I Just Wanted a Quiet Life... So Why Am I an Uma Musume Trainer?!

The new training menu is grueling. His methods are so unique, even the president and other trainers couldn't dream them up. Two weeks in, I'm not fully used to it, but I'm starting to grasp how to tackle slopes.

Today's Sunday, a rest day with no training. That trainer's got some understanding, giving me a break—it's appreciated. But what should I do? Student council work's done since yesterday morning, and I've no juniors to mentor. What now…?

I spot something. "…What's that?"

A voice pipes up: "You sure? My lessons are tough, you know~!"

Hachiman replies, "That's what I need."

Hachiman and Smart Falcon… odd pair. Even with an Uma Musume's hearing, I can't catch their words from here. What to do?

At the dance studio, I end up here without thinking. A dance lesson, huh? I've never seen him dance or been taught by him. Not that I need lessons—I practice on my own.

Falcon asks, "Trainer-san, what dance are we doing?"

Hachiman says, "First, ENDLESS DREAM!!, then Sai Fantasia. Go for it."

"Okay♪ We'll go through the choreography, but can Falco request one if I want you to try something?" she asks.

"If I can pull it off, sure," he says.

"Sweet♪ Let's get started!" she chirps.

ENDLESS DREAM!!… That's a song only those who placed third or better in a Junior Class G1 can perform. Could he…?

♪~♪~

Hachiman pants, "How's that?"

Falcon gasps, "Trainer-san, you're amazing!! I didn't expect you to nail it on your first try!!"

"I just practiced a bit last night watching videos," he says. "More importantly, anything I'm missing? Be honest. It helps. Oh, skip the singing part."

"Got it, got it," she says. "Let's see…."

He can dance, huh. But why do I feel… drawn in?

Hachiman adjusts, "So, focus on my fingertips? Like this?"

"Exactly!" Falcon says. "Just arms make it floaty, but fingertips give smooth flow. You pick things up fast, Trainer-san!"

"Your teaching's solid," he says. "Run the same song again. Keep going until you're satisfied."

"Honestly, there's barely anything off," she says, "but I love the drive! I'll keep a close eye!"

They train for hours. Planned for two songs, but Falcon's requests add Instinct Speed, Winning the Soul, and Next Frontier. Surprisingly, his moves aren't sloppy—he's sharp, which catches me off guard.

Falcon cheers, "You're incredible, Trainer-san!! You actually danced my requests!!"

"I figured trainers need to know this stuff," he says. "Learning all the choreographies can't hurt."

"Today got me all fired up♪" Falcon says. "If you need me, just call Falco. I've got your back."

"Thanks, I'll hit you up," he says.

"That's it for today's lesson!" she declares.

"Thank you," he replies.

Oh no! I've gotta get out before he spots me! Who knows what he'd say!

At the dance studio exit, Hachiman muses, "Falco gave me a passing grade on dancing, so I'm good for now. Next…"

I step out. "Next? There's more?"

He pauses, then says, "Let's eat first. Cafeteria's fine, but it'll be packed with Uma Musume. Whatever, let's grab something there."

So, lunch is next. I thought he'd just crash at home on his day off, given how put-together he is. Guess not.

A voice calls out, "Yo, Hikitani, first time seeing you dressed like that. Training?"

Hachiman turns. "Kuronuma-san… Nah, dance lessons. Trainers have to teach this too, so I had Smart Falcon check my moves."

"Got it," Kuronuma says. "What's next?"

"Lunch," Hachiman says. "I'm starving after all that moving."

"Mind if I join?" Kuronuma asks. "I'm curious about your training. Wanna hear about it."

"Then I can steal your training tricks too?" Hachiman quips.

Kuronuma chuckles. "If it's a trade, we're even."

"Fair enough. Let's go," Hachiman says.

Lunch with Kuronuma, huh…

At the Tressen Academy cafeteria, I watch silently.

Hachiman's dance lesson hinted at more plans, but he's settled on lunch. As the old proverb goes, "You can't fight on an empty stomach." Filling up before moving on is just common sense.

Kuronuma speaks up. "Sorry for the delay, but congrats on your first step as a trainer. A debut win's worth celebrating."

"Thanks," Hachiman says. "I figured Air Groove could pull it off."

"Next race is the Saudi Arabia RC, right?" Kuronuma asks. "Think she can win?"

"Fifty-fifty," Hachiman says. "Maybe forty percent. She'll likely run out of steam in the final stretch. It's not impossible, but losing's more likely right now."

Kuronuma nods. "…I see. But…?"

