If I'm not normal, then y'all aren't NORMAL!!!!

 "Thank you for inviting me to this interview, but can I please leave this book?" Palakala sat on a plastic chair.

 (No, because I'm the author.)

 "Dang it. Well, go ahead."

 (You're 22, and you're using your parents' money. You're slacking off in a convenience store. Don't you feel ashamed of yourself?)

 "THE FUCK IS THAT QUESTION!? Of course, the author who created Craycray ain't normal one bit!" Palakala is a degenerate virgin asshole. He can be written however the author wants. "Well, I'm writing my own songs, you see. I studied in a music school. My parents are lenient in letting me chase my dream. They didn't even tell me to work in the convenience store. I chose to earn my own money. The only money I'm using from my parents is for my apartment rent."

 (Second question: How are you friends with Craycray?)

 Palakala tilted his head very slowly, enlarging his eyes as big as bowling balls.

 (If you stare at me like that for two more seconds, your eyes will suddenly burn in fire, and you'll be forced to stay by Craycray's very side while blind.)

 "Who said I'm friends with that maniac???" He shook his head so fast that it would turn into a helicopter rotor that flew him to another planet. "Okay, you can say that. I met her in the convenience store, and she didn't wait a second to showcase her weirdness. Now that I've worked with her for five months, I've gotten used to it. Also, I sympathized with her past."

 (How the hell did you get used to it? I'm not even used to writing characters like that.)

 "Well, we also share the same music taste. It's crazy, actually. I graduated from a music school, yet she sometimes understands music more than me."

 "Ezra? Got… Got it!"

 Palakala peered repugnantly at me (back to Craycray).

 "Why did she apply nicknames to all of us but not to this guy!?"

 "This... This is so not normal of me! Isn't it a normal desire to sleep with 243.51754 opposite or same sex for everyone? Why am I falling for this one guy?" I couldn't lie. My body was vibrating faster than my vibrator. Was this what people call…love at first sight?

 "Why is Craycray looking as if she's fallen in love at first sight!? That's the last thing a maniac like her would do!!" Palakala despised every second of my blush.

 Ezra, the hung who met me in my dad's convenience store, possessed the charm of both Eastern and Western countries. Not a single stubble could be seen. Even if he grew a beard, I bet it would look great on his narrow jawline and symmetrical visage. He brushed his black hair backward so cleanly.

 Children could sit on his broad shoulders. A shrug could send them flying. His butt looked so firm but squishable. I could lick his long legs every day. Such a perfect V-shaped torso, his waist was so thin that I could grab and hump from behind. Dang it, I couldn't see the size of his penis.

 "Palakala, pull his pants down for me," I whispered, and Palakala pushed my face away.

 "What a coincidence, right, Craycray and Palakala?" Ezra smiled so gently. Please smile more. I was close to orgasm.

 "Right, but my name is Simon, actually." Palakala shook his hand. I wanted to fondle his hands, too.

 "Hm? Why does Craycray call you Palakala?" Dumdum asked. Between us was the music café's table, three cups of iced americano, and one orange juice for Dumdum.

 "...For Craycray and my sake, I shouldn't tell them why she named me—"

 "I name…named him because he makes…makes that sound when he farts." I couldn't look into Ezra's eyes! And why was Palakala squinting at me!?

 "She just exposed herself, idiot! They're gonna think you're—"

 "Haha, that's cute." Ezra laughed softly like I tickled his glans while Dumdum fell into ponder.

 "...IS NO ONE NORMAL HERE!?" Palakala tapped the table fast and hard. I bet he wished he could finger women like that.

 "Dumdum sounds cute, too. Maybe I'll start calling you Dumdum," Ezra said, and Dumdum shrugged. "What have you been doing here, though?"

 "We just had a few chats. I was telling her my dream of becoming a rock star! She was very supportive," Dumdum exclaimed, but fell into pondering promptly. "No, why did I talk to her to begin with?"

 "Supportive!?" Palakala questioned. "She? Craycray? This tall-ass girl was being supportive? Excuse my language."

 "Yes! She even gave me tips. She's a fan of Radiohead, so I do trust her musicality."

 "Woah. You're a fan of Radiohead, too?" Palakala's eyes lit up. I remembered that Radiohead was why he and I started talking, too. "What's your favorite song?"

 "Uh, 'Creep!'"

 "Go die."

 "And 'How to Disappear Completely,' 'Letdown,' or 'All I need,'" Dumdum added.

 "Ah, I love Letdown, too!" Ezra said. "I love 'Videotape,' 'Street Spirit,' too."

 "YOOO!! Letdown is my favorite!!!" Palakala stood and gave them high-fives. His hyperbolic reaction made me high-five his butt.

 "Y'all know 'Beach Coffin' from 'Sly Rabbit?' That, to me, is the perfect song."

Any normal human being loves that song.

 "Ah, not that one."

 ...

 Tears lingered in my round eyes. I thought Ezra was the perfect man. But as it turned out, he was just a handsome gentleman who was not normal.

 "Aw, that's a great one! I highly—" Palakala flinched when I leaped up.

 I went to the indie rock shelf and found "Twin Death." I returned in less than twenty seconds.

 "Plea... Please, give this album a try," I said nervously. I wasn't being myself.

 "Aw, indie rock."

 "Why did I talk to Craycray again?" Dumdum was still thinking until he heard Ezra. "Indie rock? Indie rock is the only rock I don't enjoy, honestly. I'm not a fan of country-like songs."

