Harry Potter:Bonds of Hope

Chapter 6: Narcissa

Harry looked at Draco with love and sadness in his eyes as he listened to the twins and Neville talk to Severus enthusiastically about anything and everything. Severus was calm, yet happy as he talked to them. Kind of how Harry imagined a father would talk to them. He was listening with rapt attention and replying with love, and patience, and care.

He felt… bad.

Not like he was a bad person or anything.

But… he knew how much pain the twins, Neville and Luna were in with the things they have gone through and continue to go through. He didn't realise that they thought of him as somewhat of a mother figure.

Now that he thought about it he realised that he was, in fact, mothering them. The way he wished someone would mother him.

He felt bad because he wasn't able to save them properly from their pain. There he was, a baby that used to be Draco Malfoy in his arms, a second chance for him, Draco and Severus to recover from their pain and find the family they desire. And those four, his four best friends, don't get that chance.

They don't get to start over and have the childhood they deserve.

And it hurt.

Yes, Severus and him don't get to relive their childhoods, they have to recover from them, but they have the chance to give Draco a better childhood. And Harry thought that that would be something to help him recover, somewhat, knowing that despite all the pain he went through, he wasn't damaged enough to not be able to raise his son well.

He knew, logically, that in order for the Bond to work everyone has to have lived through the same abuses. And his friends, thankfully, hadn't lived through the more harsh horrors that himself, Severus and Draco had lived through.

But that didn't mean that they didn't deserve a happy childhood. One where they are loved, and cherished, and looked after as they should be. It doesn't make their pain any less real.

Not that Harry thought he could cope, realistically, with five children. He was only fourteen after all. But it still didn't seem fair to him that Draco, Severus and himself got this chance to find happiness and family and they didn't.

"Harry, are you okay?" Neville asked, and that was when he noticed that he was crying silently.

He looked at the group of them and saw that they were all looking worriedly at him and he smiled warmly at them.

"Yeah, I was just thinking, is all," Harry said.

It was clear to him, though, that his friends understood what was going through his mind.

"Harry, it's okay," Fred said.

"We're okay," George said.

"Well, as okay as we can be," Neville said.

"Yes, we haven't had great childhoods," Fred said.

"But you three… you three deserve this chance at family and happiness more than anyone else we know," George said.

"And we can still think of you both as parents," Fred said.

"And you can both still parent us," Neville said.

"And Draco can be our baby brother," George said.

"Who we will love, and protect," Fred said.

"And, yes, we would love the opportunity to have you both as our actual parents, we would love a happy childhood," Neville said.

"But we aren't sad about it," George said.

"Because you get to help Draco have the childhood he deserves," Fred said.

"And you are both too young and have too much on your plate to have five young children to look after," Neville said.

"We will be content to continue our lives as they are," Fred said.

"Because we know that no matter what, you will continue parenting, and loving us," George said.

"And we will continue loving you," Neville said.

Harry felt weird for crying, because he had been taught not to cry, and crying in front of his friends just… didn't feel like something he should do. He should only cry, if he absolutely had to, when he is in the darkness and safety of his own bed.

But he couldn't help it. He supposed it was those pregnancy hormones he had heard about a number of times.

He rubbed the tears away because he couldn't stand crying in front of them, being so vulnerable in front of people, but he could see understanding in all of their eyes and it made him want to cry more.

"It's okay to cry, Harry," Severus said gently, and Harry couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

"We should head back to school before people notice we are missing," Neville said, and Harry felt incredibly grateful.

Harry smiled through his tears and Severus ruffled all their hairs, a smile on his face. He smiled more as they kissed his cheeks, then kissed Draco's forehead.

"Be good for mummy and daddy, Little Dragon," Fred said, a grin on his face.

"Love you," the three said before leaving, closing the door quietly behind them.

Severus wrapped his arms around Harry as the tears kept escaping.

"It's not fair," Harry whispered into Severus' chest.

"I know. But we can still love and protect them as much as we can, and make sure they are at least somewhat happy," Severus said, gently as he ran his long fingers through Harry's hair, "I'm sorry I couldn't bring you into the group. I really did want to, but Albus had been keeping a tight leash on me, so I did what I could to protect you," he said after a few moments of silence.

