I Just Wanted a Quiet Life... So Why Am I an Uma Musume Trainer?!

It's lunchtime. Instead of the cafeteria, I'm in the courtyard. Why? I made a bento. The cafeteria's free, but eating there every day feels a bit off, plus the Uma Musume stares make it hard to relax. So, I eat here where it's quiet. This is only my third time, though.

"Time to eat," I muttered, opening my bento.

"Trainer," Bourbon called.

"Oh, Bourbon. Not eating lunch? You're running out of time," I said.

"No issue. I've consumed sufficient energy," she replied.

"Just checking—you're not living on jelly every day, right?" I asked.

"Is that bad?" she tilted her head.

I sighed. "Not bad, but jelly's bare minimum energy. Know why? Jellies are efficient for a quick boost, but most lack fats. What's the fat content in yours?"

"…Zero grams," she answered.

"Protein?"

"Five grams."

"That's about 90 kcal, right?" I estimated.

She blinked, shocked. "How did you know?"

"It's a common type athletes use for weight control. But compared to your training, it's nowhere near enough. Even if it's got protein, eating it post-workout won't build much muscle."

"…Status [Shock] detected. I thought this was optimal," Bourbon said.

"Try the cafeteria. Eat some meat, then have your jelly. You'll feel the energy difference. Fried stuff has fats, which fuel you. Train, burn fat, build muscle with protein. That's one way. Up to you, though—I'm not your trainer," I said.

"…New data input. Thank you, Trainer," she said.

"Glad it helped," I replied.

"You're eating here?" she asked.

"Yeah. Quiet, relaxing," I said.

"I see," she nodded.

…

...

......

Why's she still here?

"Not going to the cafeteria?" I asked.

"I decided to stay with you today. This space with you… I don't dislike it. It feels comforting," Bourbon said.

"Alright," I shrugged.

Crunch, slurp.

"Done," I said, finishing my meal. "Huh?"

Bourbon was staring, holding my hand.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

"Holding your hand," she said matter-of-factly.

"I mean, why?"

"It's reassuring," she replied.

"…"

"Trainer," she started.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"About your charge—"

"Found you!" a voice shouted.

An ash-colored Uma Musume dashed over—Mejiro McQueen, the Mejiro family's refined lady. She won the long-distance mock race. I don't know her well.

"Whoa, what's with the yelling and running? Something up?" I asked.

"No 'something' about it! Cafe told me you bake cookies!" McQueen exclaimed.

"I do. You heard but didn't try them?" I asked.

"I did," she said.

"Cool. So?" I prompted.

"They were delicious! I have a question. Are you free?" she asked eagerly.

"Just finished eating. What's up?" I said.

"Are there… any cookies left?" she asked, eyes sparkling.

"Nope," I said.

"Oh… really?" she deflated, visibly disappointed.

She's that bummed? How much did she want them? Is this refined lady a cookie fanatic?

"Cafeteria's got plenty of cookies. Why come to me?" I asked.

"Their cookies are tempting, but the calories…" she admitted.

Got it. She's not just into cookies—she's a sweets addict.

"So, you're after my near-zero-calorie cookies," I said.

"You said near-zero calories?!" she gasped.

"Didn't you know? Except for the chocolate ones, they're made with soy milk. Basically zero calories," I explained.

"So, if I ask you, I can eat sweets without worrying about calories?" she said, eyes wide.

Whoa, hold up. That's a hard no. That's way too much work, whether I'm her trainer or not.

"Trainer-san!" McQueen pressed.

"What?" I asked warily.

"Can you, perhaps, make zero-calorie cream?" she asked hopefully.

"No such thing exists. Lowest is like 200 calories. I'm not into making fancy stuff," I said.

"Please try!" she insisted.

"Why am I getting scolded?" I groaned.

Bourbon stayed silent, still holding my hand. Should I join the conversation? It's about sweets… I'm not knowledgeable. Plus, my thinking's sluggish—likely from holding Trainer's hand. Status [Reassured] acquired, but current status is notably impaired. I'll stay quiet and keep holding his hand.

And so, my lunch break passed.

Character Notes (Combined with Previous)

From Last Time:

Bamboo Memory: Winner of the Sprinters Stakes and Yasuda Kinen, earning the Outstanding Sprinter Award in '89 and '90. Famous for G1 victories with the Take father-son trainer-jockey duo.

Eishin Flash: Won the Japan Derby and Autumn Tenno Sho. A German-bred import known for sharp final sprints. Struggled post-Derby but reclaimed glory in the Autumn Tenno Sho, notable for being the first Imperial Visit race in 106 years. Jockey Mirco Demuro's respectful kneel to the Emperor and Empress was iconic.

This Time:

Mejiro McQueen: Renowned for three generations of Tenno Sho wins. The first horse to exceed 1 billion yen in earnings. A pure stayer, never placing below second in races over 2500m. Her lineage shines through maternal descendants like Dream Journey, Orfevre, and the wild Gold Ship.