 I took back everything I said. I wished Dumdum achieves his music dream in a gay strip club where he dances and sings and has a dick in his ass at the same time.

 "Da heck!?" I jumped up again and slammed my hands on the table. "Indie has no relation to country whatsoever."

 "Huh? I thought… What does indie stand for?"

"It means music made independent of major labels. It gives a wholesome campfire vibe! That's why it sounds like country sometimes. It gave birth to many alternative rock songs. It's independent, so it can be as experimental as it wants! How isn't that—"

 "UHHHH YEAH, WE HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS ALBUM," Palakala said robotically and covered my mouth.

 "Haha. I didn't have many chances to appreciate indie music, too." Ezra's eyes locked onto me. It made me drool onto Palakala's hand. "But I would love to try."

 "Ye... Yes... Please!" I tossed Palakala's drenched hand back onto his face. "Dumdum! You, too!"

 "Hmm, I think—"

 "I gave you tips! I'm supporting you to become a rock star!! Trust big sis over here!!!"

 "Fine. I'll try."

 "Wait, she gave you tips on becoming a rock star?" Palakala's eyes quickly switched between me and Dumdum.

 "Yep."

 "About what you need to experience before being a great musician?"

 "Mhm."

 "And you have nothing to say about it?"

 "Well, I'm considering the small things like trying an adult beverage or so."

 "But she also suggested some…big things…to a high schooler like you?"

 "Yep."

 "...NO GOD! PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!!!" Palakala acted so weirdly. Wasn't it nice for a senior to help the juniors?

 "We would love some ideas!" Of course, Ezra would appreciate my help. "Our school has many competitions and performances and even concerts. Next year, there'll be a tournament against four other partner schools."

 "Is it a musical or art school?"

 "No. It's the Hang School, just two blocks away from here. But, our school promotes itself by these competitions, especially musical competitions."

 "Sure! I'm a graduate of a music university in America." Palakala went to America? How were the male bitches there?

 "Woah!"

 "We can give some tips on performing or writing your own sheet." Then, Palakala gnashed his teeth and glared at me. "NOT SOME LIFE TIPS THOUGH."

 "What? Everyone wants to live normally, no?" And I wasn't the first person to say people who don't have tragic pasts are babies. I was saying what people on the internet said.

 As we traded contacts, Dumdum was pondering again. I didn't care what lewd image was in his head, but Ezra… I… I wasn't sure what he felt about me! I didn't desire to die, and jumping off a building was a must after being rejected. If it wasn't a must, then why were everyone crying and yelling "END MY MISERY" online after a breakup?

 Those who wouldn't kill themselves after crap just aren't normal!

 (Huh? Why didn't you kill yourself when your mother died, and your father was in jail?)

 "Aren't those things to show off? Breaking up is more of a thing to bawl in your best girly friend's and cry 'WAHH I HAVE THE CRAPPIEST LIFE EVER.' You know, parents don't really matter, but this is one of the few topics that I'm unsure whether if it's normal or not. At least I know I quite enjoy the time when my parents were there."

 "Craycray, may I have your UsChat?" Ezra asked.

 "YEYEYEYE YES!!" I was shaking hard with my phone that he couldn't scan my QR Code. "Crap, I think I need to be cautious! I don't want to die, and I don't want him to reject my confession!! I must wait!!!"

 "Ah! I remember why I talked to Craycray," Dumdum suddenly said. "I wanted to ask you things about Pollen."

 "Pollen?" Ezra tilted his head.

 "Uh, you're talking about Susan, right?" Palakala glared at me.

 "I think? You know her, too? She's our classmate. I saw her with Craycray yesterday."

 "Ahhh, I see what you're trying to do~" Palakala.

 "What? Hm..." Dumdum.

 "Haha. You're not even trying to hide it." Ezra.

 "I like her! And I have no regrets!" Dumdum.

 "That's cute. I can tell you that she's single now." Palakala.

 "This guy is gregarious, but he is always humble around Susan." Ezra.

 "Ha! Susan does prefer the type—"

 "Pollen's my bitch."

 ...

 Palakala couldn't speak anything correctly. He should go chat with a bear with honey covering his legs and genital.

 "Palakala, you should know better than anyone." I bit my lips, side-eyeing Palakala with disgust. "As long as I'm around, Pollen's pussy is min—"

 "OKAY YOUR DAD JUST CONTACTED ME HE SAID WE MUST RETURN TO THE CONVENIENCE STORE NOW!" Palakala dragged me up by my armpit. "Sorry about this, but we have to leave now."

 "Aw, dad's orders are absolute." I turned to Ezra, who lost his smile and Dumdum, who was pondering. "See… See you, Ezra.",

 "Se.... See you, Cray…cray…" Why did Ezra's smile look forced now?

 After we left, Ezra and Dumdum finished their coffee. As Dumdum stood, Ezra caught his wrist.

 "Hey um... What do you think of Craycray and Palakala?" Ezra frowned at my empty cup.

 "If we want to build a proper band and improve our performance, we need some guidance."

 "Hm. Palakala seems like a reliable man, but Craycray…is a little…cray-cray, don't you think?"

 "Honestly, yes." Dumdum sat back next to Ezra.

 "Don't contact her without my knowing, okay?"

 "Yep." He gazed at the Twin Death CD. "I won't buy the CD. I'll just search for it online."

 Ezra tilted his head, grabbed the CD, and placed it back in the indie rock section.

 "Yeah, me, too. Aye, why is it so hard to make music these days?"

 My name is Craycray. I hope Ezra finds me normal.