"That's okay. I understand," Harry said, "I'm sorry, too. For arguing with you so often, and for not being a good student,"

"Harry, you have nothing to apologise for. I shouldn't have been as harsh as I was but Albus kept pushing. And you are a good student. I know you are capable of far more than you do already, and I hope that you will allow yourself to shine now that we don't have to pretend to be who we aren't anymore,"

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Harry wiped his eyes as Severus called for them to enter.

Healer Greyclaw entered the room again and smiled lovingly at them.

"You three are very popular today, it seems. A Lady Narcissa Malfoy is here to see you," she said, her lips pulled thin.

Harry tensed, instinctively pulling Draco closer to him. Severus squeezed him gently, reassuringly.

"No, she isn't taking my baby," Harry said.

"Harry, sweetie. I wouldn't have let her down here if she had any intentions of taking Draco away from you," Healer Greyclaw said softly as she sat on the bed next to Harry, rubbing his knee gently.

"I will go speak to her, Harry. And I will only let her in if I feel like she will be okay. But I know Narcissa, she never hurt Draco. She would always be trying to protect him from Lucius, often at the risk of herself," Severus said, rubbing Harry's arm.

"Okay, but she can't take him. She can't take my baby," Harry said.

"I know. And she won't. I promise," Severus said, he kissed Harry's and Draco's head before leaving the room.

He smiled slightly as he saw Narcissa, she was shocked to see him so young again.

"Sev," she started, she looked frail and sounded it too. He couldn't deny that it worried him. She was his friend after all.

"Cissa, I-"

"No, Sev. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to accept Draco back from Dumbledore but Lucius said we would before I could step in. Not that I don't love him, of course. But he wouldn't be safe at the Manor. He… especially not as yours and Harry's son. I had heard of the Bonds of Hope ritual before and I am so thankful that it happened to you three. I know you and Harry will be wonderful parents for him. Much more so than Lucius and I-"

"Cissa, you are a good mother,"

"Not as good as I should have been, as I wanted to be. I couldn't get him out of there. I couldn't save him from the rapes. I couldn't save him from Lucius every time he hurt him. I couldn't save him from seeing me being hurt. I didn't sign his custody over to you,"

"Cissa, you wouldn't have been able to sign his custody over to me anyway. Even as his godfather. You would have needed Lucius' signature also, and we all know he wouldn't have given it,"

Narcissa shook her head, "I… there is a loophole in most change of custody forms that state that if one parent is unfit then you only need the one signature. I tried so many times over the last two years once I found that loophole, to find the strength to sign them. To give him to you. To make him safe. But I couldn't. Every time something stopped me from signing those papers," she collapsed onto a chair, crying and looking so fragile that Severus hurt at the sight of his once strong friend.

He rushed over to her and held her hand gently.

"You are a good mother, Cissa, you did everything you could to protect him. And Draco knew that. He loved you, so very much,"

"He was a good boy, when he wasn't trying to please his father. My sweet Little Dragon," she whispered, "he will be everything he was meant to be with you and Harry as his parents,"

"We will certainly try," Severus said nervously.

"You were already an amazing father to him, Sev. You will be just as amazing now," she coughed into a handkerchief and Severus couldn't help the scared feeling coursing through his veins when she pulled it away and he could see little specks of blood on it.

"What has that bastard done to you?" Severus growled.

"Nothing more than the usual. I have been ill for a while now," she said, a hoarse laugh escaping in the midst of her words, even as tears flowed down her cheeks.

Severus could read between the lines.

"You're dying?" he asked, although it wasn't truly a question.

She nodded.

"How long?" he said, his breath hitching.

"Anywhere up to a few months," Severus could tell that she thought it would be soon, though, "Draco didn't know. I couldn't… I couldn't tell him that I wouldn't be around to protect him for much longer… You have no idea how happy I am that this Bond happened. I was so scared that I would die and Draco would be all alone to deal with his father. I couldn't… I couldn't bare that thought. But now… Now he is safe. And he will be loved. Happy. Cherished,

"I know what this Bond means, Sev. It means that you three have all experienced the same things. You all understand each other. You can all help each other heal. And I have no doubt that you and Harry will raise Draco with all the love and care that none of you got as children,"

"We will do our best, I promise," Severus said, his heart hurting.