"That's as is," Hachiman continues. "With more training to boost her skills, winning won't be hard. That's why I'm pushing a tough regimen now. Otherwise, she won't survive the Classics."

"Already eyeing the Classic route, huh?" Kuronuma says. "That's the right call. Without a goal, you don't know what to train for."

"Yeah," Hachiman agrees.

He's thought that far ahead? I muse.

"What's after Saudi?" Kuronuma asks. "It's a graded race. Air Groove won't settle for an open race, will she?"

"I'll just say it's a stage above G3," Hachiman replies. "We're rivals, even as colleagues. I'm not spilling everything."

Kuronuma chuckles. "Fair enough."

"You got info on me," Hachiman says. "Your turn, Kuronuma-san."

"I won't spill all, but fine," Kuronuma says.

They discuss next races and training methods, finishing lunch before parting ways. What's he up to now?

In the infirmary? Why here? Is he hurt? No, he wouldn't mess with supplies—he's not that type.

Knock, knock.

"Come in~," a voice calls.

Hachiman steps in. "Figures it's you. Why not call your family instead of me? I'm not your trainer, you know."

The voice laughs. "Why not? You had a tea party with McQueen and Dober the other day. Don't I deserve a chance?"

Who's that? Someone tied to Dober and McQueen, from the sound of it…

Hachiman sighs. "So, Ardan, feeling off again?"

Mejiro Ardan replies, "Yes. I overdid it in solo practice and felt a bit unwell… Chiyono-O brought me here."

"And where's Chiyono-O?" Hachiman asks.

"Sent her back to practice," Ardan says.

"So I'm the replacement?" Hachiman grumbles. "Why me?"

Ardan's voice softens. "I thought… you'd be okay seeing my weak side, Trainer-san. And…"

"What?" Hachiman says as Ardan shifts to sit up. He moves to support her, but she leans into him.

"…You're the only one I can lean on like this," Ardan says. "I don't know why, but you feel like a brother to me."

Hachiman groans. "Come on…"

"It's fine, isn't it?" she teases. "You give McQueen and Dober attention. What about me?"

"That was just them showing up at the clubroom," he protests.

"Then it's an order from your little sister," she says.

"Let's get one thing straight," Hachiman says. "I've got one sister in this world, and it's not you."

"That's a shame," Ardan says. "I'd love a brother like you."

"You'd only suffer," he retorts.

What am I even watching? I wonder.

After about half an hour, Ardan seems satisfied and recovered. Was this his post-dance plan?

Hachiman mutters, "Didn't expect that summons… Whatever, it's done. Time to go. Gotta apologize to Takanotsume-san for being late."

At the chairman's office, Hachiman says, "Sorry for the delay."

Takanotsume smiles. "No worries, Hikitani Trainer! I was waiting for you!"

"I meant to come after lunch, but I got held up," he says.

"It's fine," she says. "I called you here. Please handle this paperwork."

"Got it," he says.

Helping Takanotsume with work, huh? So that's his day. Where's Chairman Akikawa?

Takanotsume asks, "How's it going with your Uma Musume?"

Hachiman shrugs. "Tough question. I'd need to ask Air Groove. One side's opinion isn't enough."

"Fair," Takanotsume says. "Sorry, that was tricky. Let's try an easy one!"

"Shoot," he says.

"What's the name of the teacher who trained you?" she asks.

Hachiman pauses. "You're that curious?"

"Of course!" she says.

"I'm not saying," he replies. "I don't want to dismiss my teacher's wishes."

"Even with just us here?" she presses.

"You know the proverb, 'Walls have ears, sliding doors have eyes,'" he says. "You never know who's listening."

What!? Has he noticed me!? I've got to get out of here!!

And so, my impromptu trainer observation comes to an end.

Takanotsume tilts her head. "You thought someone was there?"

Hachiman blinks. "Wait, was there?"

"Don't ask me…" she says.

Smart Falcon, a top-tier dirt racer in recent years.

She dominated races like the Emperor's Prize and Tokyo Grand Prize, alongside local G1s and exchange graded races, racking up an astounding 19 graded wins! Her strength is undeniable, but she's also known for supporting a renowned jockey through a performance slump caused by a fall.

Mejiro Ardan, one of the Mejiro family's refined ladies. Her character design is stunning…

Her notable achievement is winning the Takamatsunomiya Cup, a G2 race (before it became the G1 Takamatsunomiya Kinen), a 2000-meter mid-distance event. She was a twin, but her sibling was stillborn. In racing lore, twins rarely succeed, so if both had survived, Ardan might not have shone. Her older sister, Mejiro Ramonu, was the first mare to win the Triple Tiara!