alright, alright," Lorne muttered, clambering onto the cart with a resigned sigh. He cast a glance back at Aragorn, who gave a slight nod and nudged his horse to follow.

"Hold tight!" Radagast yelled, snapping the reins. The cart lurched forward and, to Lorne's dismay, accelerated rapidly, careening toward the forest.

"Whoa, slow down!" Lorne shouted, gripping the edge of the cart for dear life. "Are you sure this thing won't fall apart?!"

"Relax! The forest's magic is guiding us!" Radagast cackled, his voice brimming with confidence.

The wheels spun furiously over roots and rocks as the forest blurred past. The air was filled with the crisp scent of greenery, but the group knew well enough that their journey was only just beginning.

The cart sped through the forest at a breakneck pace, leaving Lorne clutching the railing, pale-faced and gasping for breath. Up front, Radagast hummed a tune, seemingly oblivious to his passenger's distress.

"Can we slow down a bit, Radagast?!" Lorne finally managed to shout, his voice nearly drowned out by the rushing wind.

"Slow down?" Radagast turned briefly to raise an eyebrow. "Young man, speed is all about perspective. By my measure, we're already taking it easy!"

"Easy?!" Lorne gawked at the trees whizzing past. "We're outrunning rabbits, for crying out loud!"

"Rabbits enjoy the journey, not the destination!" Radagast retorted philosophically before snapping the reins again. The cart jolted, its wheels rattling violently over a large root.

Lorne's head banged against the side of the cart, and he groaned. "If I survive this trip, I'm petitioning Middle-earth for better transportation laws!"

"What's that, lad?" Radagast glanced over his shoulder with a smirk.

"I said if we crash, Orthanc might celebrate losing two more threats!" Lorne snapped, throwing his hands up.

"Nonsense!" Radagast declared with a grin. "They'll be terrified once they realize they've yet to face Radagast the Brown at full power!"

As if to emphasize his point, Radagast whipped the reins, and the cart soared over a narrow creek. Lorne's stomach dropped, and he screamed, "Warn me next time!"

"Warnings ruin the fun of adventure!" Radagast bellowed with laughter.

Behind them, Sam and Frodo jostled in their own cart, equally shaken by the wild ride.

"Are they even still alive up there?" Sam whispered, staring wide-eyed at the distant blur of Radagast's cart.

"I hope so, Sam," Frodo murmured weakly. "I just hope we find him in one piece when we get there."

When they finally came to a stop on a flat clearing, Lorne all but collapsed out of the cart, gasping for air. "Thank heavens I'm still alive…"

Radagast hopped off with ease, patting the cart affectionately. "What a fine ride! Fast and sturdy!"

"Sturdy?!" Lorne gaped at him, incredulous. "Do you even know what that word means?"

"Stop complaining." Elyssa dismounted with practiced precision, her gaze fixed on the dense forest ahead. "The real challenge starts now."

Radagast motioned for everyone to gather around. "From here on, the cart won't do. We'll be trekking on foot through the woods. But don't worry, with me here, nothing will touch you."

"Confident, aren't you?" Elyssa gave him a cold glance. "Can you guarantee this forest is safe?"

"Absolutely!" Radagast chuckled, waving a dismissive hand. "The creatures here know me well. As long as we don't bother them, they won't bother us."

Lorne muttered under his breath, "Let's hope his 'friends' aren't hungry…"

As they set off into the shadowy woods, Radagast kept the group entertained with tales of the forest's "marvels." He mimicked bird calls and gestured animatedly at every turn.

"Here once lived an enormous owl whose feathers reflected moonlight. At night, it was like a moving star…"

"Radagast, can we focus on the task at hand?" Elyssa interrupted, exasperated. "We're not here for a nature tour."

"You young folks are far too impatient," Radagast sighed dramatically. "The beauty of Middle-earth lies in these details, and you don't even appreciate them."

Lorne wisely bit back a retort, certain Elyssa's glare would silence any humor.

The forest grew darker, the branches above intertwining so densely that they blotted out the sky. The oppressive silence swallowed even the faintest insect chirps.

"This place… feels off," Lorne whispered, gripping his sword tightly.

"Watch your step," Elyssa cautioned, her eyes scanning the surroundings with predatory precision.

"Relax!" Radagast said cheerily. "The forest's essence is benevolent. Trust it, and it will guide us."

As he spoke, a root suddenly snaked out of the ground, tripping Radagast and sending him sprawling face-first into the dirt.

"Benevolent, huh?" Lorne laughed, helping him up. "Looks like the forest has an opinion about you."

"Ah, just a minor misstep!" Radagast brushed himself off, looking slightly sheepish. "Even the best of friends have their misunderstandings."

"Is that so?" Elyssa said coolly, clearly uninterested in Radagast's excuses.

Lorne sighed as the group pressed on, muttering, "If the ride was this chaotic, the rest of this mission is bound to be a nightmare…"