"I know you will, and that is all I could ask for. How is Harry recovering after his C-section? I know from my brief Healer training that it shouldn't have happened,"

"He is sore, but it can be managed with pain relievers every few hours or so. He went into labour after we arrived here and spent a good few hours with contractions whilst we were waiting for Healer Greyclaw to find the spell that would stop it,"

Narcissa tutted, "I mean, I only had two months of training before I got married and it was very much pushed not to give a male bearer a C-section without his consent or there being something that could harm the baby or the mother,"

"Yes, well, Griphook told Madame Pomfrey off quite thoroughly for it. It was rather entertaining," Severus grinned slightly.

"I can imagine. Goblins are rather fierce creatures," she said, a grin also on her face, "How is Draco? Or have you decided to change his name?"

"He is Draco Severus Potter-Prince," Narcissa smiled brightly, "and he is okay. Tiny, and his lungs aren't quite fully developed yet, but he is a strong one. He is going to be wearing an oxygen mask for a few hours a day to help his lungs whilst his magic and the bond is trying to settle. But he will be fine, Healer Greyclaw thinks he will be healed in a month at the very latest. He's a very quiet baby, but I do believe he was the first time so it isn't much of a shock for me. Harry was worried because he was sleeping a lot until Healer Greyclaw said it was okay, that he was okay," Severus' lips twitched.

"Can I… Can I see him? I understand if not, I just need to… one more time, I just need to hold him,"

"Cissa, you don't need to only visit now. You can come back," Severus said.

"We'll see, but can I see him now,"

"Of course," he stood up and helped his friend as she seemed to struggle. It hurt more than he could have imagined to see her like this. All those times he had healed her and Draco from Lucius' anger and it was all for naught.

He slowly led her into the room, an arm supporting her around her waist, almost casually. Harry and Healer Greyclaw looked up as they entered and he could tell that Harry was shocked at Narcissa's frailness but he hid it well enough.

He helped Narcissa onto the bed next to Harry and sat opposite her, smiling slightly as she looked at Harry and Draco in awe. Draco was no longer wearing the oxygen mask, which he was thankful for as he wasn't sure he wanted to see Narcissa's reaction to seeing it.

"He's so beautiful," Narcissa whispered.

Harry and Severus shared a look and Severus nodded at the question in his eyes. She was safe. She wasn't going to take him away.

"Would you like to hold him?" Harry asked.

Narcissa nodded, unable to speak as Harry gently passed her the tiny baby in his arms. The one that used to be hers. She looked at Draco with love and pain in her eyes, tears spilling slowly over her eyelids.

"I'm sorry, Draco. I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you more than I did. I tried, so hard. But he's so strong, and angry. I'm sorry, Little Dragon. You are the most precious thing in the world, and I love you more than every star in the sky. And I may not be around for much longer, but I will always be watching, loving and protecting you from the beyond. And I know your new mummy and daddy will love, cherish and protect you more than I ever could. You will be happy, and safe. I'm sorry I couldn't provide that for you, no matter how I tried. But it is over now, and you have this wonderful new beginning. I am so very grateful that Lady Magic has given you three this opportunity to find happiness and family. I know you will find it, my Little Dragon, I know how loved you are going to be," she kissed Draco's head, stroking his dark hair gently, and as much as it hurt her she passed him gently back to Harry, who had sadness in his eyes.

She smiled at the young man kindly, and kissed his forehead also.

"Look after him, for me. Love him, and cherish him, and protect him in the ways I couldn't. I know you will be an amazing mother, Harry. I can feel it. This Bond wouldn't have worked the way it did if Lady Magic didn't know how amazing you would be," Narcissa stood shakily.

"Lady Malfoy, wait. You can stay. You should stay," Harry said, almost urgently.

"He is expecting me at home. I have to go,"

"You deserve to be safe, too," Harry said.

Narcissa turned and smiled sadly at him, "It's a bit late for me, Harry. I don't have much longer, I can feel it,"

"That is all the more reason for you to stay. You should be comfortable, and safe,"

"You are a good man, Harry. But I can't," she held up her hand, showing a silver chain on her wrist which caused Severus and Healer Greyclaw to gasp, "I have to go," it hurt her to say it. She didn't want to go back to the Manor, and she knew that the people on the bed could see that. But she had to.

She turned and walked to the door, not paying attention to Harry or Severus as they tried to stop her. Tried to tell her that the Goblins could help.

No one could help her. She was sure of that. She had tried everything and everyone she knew of who she could contact without drawing too much attention to herself.

No.

She had to go.

She had to go.